“If I've been on your mind, you hang on every word I say, lose yourself in time, at the mention of my name. Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close? And have you tell me whichever road I choose; you'll go?" -Adele
Five years ago…
My mind was so much like the ocean, watching for the incoming ship, calm on the surface with so many deep under currents, all of them with their own purpose. Being a 'watcher' was the perfect job for a daydreamer like me and if I must suffer cold feet and numb fingers through the winter months, it was a price worth paying.
They thought I was a fool to wait like I do every chance I get eyes set to the horizon, arms resting on the cold metal rail. But the way I saw it they were missing the greatest mysteries of life as they chase the mundane and trip over the details of existence. Waiting here gave me time to let my mind escape the boundaries of the ordinary, to think beyond the ordinary, to think beyond the offerings of modern media. I pondered the threads that bind one person to another and the wounds that separate.
There were certain questions that hadn't left my mind since last week when Ethan gave me time to ponder over the thought of marrying Xavier.
Was I brave enough to sacrifice my dreams, my life for my family?
Frankly, at this point of time, I didn't know.
I was waiting for my 'way-ting', some guidance of a direction to move in. I guess that's what I had to learn, that for all the chance-making I needed to do.
The past week wasn't the peaceful one, Ethan was ignoring me as Xavier and I got into a fight two days ago which hadn't ended on a good note and since then he was ignoring me too.
Today is the wedding day and currently my stylists were finishing their work on me. The wedding dress complimented my completion and the few tendrils peeking out of my bun framed my face, adequately.
Everything looked perfect, my hair, the dress, the makeup, except the eyes. They weren't their usual enthusiastic ones rather they looked hollow, however I tried but they looked the same.
While I was getting ready, "You look stunning," someone complimented from behind. Looking at the source's reflection, a wave of emotions struck my head when I looked at Ethan, dressed in a royal blue tuxedo, his grey eyes and a heart-melting smile.
"Thank you," I mumbled, staring at my reflection in the mirror.
His eyes switched to my stylists, and he asked, "I think she's all set, will you all please give us a moment?" Being a gentleman as always.
The head of the stylist’s team nodded, saying, "Well, the bride is partially ready, she need to wear her jewelry and-"
"I'll help her." Said Ethan, cutting her in between to which she nodded and then she along with her team left my room.
Once we were alone, he walked towards me and pulled out his hand to slide his fingers down my cheek.
"I want your answer, Eve." Said Ethan, leaning towards me, "The week is over, and I can't watch the girl whom I love marrying someone else."
My heart skipped a beat, I have never felt this strong desire to be with someone before, everything about him lured me in, his smile, his personality, his charismatic looks and I couldn't help myself but fall for him.
Wait, did he just say the girl he loves?
Woah! Woah…
"You l-love me?" The question slipped my mouth in the form of a stuttered sentence as his lips were inches away from mine and his delicious scent was encircling me.
"Of course, I do, can you not see it in my eyes and I'm telling you baby girl, that man would never divorce you. I have known him for years and he is a leech. He is so manipulative that he would make you fall in love with him and leave everything that matters to you behind." Said Ethan, gritting his teeth.
"He knows that I don't love him, and I made it clear to him." I told him, caressing the side of his cheek, lovingly.
"Did he say he would divorce you?" Asked Ethan.
"We haven't-"
"Exactly, and he would never ever talk about it, baby girl. You'll be stuck in this contract-marriage forever and when you will be fifty years old, you'll think about this moment. Don't let it go, Evelyn." Said Ethan, holding my face in between his hands while our foreheads were touching each other.
"Everybody is waiting for you, Angel. Are you ready?" Marcus said, knocking the door.
Once again, I was torn between following my heart's desire and my duty, there was a storm of emotions bubbling inside my heart as I pushed Ethan, saying, "I need to go." Trying to move out of his hold but he kept me firmly attached to his body.
"Don't, baby girl, I love you, you deserve the best and not a loser like him." Ethan groaned in annoyance, while confessing his undying love for me.
"Why can't you understand Ethan?! I have to go!" I retorted, jerking myself away from him before I lost it.
"Evelyn!" He called my name again, but I had opened the door by now as my brother and father were waiting for me outside as I haven't invited any of my friends to this unwanted marriage.
Lost in my misery, I didn't even realize when I reached the aisle in front of my soon to be husband who was admiring me as some tears gathered in his eyes which he obviously tried to hide, and I saw it before he hid them. He was wearing a deep green tuxedo, complimenting his marvelous forest greens, crinkling with a strange glee.
The ceremony was being started, we stood facing each other as the officiant uttered some phrases which obviously weren't interesting to me as it was about how marriage is the bond of seven life's and something like that.
It was now the time to exchange vows, and Xavier Knight prepared a whole chapter for me about how he would cherish me and respect my choices…blah...blah...blah!
The whole time I neglected my urge to roll my eyes and his words didn't look like he would happily divorce me after the transfer of shares, Ethan was right, he was really a leech. Now, it was the time for me to speak my vows which obviously I didn't have, I looked at my brother who was already looking at me with an emotion that said to speak my vows.
Taking a deep breath, I looked into Xavier's eyes, his eyes had an effect on me which I could never explain…they had such a kind of innocence, the warmth in them which one could never be able to ignore.
"Today I say, ‘I do’ but to me that means, ‘I will’. I will take your hand and stand by your side in the good and the bad. I dedicate myself to your happiness, success, and smile... because today I accept you as my husband."
By the time I was done, the crowd erupted in loud cheers and smiles, and when I looked back at Xavier, he was wiping his tears and a smile took over his features.
When the officiant asked me if I accepted him as my husband, it took all my courage not to run away, for a minute second my eyes flickered to then standing behind Xavier as his best-man, Ethan Forbes, who had a huge scowl on his face.
Shifting my gaze to Xavier, "I do." I said, accepting my fate and passing a faint smile.
"You may kiss the bride now." Declared officiant and I froze.
I might have married him, but I wasn't the kind of girl to let any man kiss me. I closed my eyes when he leaned down, Xavier might have seen my uneasiness and that was the reason he placed a kiss on my forehead rather than kissing me on the lips. The crowd erupted in loud cheers, whistles and wishes as barely visible tears trailed down my cheeks.
Evelyn Williams wasn't Williams now; she had accepted her fate and became Evelyn Knight tonight.