I ran upstairs and went to my room right away. I went to bed and wrapped the blanket all over my body. I bit my bottom lip while trying to erase what Evan have said a while ago.
He didn't have the slightest right to say it! He even had the audacity to point out that I am not happy in this life. It was all his fault! He caused these negative and heavy emotions I've kept for the longest time. He was the reason why my way of thinking has changed. He made me live in sadness! That was his fault!
I could still feel the excruciating pain inside my chest. I remember how our eyes met and it felt more painful. He made me feel worse than ever!
The door opened and I saw Chandria's worried eyes glaring at me. She closed the door gently and then went to my bed. She touched my forehead with evident concern flashing in her eyes.
She sighed after a few seconds of checking my body temperature.
"He said that you have a fever," she stated.
"Don't worry, I'm feeling better, Chandria."
"But you're still sick—"
"Did you already know that he had been staying here in Bohol?" I asked, cutting her off.
Her eyes widened because of my question. Her lips parted and I can't help but to observe her reaction carefully. She became uncomfortable and I can totally see it on her face. In the end, she only nodded, confirming that she knew everything.
I closed my eyes firmly. Damn it! Of course my best friend had an idea about what was happening. She became part of Evan's circle ever since she and Seiji started their relationship as a couple. I wanted to scold myself as I never thought that Chandria had some knowledge about Evan's sudden appearance in this province.
"If you already knew about this, then why didn't you tell me, Chandria?" I asked her coldly.
I felt a little bit betrayed. I can't help but to doubt her as well. Do I still have her loyalty or she's more loyal to Evan now that she becamse friends with him? I am wondering what are the things Evan has told her behind my back.
"Because he told me that he would only look after you from afar. He promised that he would not approach you, babe. And I felt that he was really concerned about you so I just let him do these things. I'm sorry, Nathalie." She reasoned out. I felt the guilt eating her up because she started biting her lower lip.
"And you believed in him just like that, Chandria?" I didn't mean to yell at her but I felt betrayed by someone I trusted the most.
I got up so I can talk to her properly. My chest felt so heavy and my ragges breathing became evident. I am mad as hell right now because she betrayed me. She let that man go near me despite the fact that I didn't want to see his face anymore! She didn't respect me! And I can't believe that someone like her got fooled by that evil Evan Zendejas!
"Nathalie, please calm down!" Her voice was trembling. She eyed me with tears forming on the side of her eyes. "I'm sorry, alright? I didn't mean to help him go near you. I felt guilty about it and I know my mistakes. I just got carried away due to some situations. I know you're mad but please forgive me..."
"Do you know something that I should know?" My eyes narrowed at her.
She got flustered. She blinked several times and shook her head abruptly.
"I... I didn't know anything!"
"Liar!" I scoffed and looked at her angrily.
"Nathalie, listen!" She licked her lower lip and based on her reaction I know that she's lying. "I am not in the position to tell you some things about w-what happened in the past. Evan should be the one to tell you everything... I mean... He has to tell you and I can't because I have no right to do it... He's the only person that can tell you everything... I'm so sorry..."
Tears pooled in my eyes as I continued to look at her. My lower lip trembled because of the pain inside my chest. I can't believe that I am hearing all these things from my best friend. She was the only person I could trust but because of this situation... of the fact that she chose to hide this from me and she knew something but she decided not to tell me... I don't think I can still trust her.
Who else I could trust in this cruel world?
"And you know what is more painful? He didn't want to tell me everything! He didn't want me to know! All of you are keeping secrets and I hate it!" I yelled and wiped my tears away. "Leave me alone!"
"Nathalie, please... I didn't mean to hurt you, alright? I'm truly sorry..."
"Shut up!" I said and then turned my back on her.
"I hope you understand, babe. I don't want to add up to your issues and I still believe that you two should talk when everything gets fine at least..." she added with sadness evident in her voice.
She stood up and sighed heavily. After a few seconds of silence, I heard her footsteps and then left me in my room like what I wanted.
I gasped for air. A soft whimper escaped my lips as my tears continued to fall from my eyes. Why is this happening? I felt like the whole world is whipping me to death. The fact that everyone of them are keeping secrets from me, that alone brought an excruciating pain to me. And it sucks because I can't do anything about it. There's no way for me to find out the truth... everything.
That Evan Zendejas has brought nothing but a sting feeling in my life and I can't help but to hate myself more because I let it all happened. I should've ran away from the very start. I should've stayed away from him and get these issues prevented while I can.
If only I was careful enough, things like this would never happen from the very start. If only I was careful enough to stop the storm from happening, I wouldn't end up crying in despair.
I laid down on my bed with hot tears flowing down my cheeks. I cried my heart out because somehow, it felt tiresome to hold it in... I've been dying to burst it all out... The sight of him made me lose my control to every emotion I've kept in.