Veronica shook her head quickly. "No, I had my chance. The morning we went out for waffles I meant to tell you. I found out about it the night before, but I decided not to because I felt stupid. He was just my roommate and—"
"You spent a wonderful holiday with him, just the two of you. You said you had moments. It obviously meant a lot to you, and I can totally understand why that would be heartbreaking. If I were you, I would've been hurt too. You weren't being stupid; you were being human." She squeezed her hand. "Look, the one thing Rick and I have been hearing about for weeks in all these retreats and counseling sessions is that trust is the absolute foundation of a relationship. Without it, you have nothing. What did Noah have to say about sleeping with the girl?"
Veronica shook her head. "I never asked him about it, and, of course, he never offered an explanation. But the girl came back for Christmas, and from what his friend said, she's basically his go-to whore during the holidays. I asked him if he would be spending time with her, and he said no. Instead, he spent the holidays with me. He was by my side both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and then New Year's Eve happened."
"But you still have your doubts?"
"It's not just her, Nellie. She doesn't even live nearby. It's that he's so much younger. You've seen him. The guy can take his pick of any hot girl he chooses. And there's plenty, like the groupies at his fight. How long will it be before this old lady starts to bore him?"
"Oh, get out of here." Nellie pushed her hand away, looking genuinely pissed. "Don't even start with that crap. You look amazing, and Noah certainly seems to agree. Besides this has nothing to do with age or looks anymore. The guy is in love with you. You'll be beautiful to him now no matter what."
"Yeah, but . . ." She hated to bring up such a sore subject, but Nellie had already done so in a way, and Veronica suddenly had to know. "Did Rick ever explain why he almost cheated?"
Instead of looking taken aback like Veronica had expected, Nellie's expression went from pissed off to satisfied. "I'm glad you brought that up. I was planning on sharing this with you anyway."
Nellie told her about the many therapy sessions she and Rick had attended. And while she in no way blamed herself for Rick's indiscretions, she did partially fault the fact that she'd given into what the therapist referred to as "marriage's fine art of denial," leading to what she now called "Rick's near miss."
"To put it simply, it's a form of regression. And it starts very early on in relationships. Most people don't even notice it, since it starts off so subtly. It actually feels right when it first starts, but it builds. In my case, I knew something was going on with Rick from the very beginning, and I chose to ignore it. It was uncomfortable to talk of or even think about it. I decided our marriage and love were strong enough, and whatever it was, I could trust Rick to do the right thing. Turns out he was doing things because he secretly wanted to get caught. And what did I do? I kept turning a blind eye, refusing to acknowledge that there was something seriously wrong."
Nellie told her about how for months before the intern even began working with Rick, their sex life wasn't what it once was. She was tired and stressed out from work all the time, and she was just never in the mood. They started going days then weeks without it, and, of course, neither of them talked about it.
"I seriously don't think this will be an issue for you two from what you've told me so far." Nellie giggled, making Veronica blush. "My point is, I know you, Roni. If you're actually considering doing this with this guy, your doubts won't go away overnight. In fact, the harder you fall for him, the more doubt will creep up. Whatever you do, don't let your pride dictate your actions. If there is something you need to know, something that will settle your nerves or any qualms you may have, ask him. Bring it up no matter how uncomfortable."
Veronica frowned, the first thing that came to mind was Rita. She hated that she was still hung up on that.
"Trust me on this, Roni. If I've learned anything from what happened between me and Rick, it's that I will never again hold back. Any suspicion I have, no matter how minuscule, any uncertainties I have about our marriage, it's all coming up. Of course, you don't want to harp on every little thing and drive him up the wall, but Noah will have to understand one thing. I know you better than anyone. If you do this, you are seriously sacrificing your comfort zone."
Veronica nodded. She sure as hell would be. This was so not like her. She still could hardly believe she was actually giving it serious consideration.
"He'll just have to be understanding of that."
Out of nowhere, a small laugh escaped Veronica, and she covered her mouth with her napkin. "That's one thing I don't think Noah will have too much of an issue with us being completely open about our feelings. I told you what he's like already."
Nellie smiled. "Normally, I'd say having such a hard-ass for a boyfriend might be a problem, but in your case, it just might work to your advantage. He can't complain about you ever having your misgivings if he's barely stopped short of pissing on your leg to mark his territory."
Veronica laughed wholeheartedly now. She felt so much better. She knew she would. Nellie had always been able to talk her down or up whatever the situation was.
Excitement flitted throughout her the entire drive home. Noah walked out to meet her as she got out of her car in the garage.
"How'd it go?"
As he usually did lately, he stood close enough she could smell his breath, and he stared at her with the burning eyes that drove her crazy. He'd obviously brushed his teeth very recently because she could still smell the toothpaste on his breath.
"It went well." She smiled. "I didn't realize how much I missed Nellie until I saw her today."
"I see you dressed up for the occasion." His hand took hers, and he lifted her arm up, stepping back to take in her outfit. "Very nice."
She actually had dressed up, but she was still flattered Noah had noticed. She'd been a little nervous about wearing something she might have considered a bit young for her. But the long sweater tunic, black tights, and her new boots had earned her nothing but compliments today at work, including a very excited one from Nellie. This was part of her big plan for the new Veronica. She still couldn't believe how far she'd sunk in the two years leading up to her mother's death.
"Thank you. It's one of my new outfits."
Her thoughts were back on Noah and the one uncomfortable thing she wanted to ask him. She'd do it once and then never bring it up again. But she needed to know.
Noah took a step forward as usual testing her limits. At this point, she typically would have a hand up between them, reminding him of their friendship status and their agreement that any kissing would be only in the form of a friendly and innocent goodnight kiss. Tonight, however, she let him close in on her. Of course, he wasted no time. Within seconds, she was melting in his strong arms as he drove his tongue into her mouth the way only he could do.
After his delectable greeting that she could very well get used to and would definitely consider working into their agreement, they came up for air. "I missed you tonight," he whispered against her lips before pecking her again.
"I missed you too."
It seemed like it was just the obvious response, but she really had. It had been nice to spend time with Nellie, and the clarity that had come with their conversation had been priceless. However, she had to admit the thought that she could be home with Noah instead had ruefully crossed her mind a few times during dinner.
Which brought her to her next thought. Taking Nellie's advice, she wouldn't put this off any longer. Judging by Noah's greeting, who knew what tonight would end up like, and this was something she needed to know before she made any decisions.
She leaned back against the car, and Noah pressed up against her. "Can I ask you something? It's kind of personal."
He backed up a little, his forehead creasing a bit. "Yeah, you can ask me anything."
"What exactly is your relationship with Rita?"
Even though Noah made great effort to appear indifferent to her question, it clearly hit a nerve. His already hard body tensed up immediately at the very mention of Rita's name, sending out a very bad vibe that made Veronica almost regret asking.