Veronica
Coward—no other word could describe what she was. There was no reason, none whatsoever, why Veronica couldn't have simply told Noah about her afternoon with Derek the other day, and she'd had several opportunities since then to tell him about it. But what had she done? Each time she came up with some other stupid lie or way of changing the subject.
She watched the guys set up in the backyard from the kitchen window. One of their friends had a sound system they'd be using, and they were putting up speakers in her garage. As much as she tried to not feel out of place, she couldn't help thinking about the last time she'd been to a backyard party. She'd been about Noah's age.
Veronica had tried calling Nellie earlier. Her hope was that either Nellie would convince her to just go with it and enjoy her evening with these young guys or confirm that she wasn't being silly for feeling like a chaperone rather than the host of this New Year's bash.
Still in her robe and at a complete loss about what to wear, Veronica walked out of the kitchen and back into her bedroom. After rummaging through her closet and some of the new things she'd bought once Noah fixed her car, she finally decided on a pair of black skinny jeans and a shimmery silver cardigan that fell off her shoulder. She'd actually eavesdropped on a couple of girls shopping the day she'd bought the outfit. If it hadn't been for them, she would've very likely worn her black Uggs with the outfit, but both girls had agreed that long high-heeled boots would be the best way to dress up the jeans.
She now stared at the boots she'd purchased that day. A part of her was still in denial. The only reason she'd bought them was because, after trying them on, she had to agree that they really did dress up the jeans quite nicely, and while they were high, they weren't too high to wear to work. Derek had continued to text her in the past few days and even suggested again that once she was back at work they might meet after for dinner or something. These would be nice to wear on a dinner date.
Slowly she lifted the long sleek boots out of the box. Oh, who was she kidding? The very thought of all the young girls, possibly groupies since they were "friends of the guys," that would be at the party tonight had been all the inspiration she needed to buy the sexy boots in the first place. But she had to remind herself that she didn't need much help in that area. From the way Noah had been looking at her lately, she was pretty sure that attracting him was a done deal. So why the hell was she still looking forward to seeing the expression on his face when he saw her all dressed up? It was just wrong.
She finished getting dressed and stood in front of the full-length mirror on her closet door. She looked good, more than good—so good she almost felt guilty. What was she doing? Her backyard would be full of kids soon, and she'd be out there, mingling as if she belonged in this crowd. She stared at herself a moment longer in the mirror. On the outside, she could easily pass for one of the girls that hung out in Noah's crowd.
On the one hand, she told herself it was okay and perfectly normal to want to feel young and sexy again. She'd been down and out for too long, and she needed this. But on the other, she knew she was playing with fire, and if anyone was ever privy to her true intentions, they could very well be construed as her being a complete tease.
One thing was for sure. Noah made no secret of his hands-off policy when it came to any of the other guys at the gym making advances toward her. At first, she thought she'd imagined it, but it was pretty clear now. So that only made it all the more obvious who she was looking to impress tonight.
Oddly, as wrong as she knew it was for Noah to assume his behavior was acceptable, a very small part of her was thrilled by it. She hated to admit it, but it gave her hope that maybe it meant that, in all fairness, it went both ways. If she was off limits, then maybe he was too.
She shook her head, suddenly feeling the heat rise inside her. Looking back, she'd noticed his odd behavior dated back to before Thanksgiving, and yet he'd still happily ended up with Rita the very day after. This was exactly why she couldn't allow herself to get caught up in something like this. No matter how much she tried, she knew she'd never be able to deal with casual sex the way Noah did. Just the thought of him and Rita had her feeling ready to throw something.
Taking one last look in the mirror, she decided at that moment that she would just enjoy her evening and whatever attention she got tonight from Noah or anyone else. But any thoughts of her and Noah would be snuffed from here on out before they even started. She seriously needed to get a grip and face the facts. Anything between her and Noah would simply not end well. She'd finally pulled herself out of one major depression. Getting involved with a young guy as wonderful and sexy as Noah would just be asking for the inevitable—more heartache than she could ever handle.