"Do not try to fight a lion if you are not one yourself."
-Proverb-
***
Phoebe's P.O.V
"I am a descendant of a yakuza member."
He blurts out one of the most shocking thing I have ever heard. To the best of my knowledge, yakuza is the Japanese version of mafia, and I have experienced what it's like to get yourself involved with a mafia, I mean, I'm pretty sure my life is still not quite safe yet now considering Edgar's confession and it's not a good thing, and I know exactly, involving myself in another mafia is not going to end any better than before.
He can see the shocked expression on my face and I can tell he instantly regrets telling me all of these, because now, I don't want to even be near him even though all he has ever done to me so far is nothing but goodness. I feel bad for squaring people or a certain group but my psychological being is rejecting this whole situation and I'm not blaming it.
"Please, do not be afraid of me, I would not hurt you, you are my savior after all." He takes a step closer to me as he looks at my eyes and he holds out his hand to touch my face. But I reflexively take a step back.
"Yuuto, can... can I go back to my room?"
"Oh, of course, I will take you there."
"No, no, it's fine, I can go there on my own." He has a frown on before his expression softens again.
"Okay, I will see you tomorrow."
I nod before leaving the beautiful garden and make my way to the room provided for me. I am feeling slightly scared right now. What if my reaction earlier is wrong and he is upset now? What if something bad happens to me tomorrow when I wake up? So many thoughts enter my head and by the time I reach the room which seems like forever, all the energy in my body disappear and I fall on the floor with my heart beating so fast.
Oh my gosh, what have I gotten myself into, again?
***
Yuuto's P.O.V
The sound of the artificial waterfall never fails to calm me down, and this is what I need right now.
I lean on the wooden chair as I look at the beautiful garden in front of me, illuminated by the gleaming light. I touch my chest, because there is a tingling feeling inside, a funny feeling I have never experienced much before, but I recognize very well.
The feeling of pain.
I feel pain inside for some reason, is it because of her reaction earlier? I don't know why but something inside me wish she would gladly accept me even after knowing my identity.
The funny part is knowing that she is a mere stranger and I'm already trusting her enough to tell her one of my deepest secret, which is my identity. I wouldn't blame her really for reacting that way, her reaction is pretty normal, she acts like the majority of people when they know me for the first time.
But those people never make me feel upset, in fact, I don't even care if they do.
So why do I care so much about her?
I close my eyes and try to contemplate on my life, and the images of the people I have killed in my whole lifetime appear, most of them are just a bunch of shady and rotten hearted men, but the image of a few women and children appear as well in my mind.
Most of them are the relatives of those men I have killed, I can see them with terrified faces, as they tremble right before they face their death.
When we get rid of a pest, we get rid of their whole family as well, that is our way of living, because it is well known that other family members will often seek revenge for the death of their relative that we killed which is why getting rid of the whole family is much safer for our well-being.
Because for some people, violence is the answer, and for people like me, this is my answer and this is my reality.
This is the way I see people, because ever since I was little, I was taught that human being only care about themselves and you must do whatever you can to survive.
It happens to a lot of us.
But she has shown me another side of a human being when she stepped in to prevent me from getting shot, her, a complete stranger, who has no clue who I am or how much of a messed-up person I am, actually risked her life to save mine.
Perhaps, that was the beginning of everything, it's almost as if another opening has been shown to me, a brighter side of life and a brighter side of people.
This is why I want her to accept me for who I am, and i can feel it, that she is actually a good person, and I will try to convince her that I am one, by treating her well, even though in reality I am one of the most horrible human being on the world.
I hear approaching footsteps and Izumi appears in front of me. She is still wearing her business outfit and her expression is as straight as ever.
"Yuuto, your guests are here."
"Tell them I will be there in a moment."
She looks at me with her pitch-black eyes. Her gaze is an observing one, and she finally makes her decision to confront me in her own way.
"Something is bothering you, what is it?"
"There is nothing wrong."
"Is it because of that Onna?"
"She has nothing to do with this."
She finally approaches me and stop right in front of gazebo.
"I can tell when you are troubled, we have been together since childhood, I know you like the back of my hand, so tell me, do you have feelings for that French woman?"
"I don't know, really, I can't really tell, Izumi, why are you asking me such a hard question?"
"Tell me how it feels."
I chuckle before standing up and set my feet on the floor, and I walk pass Izumi, before turning my face to face her.
"It's warm and painful at the same time, it feels light and heavy, and it's really strange. It's like my world is crumbling down."
"You are so dramatic." she replies with a sinister smile, typical of her.
"Izumi, I told her."
"What?"
"I told her that I am a descendant of a Yakuza."
"You are crazy." She says in a slightly higher pitch voice, but her expression remains calm although I know she really wants to kill me right now if she can.
"She didn't take it well, she looked surprised, and she excused herself to her room afterward, and now I'm left here with this tingling pain in my chest I can't get rid of."
Izumi looks at me as if she really wants to judge me, but at the same time, sympathize with me. She finally lets out a long, heavy sigh, and stare at me again.
"Is it because she is French?" My gaze sharpens as she spits out those words.
"What exactly do you mean by that?"
"It is just my personal thought, but I think that maybe your feeling for her is a result of her being French. Perhaps, you get the vibe of your mother from her, for both of them are French."
"Are you implying that I like her because she reminds me of my mother? That's ridiculous!"
"See, you are losing your temper now, and yet you always put on a gentleman mask when you are in front of her, what do you think she will do when she finds out about all of these? Or worse, what if she knows the real you? Do you think she will be able to accept it? You told her about yourself, and you saw that she was afraid. She is a lost foreigner, and you won't be able to keep her forever, Yuuto, get a grip of reality!"
I can't handle this woman anymore and before I say something that I will regret, it's better to get out from here.
Damn it.
***
Phoebe's P.O.V
I am supposed to be asleep now, but for some reason I can't. I look at the clock and it's 11 P.M already, I get up and sit on the bed, and every time I sit up from laying down, my stomach always hurt.
Something is definitely bothering my mind, my mind flashes back to what happened earlier, and the more I think about it, the more I feel bad about reacting that way, he has been nothing but good to me, and I had to hurt him by acting that way.
As a compensation, guilt is eating me alive.
I seriously need to go and apologize for him right now.
I change from my night gown into a t shirt and a long pants and open my room door slightly to see if anyone is walking in the hallway, and it's totally empty, great.
I get out from my room and begin wandering around, testing my luck to see if I can find him anywhere without meeting too many people.
When I walk around, I see one room slightly open, and it's a dim room, but a few people are chatting inside and I can hear his voice as well.
I gather my courage and open the door quietly, and when I get in, my presence is easily recognized, and in return, I recognize four men talking including Yuuto himself. There is also the blonde-haired woman from before sitting along with the men.
Two of the men look older and one look a bit younger, when Yuuto's gaze in on me, the rest look at me as well, and he definitely doesn't look happy with my presence here.
"Oh my, what a beautiful foreign lady, are you here to entertain us?" One of the older, shorter man say with a creepy grin on his face.
"Izumi, please." Yuuto speaks and the blonde-haired woman nods, as she stands up from her seat and approaches me, and both of us are out from the room as she stands in front of me, she closes the door and stare at me.
"They are having a very important meeting, if you still care for your self-worth, please, go to your room immediately."
Those words sound very sharp coming from her mouth even though she tries to speak as politely as possible, but maybe it's due to her stern expression and monotone way of talking, and she definitely has the vibe of someone you don't want to mess with.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know." She doesn't speak anything else as she opens the door again and gets into the room.
I sigh in defeat.
Maybe I should apologize to him tomorrow.