Forgive me.
~Vincenzo~
Maybe it was best when she pulled away from me because I was so close in fûcking her right there. Fûck, my dîck was willing to do it.
But her soft lips pulled away from mine. I tried to go in again but she turned her head and made my lips fall on her cheek. I gave her a soft peak on it and then pulled back slightly.
Her hands fell down to my neck and somewhat my shoulder, but I stared deep into her eyes. My eyes roamed around her face and then they would land on her lips and then back to her eyes. Fûck. Call me lucky. Call me a golden man, because that's how I feel right now looking at Mai.
"I...I don't know if I forgive you yet Vincenzo." Her hand was about to fall from my skin but I quickly placed my hand on top of hers, "I wasn't expecting you too, but I was hoping you would." I said.
She looked down and stared down at her thighs, "I fell for you too." She whispered. It was so soft and fûck, I think I have to leave the room because clearly, it's hard for me to not have love with her here. I held back the groan and I had to shift on the bed slightly because I was growing uncomfortable. I needed to get out of here, but fûck my needs.
She pulled her hand back and I couldn't hold her back. Her hand slipped through mine and mine fell on my lap. She pushed back a piece of strand out of her face and I wanted to show her it was okay to forgive me, give me another chance. Show her that he's gone and he won't come for her anymore. His soul is permanently branded into my hands. She can not have fear for someone who is dead.
"He's not-"
"Can you leave?" she said softly.
"Ma-"
"Please." She looked up at me and my face fell blank.
I didn't say anything but only got up and quickly made my way towards to the door. I wanted to slam the door shut. I wanted to shoot myself in the foot to avoid this pain, but I walked down the hallway and towards to my room and closed the door softly behind me and looked at my empty bed.
*****
I was staring at the ceiling hoping this was a dream and I was in the other room with her and holding her close to myself, but when I would blink and the fan above me kept spinning the same speed, I knew I was only fooling myself about the dream.
How do you deal with this type of emptiness? Is there a secret that other people know, which I don't?
I grabbed the pillow next to me and placed it over my face and groaned loudly in it. Time was ticking slowly and I think I was laying here for a good two hours, imaging every way I could be with her right now. She told me she loved me too, but she also told me she was afraid of me.
Should I be listing to the part she loved me? Or to the part that she was afraid of me? Maybe she was afraid of me in the beginning? Hopefully.
I threw the pillow off of my face and stood up. It was two in the morning and I made my way out of my room and down the hall towards her. I gave her enough time to herself. She even had time to herself when I killed Vlad, What more does she wants?
My strides were big and long towards her room. The light was off when I made my way in, but oh well.
My room is dark too Mai.
I walked towards her and she was sound asleep. I looked at her heart monitor and it was steady. I unplugged it and I had to think if she needed the fluid running from the IV fluid running down in her veins. James said she was fine, she already got her blood and she just needed rest right?
Well, she's resting in my room tonight.I grabbed her hand and started to pull out the wires and needles and placed and them right next to her. She was still asleep, and I gently grabbed her legs and grabbed her her shoulder. I rolled her onto her side and gently picked her up. The hall light was on and I hoping the light won't wake her. She moaned slightly and stirred around in my arms and ended up laying on my chest. I smiled softly and made my way to my room. I closed the door behind me softly and walked over to the bed. I gently placed her on and then tucked her in. I then quickly made my way to the other side and quickly got in and under the covers, pulling her closer to my chest.
My hand brushed her hair down as she slept on my chest. My chest warmed up as I felt her breathing slightly on me. Her hand was gently holding me, and I gently placed a kiss on top of her head. I watched her sleep and my thoughts were roaming around.
I didn't think to fall in love with cause you pain, How does a mafia man know about love? I didn't know if you wanted love you had to go through pain, and I didn't think if wanted love you had to learn how to change.
Oh please help Mai with this.
*****
Her finger was trying peal off my fingers from her back but it only caused me to bring her closer and hold her tighter. I still had my eyes closed, but she woke me up when she was pinching my hand to make it move. "You need rest," I said in my morning voice.
It was deep and it sounded awful in my ears but I guess it sounded different in hers since her skin formed goosebumps. "Yeah, but not in this room," she said as she tried to move my arm again.
"I'm the boss of your doctor, I can change what room you rest in, and I say mine. Now, rest." I placed my chin above her head and tried to go back asleep but she wasn't having it.
"I liked the other room."
"I didn't, Stop now. Please."
"Vincenzo." She whined.
"Don't say my name like that," I said.
"Vincenzo please." She whined again, and I moved my head from over hers and looked at her eyes. She stared at me and I said, " say it again and I'll be making that whine into a pleading whine when my head is in between your legs. Stop. Rest." I quickly gave her a peak when her mouth fell open and then placed my chin back where I had it.
She mumbled something but I didn't understand it. She then sighed and then laid limp next to me. I was so close to falling back asleep and then she said, "I'm not tired."
Damn it Mai.