What exactly is love? Does love come just to carry wounds? I used to consider it was all about love. It's like a cloud brewing when the sun is shining. Like cotton candy and lollipops that only give a sweet taste.
I never realized that I was the one who was so naïve to consider that way. Not only hard regrets, but love can also be very hurtful. Adults always try to dictate which is wrong and which is right. Then put pressure on us with what they assume is good. But are they right? Do they know everything?
In reality, no one is always right and no one knows all. They just like judging other people. Maybe to gain confidence or just a reason to run away from the problems they're facing. Like a disabled man throwing stones at a frog. They try to erase their wounds by injuring others.
***
Last night's prom left many memories. Some people smile happily, starting other love stories and new friendships. Some people start the day for being too drunk, and others seek to find a fresh air to open up a new story after accepting the bitter and heartbreaking reality.
In her class Helena sat in her chair but her views looked blank as if she were thinking of thing that made her sink into her mind. Her beautiful brown eyes look somber. Helena eyes like she's miserable about something even people around her who talk and play don't catch her eye at all. She seemed to shut herself down in the crowd.
Then when Natty comes and sits next to her, Helena sees at Natty with an unusual stare. The gaze stares like a sad stare, but there's thing different, something inexplicable. Even Natty can feel it.
“What's going on? Why are you looking at me like that?” asked Natty.
“Do you love him so much?” asks Helena with her belching eyes.
The question she said so that Natty was quite shocked, and Natty smiled. She was quite surprised that Helena had never paid attention to anyone before, but now she's asking questions like this.
“Who? Did you mean my boyfriend? Of course, I love him.” Natty replied.
“Why are you suddenly asking this?” asked Natty again.
“It’s nothing...” Helena answered and put her head down and turned her gaze to the book on her desk.
Helena was again immersed in her mind. Even when the first class sign bell takes place and the teacher is already teaching in front of the class. Helena glances at Natty with her worried gaze. Disappointment and sadness were also visible from her eyes. So many mixed feelings that it makes Helena so frustrated. She didn’t know what to do.
Helena looks so disheartened that she sighs and then returns to pretend to pay attention to the book on her desk. She recalled what she saw on Prom night. Something she can’t tell anyone.
That night after Alex left the prom hall. Helena goes and cry in the park. She cried alone with no one seeing her. She just wants to hide from everyone and vent all her grief. But the melodic sound of music with a romantic feel greets her ears. Helena was afraid that someone might see her, and then she wiped away her tears.
She looked back, but there was no sign of anyone there. Then Helena searched for where the music came from. Curiosity again brought her feet to the gym room. Helena is too curious about people playing music in the music room whereas there is a better place for it.
Her curiosity prompted Helena to open the door and take a peek. But what she saw left her unable to say anything. Helena is very surprised because she sees Natty dancing with their young art teacher and then kissing. She was so shocked that it felt like she couldn’t breathe anymore. It was as if her heart stopped beating, and she froze.
Helena closes the door, and she leans against the wall while pressing her chest. It was very surprising to her to see her own best buddy was a lesbian. It even woke her up all night. She seemed slapped by reality.
She blames Natty because she feels her own best friend has betrayed her. She was so angry that Natty never indeed gave her a clue. Until she blinded her felt idiotic and did not realize her best buddy anymore.
But and after thinking hard all-night Helena thought differently. She's trying to resist what she's seen. She lied to herself, figuring out all this was just Natty’s misunderstanding. Natty’s just in a pase, and she's going to get better. Yes, Helena thinks, natty is a sickness. The assuming most people have. They never looked at all this as love, but as a sickness.
***
Meanwhile, a storm ensues in Alex and Drake’s friendship. Those who are always close and understand each other like the perfect couple. Now even staying away from each other doesn’t even seem to glance at each other. They act like strangers who don’t know each other.
The storm that occurred on Prom night is still scarred indeed though it has passed. It’s not only sad for Alex, but also Ruby to look at all that. She’s concerned to see how Alex glances at Drake. Alex looks so pathetic and looks like he’s very keen to communicate to Drake. But Drake made it very clear that he didn’t want to be close anymore.
The bell rings, Drake leaves class. He went so fast that no one could reach after him. Alex who wishes to run after him can only stand up to see how Drake ran. It’s obvious to Alex that Drake no longer needs to talk to him. He remained fixated and dropped his gaze and tried to keep what he went through.
But Ruby stood next to him, holding Alex’s shoulder warmly. Alex turns and looks at Ruby. He also saw Ruby smiling at him. Nothing has changed, Ruby’s gaze and smile remain as she has shown. Alex couldn’t help himself from crying. Alex felt like his tears were going down, so he put his head on Ruby’s shoulder and Ruby rubbed his back. Until Alex can feel better.
“Why aren’t you angry? Drake even hated me after years of knowing me. Why don’t you ask me anything?” asks Alex in his somber tone.