Sometimes I really wonder, is there really some kind of deity up above us who decides our fate? We have heard of a presence named God who has created all this around us and what we see but there is no solid proof, is there? There is a reason behind everything that happens in our life and I like to believe that it happens only because of our actions.
I am not saying that I don't believe in God, I do but sometimes it becomes hard when the faith, you believe will make it all right, fails in helping you out and when the hope you lean on makes you more hopeless. You lose your trust from the most trustworthy figure in your life, God.
I don't know whether I was losing hope or faith, but I was surely letting my reason to live this life slowly slip away from my fingers. You can only take so much after you lose yourself.
I watched as the rain kept on raging throughout the night, I watched as the moon hid under the dark clouds only to resurface again, I watched as the sky turned from pitch black to a lighter shade of blue every time I blinked my eyes, I watched as my room lighted up as the sun rose and I watched as my bedroom door opened and my best friend with dark circles under her eyes entered sheepishly and laid beside me on my bed.
Both of us stared up at the fluorescent stars on the ceiling, deep in our thoughts. I expected it to be awkward since we rarely ever fought with each other but I forgot that the circumstances which brought us together not only built our relationship but bonded us too.
You would never expect a stranger to come forward and help you at the time of a crisis but that was how Liza was and that was how she found me.
"Let's run away" I wondered whether my whisper was audible enough for Liza to hear.
"I know the perfect place," Liza whispered back as she turned her face towards me.
******
The meadow looked as peaceful as always. I wondered how this small patch of heaven was not affected by the chill in the air. The lake was crusted with ice and the meadow surrounding it was covered with snow. Small icicles were hanging from the bare trees in the corners of the beautiful heaven. They shined softly in the sunlight, relishing the warmth and dripping with happy drops of water.
I took slow and steady steps in the ice, afraid to fall in its mushy traps. Liza took out the skating boots as we reached the lake, ready to take a joyride in the lap of nature.
The lake was quite huge, with its reach stretching inside the forest, like a small stream of a mysterious getaway. When we first reached forks we used to get lost a lot. The same road, the same bushes, and the same snow, shrouding the surroundings in a cover, used to puzzle us. In one of such incidents, we accidentally found this heavenly abode.
From then onwards it has been kind of like our secret, our happy place, our getaway.
The sharp, swift sound of the skating boots slicing the ice, seemed like the most calming sound ever. The wind hit my face as I tried to skate faster. My nose was freezing from the cold but nevertheless, this moment was too precious to let go.
I heard as Liza silently crept towards me, but what I did not expect was the strong push that came from Liza. I screamed so loudly that I was afraid the thin sheet of ice glass would break underneath.
"Liza! It's not fair!" I laughed as she made funny faces at me and went towards the edge of the lake to take up a pile of snow and throw it towards me.
"Everything is fair in love and war, Rosie! And I call dibs on war!" She gave out a funny battle cry and started throwing more snowballs at me.
I ducked a few attacks but got hit anyway. Our squeals and laughter echoed in the winter air. The weather was freezing, but my heart had never felt so warm before. It felt like ages since I had a genuine smile on my face full of happiness. Maybe life was not that bad after all.
"And this is for keeping secrets from me!" Liza laughed as she gave out the most ridiculous battle cry ever. I expected the impact to be minimal, but I guess it was really time to join the gym after all. I landed with a big thud on the cold ice glass and gave out a small yelp of pain.
I did not miss the small hint of sadness and betrayal she felt when she said those words.
Liza ran towards me with a worried expression on her face.
"Rosie are you okay? I-I am so sorry! I didn't mean to... I feel so b-"
"I am sorry Liza." My head hung low with guilt as a lone tear dropped from my eye and landed on the ice, freezing into an ice itself.
"Hey, Rosie it's okay, you...don't have to be sorry. My dumb ass is always very pushy and selfish... I should not have said those words... I-I should have supported you in your hard time instead." She sighed and looked at me with her baby blue eyes.
"You are my best friend Liza and you have every right to be angry on me, to kick me and tell me I am wrong and shout at me when I ignore you but will you trust me if I tell you that some things are better left unsaid?" I took her hand in mine and looked at her with pleading eyes.
"Yeah...yeah, I trust you, but I am afraid that it'll be too late when you will understand your mistakes."
***
The last rays of sunlight painted the clear sky in deep hues of orange. The bare trees loomed in the background like caged souls stretching their hands towards freedom. The snow glistened like sparks of diamond in the sunlight as if they have never felt such happiness before.
With my spirits uplifted and my everlasting smile, I was sure that nothing can ruin the day, but these moments can get lost in time like tears in rain.
Liza and I went to the front porch and found a thick Manila envelope. My heart started beating like a horse running from the hunters. Liza picked it up and turned the envelope once or twice to find the details of the sender and the receiver.
"This package is for me...from my grandfather." Liza's forehead was creased as she tried to understand the situation.
We got inside and Liza made her way towards her room. I decided to give her some space and cook dinner for both of us.