ASH
"The woman in question. . . is my wife."
Immediately I say those damming words, I release her hands and step back. I can't look at her, I just fucking can't. I can't change this already awkward situation I've gotten myself into but I know how this must sound to her.
Bad.
Very bad.
It's like rubbing salt into an injury and hoping it'll get better.
Not fucking going to happen.
I claw a hand through my hair as I begin to pace. "You don't understand," I say more to myself than to her, as if by saying that will magically make things alright. "I didn't have a choice, I had to marry her."
Fuck it, I sound like a damn pussy.
I hear a choking noise and when I brave a glance at her, one of her hands is at her throat. She looks like she can't breathe. I take two steps toward her, but she holds up a hand in the air and I freeze in my tracks.
Fucking dummy.
Of course, she doesn't want me anywhere near her. I watch helplessly as she staggers backward, almost falling in the process but catching herself before slumping onto the bed.
Now I know why they tell people to sit before giving them the bad news. It's like being sucker punched in the stomach if you're caught in a standing position. I watch as her eyes widen to almost saucers. She looks up at me, tears glistening in her eyes before a sad smile graces her lips. "Her pussy must be paved with diamonds and laced with honey for you to leave me and marry her."
I huff out loudly because that's farthest from the truth. She sees my reaction and the sad look gives way to a feral one as she stands with balled fists. "Why then? Why did you marry her?!"
I heave out a sigh because I'm done running away. I'm done. She needs to know the truth, so I tell her everything. After I finish, I realize letting this shit off my chest is fucking therapeutic. I feel like giving myself a pat on the back for keeping this information to myself for a full damn year. Unfortunately, her reaction isn't what I expected in the least. She throws her pretty head back and guffaws out loudly. After a few minutes of wild laughter, she simmers down to chuckles, and I steel myself, hoping this isn't another one of her breakdowns. And then she catches my eyes and her chuckles die down to nothing.
"You're kidding me, right? All that stuff about you getting kidnapped to get married is all some gangster shit you just dug up from memory of a film you watched, right?"
I shake my head back and forth and my heart sinks when the twinkles in her eyes die completely giving way to confusion, worry, and finally settling on one in particular that's plagued me this past year. . . fear.
Shit!
I can see she's valiantly trying to wrap her head around my words but she's struggling. "Hold up!" She says as she begins to pace. "You actually mean to tell me. . ." She taps the air with her fingers. "that you were kidnapped and bundled to Italy and taken straight to the church to get married to this scorned woman, because?"
Her eyes drift down to the front of my jeans and I can see the sneer pasted all over her face.
"I mean. . ." She shrugs. "You're good, but not that good, no offense." She huffs and makes a dismissive motion with her hand. "Tell me another lie that made you stand me up on our engagement day or just fuck off already."
She's back to angry Hazel eyes and fuck if it's not turning me the fuck on. This can not happen right now. I fist my hair in my hands and pull, closing my eyes as I relish in the feeling. The pain brings me back to reality as I watch her warily watch me.
"I'm not fucking lying to you, okay. I'd have to be a real asshole to do that." She gives me a doubtful look and I huff. "Yes, yes, it was a horrible thing to not show up for our engagement but believe me when I tell you I didn't have an option."
I feel her hands touch my shoulder turning me around to face her. "But. . . surely, you can get out of this marriage, you can also take her out, I mean you're the great Ash Thunder."
I hate myself for what I'm about to say because I'm going to hurt her further with my next words. "I'm afraid I can't do that." I shake my head. "Shit runs deeper than just this scorned woman."
Her eyes narrow a fraction as she listens to me. "What are you saying?"
I resist the urge to claw my hand through my hair once again because I don't want to have thinning hair in the long run. I put a hand on her arm and she allows me to lead her to the bed. At least we're making some progress. I watch as she plops onto the bed while I take a seat opposite her. I try to hold her hand but she shifts them away from me. Alright - baby steps will do for now.
"Listen to me, Hazel eyes, these people aren't your run-of-the-mill gangsters or mafia."
"People?" She asks, her brows scrunching in confusion.
Shit! She doesn't understand. Looks like I'm going to have to dive into some history.
"Alight, let me give you a background history and try to flesh it up for you." I take a deep breath before continuing. "Italy is majorly run by five mafia dons that are known as the Camorra. They're the biggest and most powerful mafia in, not just in Italy, but the whole world. They've got far-reaching tentacles as well as eyes and ears everywhere. When I tell you they're the ones who even say who's gonna be president in Italy, you better believe I'm telling you the truth. These guys are capable of taking out an opposition before it even begins to become a problem."
I stop when I notice my words are affecting her. She gets herself under control before nodding for me to continue.
"I. . . my dad was a capo." When I see her confused look, I rush on. "That's like a commander of an area, or like the governor of a state."
She gives a jerky nod, prompting me to continue. "Before I was even born, I was match-made to marry one of the daughters of the Camorra to cement the relationship between our family and theirs."
This going-back-in-memory thing needs a stiff drink in my system, but I plow through it anyway as I stand. "I was meant to marry her on my sixteenth birthday but I had other plans, you see. I didn't want to step into the hopes of my father - who by the way was a cruel as fuck asshole- I just wanted to live my life the way I deemed fit and I did just that. The night before the wedding, I left town and Italy as a whole."
Her eyes have rounded once more to almost saucers and I can just about hear the gears in her mind rolling and churning out my words.
"That's not all, I'm afraid, the woman I was forced to marry. . . " I watch with a sinking heart as she shakes her head, a look of horror creeping into her eyes. I take a deep breath before plunging on. "Is the one I'm married to."