"Why the fuck did you tell her, Clyde?" Sei asked his friend coldly.
"Simply because she was pissing me off," Clyde answered in full sarcasm. I glanced his way. He smirked a bit and stood up to meet Evan's dark glare at him. "This whole shit pissed me off. She needed to know, brother. Stop protecting her feelings like a baby."
"What the hell, Clyde! Can you stop it for Christ's sake?" Ash complained. His voice is already irritated.
"No worries, I am already done..." he said and chuckled softly. "I need to go back in Manila now. My wife is already looking for me."
Clyde glanced at me. He didn't say a single word but he only grinned devilishly. Then he started walking his way out of this rest house.
I gasped for air. I can't believe this is happening... I looked at Evan whose eyes just fell on the floor.
"Evan..." I called his name firmly.
His gaze turned to me. I felt the lump in my throat. I can't help but to feel weak because of this situation. He let out a heavy sigh and walked towards me. He touched my elbow gently. His touch brought a familiar feeling. Like I was electrified that made my body freeze.
"I will walk you home," he said in his calm tone.
"No... We have to talk, Evan." I told him while looking in his eyes intently.
If I need to beg for details, I will do so. I want to know everything. I need to understand why it all needed to happen.
"Clyde is really a pain in the ass." Ash commented when we all heard the sound of the main gate opening and closing loudly.
"We just left you guys for a few minutes and then this happened already. Evan asked you to take care of her, not to make her cry, Ash." Sei's voice was still serious.
"Evan..." I called his name once again.
He remained silent. While his jaw was still clenching firmly that indicated how difficult this situation must be for him, he looked at me in the eyes. He breathed sharply and then uttered a curse.
"Nathalie..." Chandria called my name but I can't look away from Evan. I stared at him in a way that he would understand how I feel right now, that I want to know everything badly.
"Please leave us alone for a moment." Evan told our friends after a few minutes of being silent.
I took a deep breath and waited for Chandria, Sei and Ash to leave us alone so we can talk properly. My eyes were still fixated on him and unwilling to look away. It's like I am afraid to turn my gaze to other things because if I do so, then he would have a chance to lie to me again. And I can't let it happen.
I don't know what else to feel anymore. It felt like there was a knife stabbing my chest. It felt so heavy because of the unwanted emotions it has due to what has been revealed to me. I just realized that all the thoughts and assumptions I have were all wrong and I hate the fact that I lived with them for such a long time. I became too judgmental and mean...
But now, I want to know everything. I want to know every detail. I need to understand why it all happened... Even though I still felt sick, no one can stop me from wanting to know the truth. I have to know everything so that I can move forward...
I breathed heavily and tried to control the hot tears forming on both sides of my eyes. Shit! You can't be weak this time, Nathalie!
"Can you please..." my voice cracked. I gasped for air. "Tell me what really happened..."
"That's not really important, Risha. I already took care of it." He said and then he looked away.
"But I want to understand everything, Evan..." my voice was almost pleading. I bit my lower lip while catching my breath.This situation was giving me a hard time to even breathe properly.
I just really want to know the truth. I don't understand why he is keeping it from me. Does he really want me too feel the hatred towards him? Does he want me to live in the dark? Does he want me to live with these negative emotions because of my false assumptions towards the situation?
He looked at me again. I saw the pain and fear in his eyes. I can't help but to feel guilty... I was so busy loathing him before while he did his best to fix everything even thought it was difficult.
Why? What happened that put my life in danger? Why did he save me? If Clyde were telling the truth, then probably he was really in a dangerous situation that night and his enemy have used me against him. Was that it?
"Evan, please..." tears pooled in my eyes again.
My knees were getting weak that I had to sit down on the couch. I could feel that he doesn't want to say something, as if like I need to kneel in front of him so that all my questions will be answered. I don't understand why he's being hard on me when I just want to know the whole truth and his side.
I'm already living in the dark. How long should I stay in it? How much should I have to endure for me to finally see the light? For me to get freed?
"I just had to deal with them, Nathalie." He finally spoke up.
I looked up at him only to see the ruthless expression on his face. He bit his lower lip like he's trying to control the emotions inside his chest. His hand formed a fist which caused the veins in his arm to be visible.
"Go on..."
Despite the throbbing pain in my head, heaviness of my chest and swollen eyes, I still managed to stare at him in hopes that he would feed me with the information I need to know. I felt that this would be the best chance I've been waiting for... to get freed from the darkness. If he tells the truth, I can move forward and live my life happily.
"Those were the bastards who wanted me dead because they saw me as a threat for their union," he explained in a cold voice. "They sent people to tail on me reason why they learned about you. I received multiple death threats and they even managed to get the guts to include you with their fucking game..."
My lips parted in disbelief. I didn't know that he had that kind of situation and it was really dangerous! I felt the big lump in my throat that gave me a hard time to breathe. All I could do was to swallow hard and listen to him.
Shit...
I watched his every move. He sat on the couch beside me. His eyes fell on the floor, with his arms resting on top of his knees. His hand went to his hair and combed it frustratedly.
"That night of our engagement party..." his ragged breathing became evident. "I was on my way to see you but they sent a picture message of a gun... pointed to your head... from a secret space above the ceiling. That scared me so much. I didn't want you to get involved that's why I had to call off our engagement." He paused and then glanced at me.
Hot tears flowed faster than my heartbeat. My eyes were still fixated at him without even blinking. I didn't know... My lips trembled in shame. His revelation was too much to handle. I sobbed as the truth slowly sank in my head.
"God knows how I wanted to make a quick move. I had the capability to make them suffer but..." he said firmly and then breathed heavily. "Those fuckers knew how to screw my mind big time and I can't risk your life, Risha. I just had to protect you at all cost..."
I gasped for air. I tried to think of a right word to say but I didn't know how to even react after learning about everything. This whole truth seemed to have blown my mind up to the point that could not think of anything else.
All I knew was I felt sorry for being so stupid... for being ignorant and naive in making false conclusion while he was busy protecting me... for sorting things out in order for me to live.
I felt the guilt eating me up. How did it happen? Did I add up to his problems? Did I become a burden for him in the past year? If only I knew this would come from the very beginning.. I should've stayed out of his life... Maybe that would've made his life a little easier than this.
I let out a multiple sobs. I cried my heart out and held my chest like it was the least thing I could do.
You're so stupid, Nathalie. You were so busy loathing this man while he was risking his life to keep you safe...
I felt his hand rubbing a part of my back. I just realized that he already sat beside me to console me. I heard his soft curses, perhaps because he finds me a burden now that I finally learned about the truth.
"I'm sorry..." I whispered softly. "I didn't know... no one told me... I should've stayed out of your life... I should've ignored my parents back then—"
"Stop it, Risha. Please hush now..." his voice was now calm and soothing. "This is the reason why I kept it all from you. My baby is really a crybaby..."
"Damn you..." was all I can say.
He chuckled a bit and still rubbing my back. He assured me that everything is back to normal.
Hopefully...