Ethan's POV
To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I was beyond shocked.
When Michael told me his friend Alex looked like me, it hadn't surprised me that much. But now after seeing the photos and knowing Alex is his brother, I don't know what to say. Why did his brother look so much like me ?
I took a courageous step today, not only just to get disappointed but also to get shocked beyond the limits.
Imagine your crush brother zoning you when to finally confess. My case was so worse than that.
Anyway I had only a very little hope that Michael would accept my confession. I of course expected a rejection. But I couldn't help but tell my feelings to him. I was feeling suffocated the whole time I was at home. I couldn't take his face out of my mind.
And I was once again clear about my feelings towards him after I jerked myself off in the bathroom thinking about him. I was thinking about his perfect plump lips and tasting them. I'm sure it'd taste really sweet. Then his baby blue eyes, kissing them shut so that he won't look at me with that and make me totally crazy. His dimples, I wanted to ask him to smile and then kiss and suck endlessly over those dimples. His clear neck, I wanted to kiss him there. His long fingers, what would be the feeling when those long fingers wrap around my cock ?
Now I'm sure I'm not straight. I'm fucking gay for Michael. I never had such fantasies about anyone before. Honestly this is the first time I'm thinking such weird things. And the rejection was making me feel extremely sad and angry.
And then I was feeling extremely worried thinking he was alone at dorm. And at night I woke up dreaming my bully friends bullying him and Michael cutting his wrist again.
Although they were all expelled from school, I couldn't help but think about them climbing the back wall at night and knocking on Michael's room door. I was relieved only after calling Michael and hearing his voice. Actually I wasn't totally relieved. I was still worried whether he was alright. But today morning I thoroughly checked him out and there's no new cuts or anything, if at all he doesn't cut his thighs and chest.
I had thought about telling Michael sorry and leaving if he rejects me. But when he actually did that, I got angry and accused him that he actually likes me. I don't know why I acted like that at that moment. I couldn't accept the rejection. I couldn't bear to lose him.
But after seeing the pics, I didn't know what to do. I just quickly apologized him and ran out of his room.
I ignored him the whole day after that. We had Calculus second hour. Michael was already in class when I reached and there were empty chairs on his right and left. But I walked to the extreme back and sat down. At lunch I told Gavin that my Mom packed me lunch but I left it at dorm, So I will go get it and then join them. But I didn't join them and I didn't have lunch cause there was no such lunch.
Now it's almost 8 PM and I'm alone in my room, lying on my bed, thinking about Michael. I can't still take him off of my mind. Now I'm thinking about him even more. His Baby blue eyes doesn't leave me alone. It's making me crazy.
Between I'm alone cause Gavin went to Michael's dorm. He said he and Grace are partners in physics lab and so he is gonna go discuss with her, the experiment they are gonna do tomorrow. He also invited me to join him but I said I had works.
Suddenly the door clang open. I quickly shot up from bed. It was none else that Gavin. Shit ! I told him I had works and I'm simply lying on bed.
Gavin frowned at me whilst walking inside. " I think you said you had works.", he said.
" I was taking a break.", I said.
" I see. But why don't I see any books on the desk or bed or anywhere ?"
" I just put them back in the shelf.", I said running a hand through my hair.
"Hmm....Ethan, so you like Nate but he rejected you and now you are ignoring him, right ?", Gavin asked.
Ahh..shit ! They both together might have questioned Michael and poor Michael might have told everything. Grace had already doubts that there's something wrong between us. She asked me morning whether there's any problem between me and Michael. I then told 'No' but she wasn't looking convinced.
" Michael told ??", I asked Gavin.
He chuckled. " Why you call him Michael instead of just calling him Nate ?"
" Ahmm...he told me to call him Michael.", I said already starting to feel irritated by the questioning.
" Cause his late brother Alex used to call him that and you literally looks like him and Nate see him in you. ", Gavin added. So Michael told them literally everything and might have also shown them the photos of Alex.
I huffed a sigh and fell back on my bed feeling frustrated. Why the hell his brother had to look like me ? If I knew this earlier, I wouldn't have agreed to call him Michael. I would have just continued calling him Nate. Okay, I'm gonna call him Nate like everyone else from tomorrow onwards.
Wait ! Why do I have to call him by a name first of all ? Cause I'm just gonna ignore him this whole year. Isn't that what I decided earlier?
