“In case you have forgotten.” My voice was shaky as I spoke. “ I have somewhere to be the night before. Somewhere I cannot cancel.”
“You wont. Let me drop you off.”
My spine had melted and I couldn't even summon a disagreement as I followed him to his Benz. I knew it was a Benz cause of the logo otherwise I knew shit about cars.
I was about to open the door to then passenger seat then he stopped my hand on the handle, his hand was warm and firm over mine. He pulled my hand away and then opened the door and held it open. Apart from that one time when I was six and wearing my new tiara for my ballet recital, I had never felt more like a princess as I he helped me into the passenger seat. I knew with out question that my cheeks were flaming hot. Ironic that a stripper should be blushing at such a small gesture, I know. But it was a small but heart melting gesture that guys seem to have forgotten exits.
Thankfully he said nothing about my obvious situation. During the short drive home it was as though I had swallowed my tongue so the drive was a silent one. It didn’t click in my head till after we got to my house and he had driven away that I never gave him my address.
I rushed inside hoping my stepmother wasn’t around to see him drop me and headed to my bedroom with full intentions of imitating a Cinderella dance then I saw my sister in the corridor adjoining the rooms on the floor and sobbing. Enough was fucking enough I need to know what was going on now.
I dropped my stuff right there on the floor.
“Emma.”
She stood up and made to leave. “Emma!” I yelled this time in anger. She stopped frozen, I had never used that kind of tone with her.
“I am going to ask you some questions and you had better answer me.”
She didn’t give a response but she wasn’t walking away anymore. I think I could work with that.
“Are you pregnant.” I felt like it was the most difficult one so I had to get it off my chest.
“TF no.” She seemed appalled.
“Are you still a virgin?”
“Are you?” She seemed to have regained her composure as she shot back at me.
“What?”
“Don`t act all innocent, I saw the car you just got out of. You think I don’t notice you are never at home at nights? Are you a hooker now Cat?” Her voice cracked as she asked the last question and I knew I shouldn't have kept all of these away from her.
I slid to the ground and sat legs crossed and patted the space next to me inviting her to sit. It was time to clear the air.
“Remember when mum would be sick and then she`d spend as much time as she could away from us, not cause she didn’t want us to catch whatever she had but cause she didn’t want us to be worried.”
“Or she`d ship us off to aunt Miranda in California till she got better.” Emma added and I felt a wave of nostalgia
I smiled. “I rather liked California,”
“Me too, and then she died and we lost our last relative, but I don’t think we are sitting on the floor to talk about California.”
It was obvious Emmie didn’t want to go down memory lane. I sighed. “I wished we still had a California I could send you to, away from all of it.” Emma offered no response waiting for me to continue.
“I'm not sleeping with men for money. Not that she`s not trying to make me. I'm doing it so she`ll leave you out. I work in a strip club Emma. As a stripper.” I added as if that would change the blank expression on her face.
“To answer your redirected question. Yes, I am a virgin. I hate the job. But I don’t have a choice. Worse, my grades are in the crapper. If this keeps up, I'm not going to graduate, and I`ll end up being an actual prostitute this time but I would do it if she`d just leave you alone. I swear Emmy I would.” By the time I got to the last sentence I was a sobbing pile of mess.
Emma looked at me teary eyed. “Why didn’t you tell me. All this time I thought you were out there living your best life. I'm sorry I had no idea.”
“My best life?” I couldn’t hold back a pained huff. “I didn’t tell you cause I wanted to protect you from all of this I just wish that things could go back to the way it used to be.”
“I am a virgin too.” she sighed out loud. “ Not for lack of trying though.”
“Why?”
“Why am I a virgin or why am I trying to lose it?”
“Why are you trying to? Not the judgy kind of why though, I just want to know. Its totally your decision when you are old enough, I just want to know what the rush is. Not that I feel like you are rushing-”
“Woah, woah, slow down, you`re doing your awkward chatter thing.”
“Sorry.” I mumbled barely believing that I'm the one feeling awkward in this situation. Or more awkward in any case. Emma has always been good at hiding what she felt unless she wanted you to see it.
“I know what it looked like the other day in my bed room and I think I should clarify that first. I wasn’t getting raped. I used all my piggy bank- yes I still have my piggy bank- and paid him to have sex with me.”
“What? Why the hell would you do that?”
“I had to give him all my money cause he was expensive, and understandably so honestly, he is a senior and a jock, terrible grades but have you seen the booty on that guy?
”Emmie!”
“ What? I cant help but look”
“Stop acting dumb Emma you know what I mean. Why would you pay an older guy to have sex with you?”