“Okay… he`s not that old he`s just two or three or four years max older than I am.”
I couldn’t even pretend to be calm anymore my little sister was hiring gigolos? “You know what I mean, why would you hire someone to have sex with you, period. Its a question not a nuclear bomb stop deflecting.”
“Okay look . . . I know it'll sound stupid stupid- heck it is stupid. they started calling me names.” She twiddled her fingers subconsciously as she said it and I tried my best to comprehend.
“Who is they?”
“The girls in my class, and some of the boys too. They were calling me . . .” She hesitated. “ . .Mary.”
“Huh? That`s not an insult that`s a great name, is it possible that some one mispronounce your name and they got confused?” I tried to wrap my head around it.
“No Cat. Mary as in the virgin Mary. Most of the girls in my class are hooking up with boys and rubbing it in my face like no guy wants to have sex with me or I'm some sort of freak and that I`d die a virgin?”
I controlled the urge to reminding her that she was fourteen and didn’t need to be part of the first things in her mind, not even the twenty. I was quite sure my friends and I thought that boys were gross at fourteen or was it four? And what`s so bad with dying a virgin? Was I overreacting?
“Oh sweetie . . . you know that's not true.”
“Of course I don’t if I did I wouldn't use my entire savings to have a failed sexcapade. Thanks alot by the way.”
“You were crying and telling him to stop Emma and he didn’t.”
“Because I told him not to stop no matter what!”
“ That is dangerous Emma, don’t ever do that again.”
I finally gave up the pretence of understanding.
“You can`t tell me what I can`t and can do. Stop acting like my mom you`re not!” By now she had gotten on her feet in the dimly lit corridor, her hands balled into fists by her sides with her eyes shining from un shed tears. Her voice cracked as she continued. “ And you have no right to judge me. Both of our lives are going down the hill so focus on your own shit and stop trying to mom me.”
I rose up slightly taller than her with the urge to throttle her but we both were relieved when my arms wrapped around her body instead of her throat. It took less than two seconds for Emma to fall back in to my arms and return the hug holding me tighter than I would have thought possible. But the fact that I may suffocate and die didn’t matter cause for the first time since my father`s death my sister was embracing me. We definitely don`t have it figured out but at least now we know what it is we are trying to figure. “We`ll be okay.” I desperately tried to believe the words I repeated to my sister as a stroke deer hair.
I shut the freezer with my foot trying not to let the tubs of ice cream I was carrying on both hands. Taking advantage of the fact that the crazy woman we live with is off to be wherever it is she goes most of the time my sister and I were doing a little reunion party staring us, TV, pjs and ice cream.
“Expired vanilla and strawberry swirl for you mi`lady and expired plain chocolate for me.” I said placing them on what you could call the center table that had a single armed chair to the left adjacent to the front door, a couch opposite the chair and a three seater which directly faced the partially working TV behind it.
As she beat the TV that has to be older than our grandma-thanks to the fact that she sold our flat screen-I went back into the kitchen to get spoons for expired ice cream. Me calling them that was no joke. The witch bought almost expired things or expired things for he freezer cause she gets it for a low or no court at all. Weirdly enough most of them are still quite alright even after the label says it has expired three months ago.
I went back to the living room with the tools and sat on the three-seater next to her seeing that she had managed to get the TV on.
At first we ate and watched in silence for the first few minutes until Emma said.
“Wanna talk about your . . . job?”
“Nope I said decidedly?”
“Why not?” she pouted.
Before I could reply with a mirage of reasons why it wasn’t appropriate or up for discussion. My phone rang. It was closer to Emma picked it up probably intending to hand it to me but her hand stopped abruptly and her eyes lingered curiously at the screen.
“Who is green heart, red heart, white heart, black heart, and literally all the heart emojis that ever existed.”
Oh shit, Adrian. Why did I save his contact like some love sick highschooler. Maybe I did feel that way, hear me out, I can`t help that he brings out that side of me, I am in love I should get a free pass for every stupid thing I do. I'm sure its somewhere in the rules of Ruination By Love. I grabbed my phone from her and ran into the kitchen to answer the call.
Okay act cool. I reminded myself before answering.
“Hey whats up.” Came his amazing voice.
“Whats up? Of course I know whats up. I'm in my PJ chilling taking ice cream that was just manufactured last week.” Shit Cathy too much information.
“Oh . . . I didn’t realize you were taking a trip or something. I uh . . .” he hesitated long enough for me to process that he actually thought I meant Private Jet- as if I`ve been in one, sure someone once landed in the school with a private jet. I didn’t bother to correct him. Can`t help if I'm trying to impress him. I was convinced I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I didn’t lie. Its not my fault he assumed it.
“What is it?” I prodded.
“Nothing its just the football practice starts in like five and I thought well . . .” He stopped to yell something to someone over the noise background
Oh shit, I forgot I was so caught up with Emma and our moments of confession that I forgot to be at the love of my life`s practice.