Samantha's POV
"Nope..." I said as I returned the necktie where I got it.
It's past 4 pm and I am at the mall trying to do some shopping. I was just about to go home when I saw the stacks of necktie on the corner and for some reason, Josh immediately crossed my mind.
A month has already passed since we've started dating and I must say, we're doing a very poor job in being a little sneaky behind everyone's back.
We at least appreciate the boys for not asking questions about our relationship. Though I can always catch Jason being playful with Josh while smirking at me, obviously reminding us about what happened that night.
I would always catch Vash pointing at me and Josh while doing a little heart.
After almost thirty minutes of choosing, I gave up and decided that it's time to go home.
I was on my way to get my car when my phone rang. I immediately tap the answer button when I saw his name flashed on the screen.
"Hello?"
"Hi. Where are you?" My heart fluttered just by hearing his voice.
My left hand immediately clenched in front of my chest.
Samantha, he's not here. Control yourself.
"Shopping" I said "Are you done with your schedule?"
I heard him chuckle. Heaven. "We haven't even started."
"Is that so?" I smiled. Just the sound of his laughter is more than enough for me to fight my longing for him.
"Ah, I'll call you back, okay? I need to put some make up. Take care, babe"
Before I can even respond, the line already ended.
My hands dropped to my side.
For some time now, I've trying to figure out my feelings. There always comes a time that I just suddenly feel inferior about me having a relationship with him.
It's not that I am not happy but I feel like there is something lacking.
Come to think of it, I'm actually not really sure what he likes. Heck, I don't even know what his favorite color is.
Because they recently had their comeback, which is a bomb by the way, me and Josh rarely see each other. Even our exchange of messages had been limited.
Every time he tries to call me, I can sense that he's already tired and probably in need of sleep so I'd always make some excuse like I'd be on a meeting so he can have a little rest.
I'm not even trying to be a martyr or what but I guess I'd be hurting more if I see him struggling and barely getting any sleep.
Even before I met him, I never actually imagined myself being all sweet and cuddly in a relationship. I am never envious whenever I see young couples having fun together.
Maybe that is why it's easier for me to get used to this feeling of being alone even after being in a relationship.
I don't want him to feel the burden of making time for me, for his job and for his fans. When I agreed to be in this relationship, I knew that it will hard but of course, I won't deny that I'm a little hurt.
To be honest, I'm starting to think that we've rushed too much instead of allowing time for us to really know each other.
One time, I tried searching some videos in the internet and dozens of fan made videos of him being shipped with a lot of other idols showed like, c'mon, those girls are so pretty and skinny. Though I'm not the insecure type, let's all be honest, I'm not really a looker either.
Of course, I look like a pig and I'm too small. How will I compete with those idols that are so beautiful?
Sometimes, I'm starting to question if I made the right decision to be with him. Not that he's lacking but I think I'm the one who has nothing to offer.
These thoughts keep coming on my mind lately but I can't tell him that. I don't want to add my personal dilemmas to those of his.
Josh had always been so good to me. He's one of the purest soul I've ever met.
However, these days, I can also feel that he'd been a little aloof. It started after my mother visited. I'm not even sure what's wrong.
He may not tell me about it but I don't know, I found myself thinking if this is still right.
My shoulder fell at the thought. Why does it feel like we're slowly drifting apart?
I hope not. Because I don't want to lose him.
----------------------------------------------------
Josh's POV
I was busy staring at the screen of my phone before me when I felt a soft nudge on my right shoulder.
I just finished my makeup and I'm trying to decide if I should call her back or not. She's probably upset because I ended the call earlier. I don't mean to but the makeup artist is already pulling me.
I looked up to see Haiden sitting beside me in the waiting room. We have a scheduled performance on a music show today so we're all busy
"Why?" I asked him then looked back to screen of my phone.
A few minutes have passed but he still hasn’t said a thing so I decided to look back at him and was taken aback by the worried look on his face?
"What?" I asked him and nudging him back. "You're making me nervous. Did something happen?" A lot of things may be bothering me lately but I'll always have a time to spare if my members are in need of something.
"You." My eyebrows furrowed at his response. "You seemed bothered. We've noticed that you seemed out of it lately." he added. "Is it about her?"
It doesn't take long for me to understand what he meant. I sighed.
Me and Samantha have been dating for a month now but I feel like there is something wrong with our relationship. I mean, we get to be together and don't get me wrong, I like her. I'm happy when I'm with her but somehow, I feel, I don't know, unsure?
The boys never asked me anything about my relationship with her but I'm sure everyone noticed. Of course, Jason having a loud mouth that he has.
Also, Jake had been avoiding me these past few days. I'm not sure what their relationship is, if they have a past but my heart ached really bad after I heard the word of Samantha's mom. I can see that her mom adores him so much and their parents even know each other.
I'm not even bitter about the fact that she did not introduced me as his boyfriend to her mom but, hearing those words hurt a lot.
"I don't know..." I muttered.
Our attention was caught by Yohan pushing Jake to our direction while the youngest one is trying his best not to be caught up with his pushing.
"Ah, hyung!" Jake tried to get off from Yohan's grasped but that's Yohan, if you know what I mean.
"No, you should talk to him." He pushed him real hard until he fell to the cushion where me and Haiden were sitting.
Yohan then pulled Haiden to him and looked at us.
"Hey, you two need to talk." He said then turned his back with Haiden.
I looked at Jake confused and a little expectant on what he's about to say.
"I need to tell you something." He said his attention focused on his nails.
My eyebrows furrowed. I hope it's not what I think it is.
Don't tell me.
"What?" I asked him.
"About Samantha...she's my---"
"You two, you need to head down on stage, now!"
Before he can even say something, the music director already shove us to the stage.
I looked back to him "Let's talk about it later." I told him.
"No, wait!" I heard him protested but we have a filing to attend to.
That can wait, right?