"Babyyyy.. Wake up we need to go to school!" I've been waking Celine up for the past 3O minutes but she still keeps snoring and its cute. I kiss her neck and slap her ass harder than earlier which make her yelp "Whydyoudothat!!?" she asked groggily as she burst her eyes open.
I laughed "well, its Monday and classes starts at 7:30, you have 15 minutes to get ready." I said shrugging my shoulders as I grab some toast "Why didn’t you wake me up earlier!!??" she asked as she stands and hurry fixed her things "I was waking you up for the whole 30 minutes and you were snoring like a cow!" I counterargued. She put on a scowl on her face, her hair was a mess, with her towel on her shoulder.
Cute.
"Snoring like a cow huh? How about you? You sleep like.. like a... a cow too!" she hissed while pouting "I don’t. But you do. Heck! I've done everything for the past 30 mins yet you snore more loudly" I replied as I hold my stomach from laughing "So, you don’t like me anymore? Coz I'm like a cow?" she asked faking a hurt tone I just laughed hard and shoved her into the bathroom "Of course not babe. Just go take a bath. We can't be late." I said to her as she just mumbled something and walk her way through the bathroom.
As soon as we arrived outside our room, we instantly broke our intertwined hands. My heart whines but I know we should do these. No one knows anyway. We're 10 minutes late and as we entered the room giving apologies to our teacher, everyone stared at us. Probably because we weren't usually late, but we just brushed it off and make our way to our seats. Annie looked at me knowingly and I mumbled "bitch" but she just laughed it off. The day went by smoothly and now Celine and I were at the park waiting for Mark.
Celine insisted that we two should be introduced and that she assured that there was nothing going on with them. "You're really telling him?" I asked, I was nervous because the last time I saw that Mark guy, was not actually a good one. "Yes. He'll be here in a second. I told him I wanted to hang out and meet someone, he said yes because he's just strolling around anyway" A minute passed and we saw Mark walking to us with a girl and to our shocked it was not just a girl. It was Kris. I saw Celine looked annoyed at Mark and he looked at Celine with an apologetic look.
"Hi Celine! So, what's up? Oh. hello!" Mark said as soon as he saw us "Kris here happened to clash on me when I was strolling around when I received your text so I told her I was meeting you" he explained still looking worried, I think he knows what was between this two.
"Well, I missed hanging out with you Cel." Kris said in a flirting tone while obviously not giving a damn fck about me. I gritted my teeth. This girl really annoyed me. Celine became uncomfortable I can feel it but I hold her hand and squeeze it and it seemed to relaxed her. Our little moment was caught by the two Muppets.
Mark just smiled while Kris rolled her eyes disapprovingly. "Well, I knew this nice place. we could get dinner. "Celine broke off the silence as we went into the restaurant, Celine and Mark talked while I occasionally joined still not comfortable with Kris.
The thing that's been bugging me was that Celine introduced me to Mark as her friend. Her fcking friend! When she said that I saw how Kris smiled evilly.
Ha! That girl has something for my girl. "So, you're a pitch perfect fan, Max?" Mark asked as their topic went off to movies and stuffs "Yeah, I so love the Bellas and their vocals too!" I replied excitedly, I became engrossed in the topic "I'm a Bechloe shipper you know, but I really find Jesse hot." Yep, mark was indeed gay. I laughed mentally feeling the uncomfortable atmosphere disappeared. "Well, I found Amy and Bumper's moments sexy though" Mark and I both looked at Celine and laughed hysterically "I don’t know you're into that kind of stuff, Cel." she blushed so hard and kicked me under the table causing me to laugh and Mark eyed us teasingly.
I should never be jealous with this guy. Remind me that again. Our laugh died down when Kris joined in the conversation. "So, you planning something for holidays, Celine? We can do something… with some other friends too. Right, Mark?" she said eyeing Celine then to Mark Two weeks before the Holidays. "About that.. I'll be at home like the usual and it depends if Maxine got some other plans" I was shocked and happy at what Celine replied. I never thought she wanted us to have something on holidays. I do a victory dance while looking at Kris, which seemed annoyed. "There will be a party at my place. Just foods and drinks and some dancing.
You can go with Celine if you like Max. But since Celine is not a party goer, I still want you to be there" Mark said sipping her drinks Celine's mouth hangs open "I'll go with Max. How dare you uninvite me just because I'm not a party goer!?" she hissed faking hurt and Mark laughed "Yeah Celine. It’s time for you to go and maybe we could flirt with some boys since you're not into girls, right?" Kris said with an underlying tone with it which I can't even comprehend "S-sure Kris." Celine replied nervously.
