: Love is A Losing Game
Matteo's Pov
5 years later
A lot of things have happened throughout these past five years after she left me.
Lorentz left Quinn too on the same night. He moves to the humans’ side and starts his own life there without looking back.
Both people we love left us, all because of our selfish acts and unforgivable mistakes we did in the past.
Today is the first time I attend to a meeting. Usually, Jay and Jona do on my behalf but an accident happens a year ago which left Quinn crippled and Jona died.
It was indeed my punishment from the moon goddess. I guess karma will always follow our way and it’s how I almost have nothing now.
It’s true that I almost lost everything except for my pack. They came to understand me and try to support me by standing by my side without questioning my choices and the absence of a luna.
That is right I never had another luna or anyone I chose to be a luna for me after Adassah. I was all alone in this world without the love of my life.
The Alphas from other packs started to come into the conference room. Eric and Dante wave in my way before sitting on their seat beside their luna.
They have been good friends to me throughout these years. When they came to know the whole truth they never judge me for it or even cast away my pack and me from the world of prestigious Alphas and Packs.
They were understanding and have shared with me their own experiences saying that they were not better than me either.
I look up at the room's door and saw Aaron nod in my way once he enters the room.
He came and sat beside me patting me on the back "it's good to have you back Matteo," he said with a smile.
Yeah, and you don't get to forget my cousin and Jay who have to help me through the pain apart from others.
Everyone was here except for one Alpha who says to run in a bit late. I have heard of this new Alpha and his luna but never I have met him as this is my first time in a meeting in the past five years.
I chat with Aaron and other Alphas from the other pack. Glad nobody brought up the death of Jona or having no luna. Suddenly the doors open and that's when I saw her.
My Mate, my love, my woman, the one I lost 5 years back then. There was no more bond binding us to one another as our separation kills those sparks but unbelievably the feelings I have for her were infinity.
My heart, my body, my soul is still tied to her.
Her sapphire eyes lighten the room. The same eyes I use to dream of every night. The ones I look into when we made passionate love all night, years ago.
Her black hair now highlights with red hair neatly done in an up-do bun with curly hair loosen down her face.
The hair I wish to touch one more time before I die.
Her face filled with radiant. It no longer has any dark shades under those beautiful eyes.
Every inch of her body and soul I always imprint them in my head and heart.
One of the council members announced that the meeting is now starting as everyone is here now, including the luna of the Pack we have been waiting for.
My heart clenches hearing that the luna of the last pack is here instead of the Alpha. My eyes move from her to two young pups behind her.
My breath hitches and I felt Aaron's hand patting my shoulder in which I turn and told him that I'm okay. Yet this is too much for me to see and witness.
Watching her from across the room is unbearable with two grown-up pups pulling on her skirt calling her "mama."
'How lucky is the one whom they call their father?' I thought to myself as I keep staring at her.
I wish they were mine and she is still mine unfortunately they aren't anymore. I bet she now belongs to someone else and how lucky is that person to have her as their mate and luna.
She ushers the two young pups out to their baby sister before taking a seat and smiling around the room. Her eyes glance around until they are finally on mine.
We look into each other’s eyes almost forever. It feels like the world has frozen and there was no one in this room but just the two of us.
My mouth stretched into a smile while at the same time I am trying to be brave and that's when she gave me the brightest smile that I always remember.
It was that same smile she gave me when I first officially ask her out as my girlfriend. She is happy and that all matters to me now.
Seeing her engage freely and smiling from here to there in the room flutters my heart.
Of course, my heart always belongs to her alone even though everything still hurts. Yet all that matters is that she is happier than ever and it warms my aching heart.
She has moved on and found someone that loves her sincerely, deserves her better, and is good enough for her.
I won't ever compare myself to the one she has chosen and I have no right to feel jealous or mad. I have to standby my words to her and I won't be any more obstacles in her life.
She deserves that smile and her own happy family after all the pain I made her go through.
The guilt that has been eating up my soul is no longer there in me. Everything that used to weigh on me is gone but is now replaced with sorrow and regret.
I still remember what she told me years ago, that I would never know how she felt about everything then; me choosing her, me loving her, me having a kid with her.
She may be wrong then because what she felt back then is what I felt in every moment of this life.
Losing her was enough for me to know what it feels like to be unloved, to be hurt, to be broken, to be upset, to be angry, and to regret every choice I ever made.
This love I have is already a losing game, where I am already lost in this game of love and mates.