Xavier grinned as he noticed that Jasmine was also smiling.
A tear rolled down her cheek, yet she laughed hard and Xavier joined her.
She didn't need to say a word because he fully understood. He had been right beside her literally through the whole rollercoaster.
First, it was uncertainty, confusion, fear that had plagued them as Maya's disappearance had left everyone with a huge question mark.
Then Melissa had come along with her huge discovery that had introduced hope, anxiety, and excitement that had made individuals who don't have a fighting bone in their body decide to go into the devil's camp to save Maya themselves.
Even Brian had come along, Xavier remembered shaking his head, laughing even more.
And when Mr. Dominic had gotten his claws on Melissa, the anxiety was back. Jasmine could see the end of it all. She could tell Xavier knew that there will be no way out of the dungeon anymore.
The certified psycho not noticing them sneaking out of the room was pure luck even with her pounding heart that almost looked like it could give her away.
Then they had both watched Maya take a bullet without thinking twice, so sure about losing her life.
"She had not even thought of the designer bags she had hardly worn," Jasmine mumbled jokingly, her eyes expressing just how vulnerable she had been.
He didn't know why, but somehow Maya's disappearance had hit her the hardest amongst others.
Melissa shook her head at them, she was surprised she was still alive more than anything. She had been livid with anger and fueled with so much adrenaline but now when she thought of all she had done, the crazy ifs that would have made their stunt end with a black outfit made her shiver.
A doctor with a way too friendly smile, like he was trying to convince himself more than the world that he loved his job, walked towards them.
"How is Maya?" He was already standing up and walking to meet the doctor midway.
He gave him a grin, "She just regained consciousness."
"Who is Xavier?"
Jasmine rolled her eyes, of course, Maya had to seek after a man when she woke up from a near-death accident.
She'll excuse her from the sister's code lecture because the shitty condition she was in couldn't even allow her to open her mouth and start a baseless lecture.
Besides, she didn't want to argue with her, she wanted to hug her so tight. Feel her body against hers, have her Rolling her eyes and muttering that she was dramatic and she had not risen from the dead, anything to convince her this was not a dream.
She was back, really back.
***
Xavier stared at Maya who looked as pale as death, hovering at the door even as he closed it behind him.
"Jesus, I'm too weak to rape you, don't you think, come a bit closer?"
He did.
His gaze flickered to hers and he held them even as he sat next to her and held her hand.
He had counted every day since she had been gone, found himself talking to a space while cooking pasta, imagining she was there, he had slept with her thought in his mind and woke up thinking of her honey brown eyes yet, the moment he was next to her, words felt cheap.
He didn't want to say a damn word, because it didn't feel like any construction of them will be sufficient. He can't say he misses her terribly, that will be the biggest understatement of the year.
He couldn't say he thought of her every day, that will be a lie. Because the thought of her became his day. It wasn't a fleeting moment, it was constant.
He didn't think of her every day like he had other things doing and then once in a while she pops up. The thought of her made his day. She hovered in his thought without constraint no matter how hard he tried to snap out of the spell of thinking of her.
He didn't want to tell her how sorry he was, he didn't get to her on time, he felt like just saying the words were silly, he wanted to show it to her. Express remorse that somehow he had been the reason why she had been exposed to his monstrous father yet he had dozed off some nights while she must be groaning in total pain.
"Won't you say anything?" Her voice was little but he knew it belonged to her. That was all that matters.
"Don't ever take my bullets, Maya." He found himself replying.
"Why?" She sharply asked, "I'll do what I want to do!"
"Ain't you scared of death, huh? Do you want your friends to castrate me? Do you think a gun wound is a joke and this is a comedy series? Do you think life has a duplicate or do you have nine lives? Do__"
She placed her finger over his lip, he almost jumped at the contact but remained in that position not wanting her hand to leave his lips. It felt good to have her feverish skin against his.
"You are talking but you are not saying anything I can understand. Why don't you want me taking your bullets, Xavier?"
"Because I'd have died a thousand death if anything had happened to you because when you left breathing became stressful to me and living was a war because I don't understand the tightening in my chest when I looked for you with my eyes at home and then remembered you had somehow vanished into thin air."
She didn't say a word just watched him.
"I don't want to be your friend Maya." He continued, watching her reaction.
She remained silent.
"Because I know that the way my heart clenches at the thought of losing you can't just be fear of losing a friend. We are friends too but we are more than just that and I'll be a hypocrite if I convinced myself that is all there is between us."
He had not thought of this. He had not planned to say all this to a girl who had just survived a bullet wound. A woman who had taken his bullet but he knew in his heart even as he paced at work and couldn't concentrate that he needed to tell Maya how he felt as soon as possible.
"What are you trying to say, Xavier?"
"I care about you and I want things to work out between us better. I want to date you, I want to take you out, visit fancy restaurants with you and watch your eyes lit up."
Her lips trembled and he knew he had gone too far.
There was only too little a girl could handle in a day.