After that, we go on our separate ways. It was just me and Celine on our way to her apartment. "I was waiting for you to introduced me to Mark as your girlfriend." I deadpanned as we reached her front door.
I threw my body on her couch, sitting up lazily. She stood still and said "I can’t." "And why is that?" "Kris was there, Max. She knows I'm straight that's why I turned her down. " she said brushing her hands through her hair as she sat facing me "Look, I'm sorry. I thought it will be just Mark. I don’t trust Kris. She can make stories of us and even tell my parents about this." She added as worried was obvious on her tone. "So what? Just let her know that you're available and that she can still flirt with you?" "No! She will not because she knows I’m straight!" she hissed "and so are you!" "I am not! And It’s quite obvious that we have this tension between us. She knows I like you, and I knew she does as well." I said truthfully "Max, its complicated. I don't want anyone from our neighborhood shouting I'm gay and I have a girlfriend! That was odd! You don’t know how homophobic this society is!! Our friends ostracize Mark because he's gay! I don’t want that to happen to me." she said through gritted teeth.
I was shocked and was hurt by what she said. I know how homophobic people are nowadays, and that's not fair. Love has no gender. Can we teach our hearts to find love based on their sex!? "But.. what's wrong with that?" I know what’s wrong my mind just keeps shouting that I should claim Celine already. My jealousy was eating me. "What's wrong!? Max, I am not ready to come out. I even asked myself if I'm ready with this.. with US. I like you Max, but I..--"
I cut her off, I was furious now. I understand how excruciating it was to deal with our relationship. Both of us were new to this and I can’t blame her. Maybe she's not ready. "I love you, Celine. And i want to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter how hard this will. I'll stay by your side, always. I promise you that. " I said looking deeply at her eyes.
Her eyes softened a little but was change into something I can’t fully understand. "I'm unsure of what our future hold Max. We're 17 and no one knows what will happen a year after this, we can’t just come out and jeopardize everything we have!" she replied looking at me intently "I LOVE YOU! Sorry.. i just become possessive of you because I want you to be mine.. only mine." I said "I'm not an object Max! Thank you for loving me but I think I can’t see myself struggling for acceptance. Kris knows! She has the idea of what’s going on between us Max. I don't.. I’m not ready yet. " she said crying her eyes out.
Pain struck my heart as she ignored the fact that I said I love her and from what I am hearing, she just wants us to stop. But I can be wrong right? She like me. It can still develop into love, right? "O-okay. I'll wait, we'll--" "No." she cut me off, as she stands and looked at me directly in the eyes. Her eyes are dull, sad, void with emotions. "Go find someone who's ready Max. I can’t be with you, I don't deserve you. I never been into girls before, i like you Max, i just dont see myself in a relationship like this anymore... i think this..this was just a mistake." she said pinching the bridge of her nose "A mistake!? We've been together for almost two months Cel. I-I feel our connection, the attraction between u-us. Look, I'm sorry.. I won’t do this agai--" she cut me off, again "Let's break up. I dont w-want you anymore." she said as she walks through the door opening it. "Please Leave."
I felt like my heart was torn out of my chest. This is what I am afraid of, to be rejected, to not be good enough with someone I wanted so bad, to lose- her. Telling her I love her was a huge risk that I shouldn’t have done because now she knows she could hurt me just by this and the fact that she doesn’t even care, hurts so much. And i hate this feeling. I hate how I can be so strong yet so vulnerable when it comes to her. I thought we had the connection. The bond. The love.
But I was wrong. Very wrong. Yet, a warrior like me never surrenders until she's shattered like a glass and so I'm putting everything at risk now. "Tell me you don’t want me anymore by looking directly into my eyes and I promise, I'll leave you alone as you pleased." I said in a pleading yet stern tone. I was hoping she'll hug me and say this was just a small fight that we can overcome but again, I was wrong.
She holds my arm firmly. Looked directly into my eyes and said "I don’t want you in my life anymore. I was wrong. This was wrong. I should have never let this feeling take over me." she said as she takes a deep breath "Do you understand, Maxine?" Now, my heart was not only torn apart but was shattered into pieces that some parts of it can't be put together anymore. I was lost. I felt so small. I can’t bare the pang of pain I am feeling right now. She had crushed me with those words.
This wasn't the ending I have dreamed we could have. All too soon. I can feel the tears that’s been pleading to come out but I hold it. "As you pleased" I said and my tears betray me, Celine saw it. Celine saw how weak I am. My tears kept coming out my eyes and I walked out of her apartment.
I walk away from her. I walk away from the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.