" So are you giving up Ethan ?", Gavin asked sitting down on his bed. I didn't reply anything.
" What if his brother looked like you ? You aren't his brother, right ?", Gavin said.
I slowly sat up on my bed. So is Gavin supportive of me liking Michael ? I thought he didn't like the idea of me dating a boy.
" What do you mean ?", I asked.
" I mean you still can try and make him fall for you.", Gavin said.
" Did you see his brother's pic ? Doesn't he look like the photocopy of me ?", I asked.
" Yeah..I saw. He really looks like you. But so what ? And I think therefore it's easy for you to make him fall for you.", he said and started unbuttoning his new shirt he wore to Grace's dorm.
I was looking at Gavin intently while thinking about what he just said. What if it was Michael who was sitting there and unbuttoning his shirt ? How would his body look like ?
" Hey dude, you don't have such feelings for me, right ? I'm straight like a line.", Gavin said on seeing me staring at him.
I averted my gaze. " I don't feel anything looking at you. Don't worry Gavin.", I said.
" So Nate is the first boy you are feeling attracted to ?", he asked.
" Yeah..", I nodded.
" Woah..! Never felt like that to any other boy ? So it's now you figured out you are bi ?", he asked. I just nodded again.
" That's unusual.", Gavin scrunched his eyebrows. " Okay, see whether you feel anything looking at me.", he said and took his shirt completely off of his body, revealing his perfect chiselled abs to me. Then he stood up from his bed, and walked a little towards me, so that I can look at him properly.
I sighed. What is he up to ?
Anyway I looked at his body. He had really nice six pack abs and toned biceps. Not to mention the V shaped indentation. His tanned body was impressive, broad shoulders and small waist. He has a perfect body. I want it !
" Dude, what do you feel looking at me ?", he asked me.
" I feel jealous that you have more nicer body than me.", I replied.
" Oh..?", he looked surprised for a moment. Then he chuckled. " I honestly think your body is better than mine."
" No..your's is better.", I said, my eyes lingering on his chest and abs.
" So..anyway.. basically you are saying, you aren't feeling those types of feelings looking at me.", he said.
" C'mon..I always see guys shirtless during football practice. I don't feel anything at all.", I said.
" Okay, then next step. Touch.", he said and walked closer to me. I sighed. Is he having fun playing with me ?
Gavin stood at an inches distance from me and I think now my heart has started beating a little faster. " Touch my abs and say if you feel anything.", he said.
I took my palm and placed it over his abs. " Woah..! It's hard. Nice abs you got.", I involuntarily said roaming my hands on his lower abdomen.
" Ahh..I'm disappointed.", Gavin said shaking his head and moving away.
" Uhm..what happened?", I asked.
" C'mon..you aren't gay man. It's not the way you'd have touched me if you are gay. Even your face doesn't reveal any expression.", Gavin scoffed.
" But I'm always thinking about Michael's lips and eyes and neck and all. Why so ?", I asked.
He chuckled. " You might be Natesexual.", he said and walked towards his cupboard.
Natesexual ?
" Between have you thought about him giving you a blow job ?", he asked opening his cupboard.
" Blowjob ?? Uhm...his sweet lips are to be pressed on my lips. Not on my ugly dick I guess. Maybe I'll give him a blowjob.", I said.
" Oh my Gosh ! Cheesy ! ", Gavin said and laughed taking out a t-shirt from the cupboard. "Ethan, you have already gone crazy for him. "
" Yeah..I'm kinda crazy.", I agreed.
" So what are you doing ? I don't think you are giving up so fast.", he said wearing the T-shirt and going back to searching for a shorts or something.
" What you say ? What shall I do ?", I asked.
" Surely go for it man. I'm sure he will soon fall for you.", he replied.
" So I should start thinking about ways to win his heart instead of ignoring him.", I mused.
" Exactly. ", Gavin said jumping on his one feet as he was now taking off his tight jeans.
" Yup ! I'm not giving up so fast."
Maybe I can make Michael fall for me. He definitely can't be fully straight. And like Gavin said, maybe the fact that I look like his brother would actually help me. Let me try.
Oh..there's history tomorrow and we both have to sit together since we are partners, right ? And then there's arts.
Michael, I'm after you. Just wait till tomorrow morning.