Juliana's pov:
Sitting down outside the backyard, I stared at the sky with a smile before my face was obscured in pain.
"You know this is not how the world is supposed to be," I smiled sadly as the sentence piqued my interest, causing my eyes to start tearing up.
Shutting my eyes, I blink back the tears before pulling them open. I gulped nervously before moving my eyes back to the sky.
"Have any one of you looked at the sky and hurt?"
The idea of looking at the sky and it felt like all of your problems are being displayed in front of you, and in that instant, I felt it.
The dullness of aches in the pit of my heart, the pain engraved within me. The pain of knowing that every day is going to be the same, that every day is going to be worse.
The tears that I was battling to blink back slid down my face wetting my cheeks, I smiled sadly with a heavy heart.
The incident that happened that previous day flooded my head, what Ryan did that very day dawned on me.
He stood by my side again, holding me, and even walked out from Bianca. He made me feel unusual and unique, the way I felt electric sparkles wherever he touches me.
The way that he carefully held my hands like he didn't want any bruises or injuries on my hands.
I know that I felt something for him but I don't know what exactly, I know that whatever I feel for him is more than lust.
I have this feeling that there is more to that because it seems strange to me, how can I always crave and desire him? Knowing well that he is a Lycan and the king of the whole werewolves, I still want him.
He is my doom but still, I crave his touch, everyone is against him because of me but still, I couldn't dare to let him go.
He is the air that I breathe, the way my body reacts to his every touch scares me.
No! I can't take chances, I can't allow what happened between Lucien and I to repeat itself ever again.
He made me fall cheaply for him without having any knowledge that he is fucking with my best friend more like my sister.
I fell for him without knowing that he was laying a trap and planning for my execution while I was sitting day in and day out thinking and dreaming of our everlasting love.
He made me act like a fool, he tortured me day and night without any break. He suppressed my wolf and hurt me badly, he doesn't deserve anything good in life.
My other mates reject me but Lucien's own hit me differently.
I didn't have an atom of feelings for others so the pain wasn't that deep but Lucien's own was distinct, it pierces thick inside my soul and slashes my heart so deep that till now the pieces haven't been glued together.
He shattered my heart into pieces that I am not ready to face another torture or to give any other man chance to mess with me.
I want to be left alone because I knew that someday I could die with them all cursing and laughing at me.
I felt a rustling sound behind me and I quickly wiped off my tears and pretended that I was just staring at the sky.
"Is pretty isn't it….?" I felt a presence beside me before Aria's voice sounded in my ears.
"Huh!" I mumbled confusedly.
"I mean the sky……… it is so beautiful that it got you glued to it," she teased but I am not in for her jokes.
Can't she get it? That I wanted to be left alone, I don't need her friendship nor do I want her around me.
I don't want something that I will regret later just as Juliet and Ariana did to me, they made me start having trust issues.
"Yeah is pretty…… suit yourself," I mumbled before turning to walk out but her words caught me off guard.
"Why have you been distancing yourself away from me since the incident?"
I swallowed at her words, what is she talking about? The incident…… doesn't she mean the day that she caught me almost changing to my beast form?
"I don't have any idea of whatever you are talking about," I denied with my back still on her.
"Hmmm…." She smiled before turning to face my back. "Then why have you been avoiding me?"
"Talk to me if it is not about that," I clenched my fists tight with my eyes shut. My heart was beating so fast that I could hear the erratic sound sprouting from it.
"You thought that distancing yourself away from me is the best?" She half-yelled, I clasped my palms so tight with my fist curled up.
"Speak up, Ashley, and stop avoiding me!"
Turning around with anger, I glared coldly at her before snapping "Isn't it obvious that I want to be left alone…..?"
"Left alone as in what?"
"I don't want your friendship or to have anything to do with you," I lashed.
"Why! But did I do something wrong?" She said in a faint voice.
"You are disturbing me! Plastering around me….."
"That I am distu…….. Disturbing you," she said with a cracking voice. The Sound hurt and pained me.
"Yes! You are…….. So stop stalking me and leave me the hell alone," I said with an icy tone.
"I…… I……. Just wanted to be your friend," tears have already clouded her sight.
"I saw you and wanted to befriend you," she confessed heartbrokenly.
"We can't be friends, Aria….."
"Why! Did I do anything wrong? I promise I will change," she pleads.
"We can't be friends, Aria…… just understand," I mumbled with pleading eyes for her to understand.
"Why?" Tears slid down her face.
"Aria just understand that, I meant no harm is just that……..
" That what exactly?" She cuts in.
"You won't understand, Aria," I half-whispered.
"Talk to me and stop telling me that I won't understand……. Just stopping what you won't understand is frustrating!!" She loudly screamed with pain.
"Why do you hate me so much? I just wanted to be close to you because you act and think differently from them all but you push me away," she cried out.
"I didn't hate you, Aria,"
"You are among the good people that I have meant here since my arrival and I promise I won't forget that……" I admitted.
"Stop that, Ashley!!" She whimpered.
"Nobody wants me around them," she kept letting it all out.
I stared at her with pain, if not that I was seeing hell.
What is a friendship that I couldn't give a try but with the type of thing that I went through, I am afraid to face another friendship? She seems nice but she doesn't know anything about me.
What will happen if she finds out about my true identity?
Could she still stand in front of me and say that she wants my friendship? That's it! I just don't want something that will hurt me and leave me shattered at the very end.
How do I explain to her that the person that she thinks she loves so much is the wanted beast lurking around the woods for some days?
How could she want my friendship when she doesn't even know my real name? My name is Juliana but here she is calling me Ashley.
"We can't be friends, Aria," I maintained the same icy tone.
"Why! Why! Tell me why, Ashley!!" Tears are heavily sprouting out of her eyes.
"You saw what happened that previous day, right?" I said with difficulty.
"Nothing happened the previous day, you were just weak, or could I say sick, and just needed your medicine," she thought, earning a sign of the cross from me.
"And with what is happening so far in the pack, it will do you more harm than good," I used another excuse.
I just wanted to find a way to dismiss her without hurting her feelings.
"About the king?" She asked with teary eyes.
"Yes!" I mumbled.
"They are just wasting their time, what matters is that the king loves you and I respect whatever you two share," she shrugged.
"I don't have anything to do with Ryan, mind you," I warned.
"You can't keep denying it forever, Ashley……. It is obvious that you two are fond of each other, I could feel this electric sparkle around you two whenever you guys are together," she confessed, making me uncomfortable.
"I….. I don't know what you are saying, just stay away from me," I stammered.
"Is that a way of dismissing me?"
"Just stay on your own, Aria. I didn't hate you but for some time please I need to be left alone…….. Is that also so hard for you to do?"
"Are you indirectly sending me away?"
"I said that I need to be left alone!!" I yelled impatiently.
"Fine! Some days won't hurt, just that it will be hard because you are the only one that I get to talk to here," she chuckled painfully.
"But it is better than declining the friendship," she feigned a smile.
I stared at her innocent round face and the way her bouncy red hair flowed down her back, half covering her face.
She seems nice but before I could react to her words, I heard a manly voice behind us startling me.
"Ashley!" We turned at the mention of my name, standing there is the same guard from the previous day.
I swallowed hard before exchanging a nervous look with Aria.
"The king requests your presence in his chamber," he announced, causing my heart to jump inside my stomach.
"The king……." I murmured with a trembling voice.