Chapter 2: The Real Cause I Want to Divorce.
After that argument, Enzo left the house where we lived together for 5 years, looking at his decisive departure, I could also tell that my ex-husband had no attachment to this place. It's ridiculous that I'm expecting his pleas, but arrogant and selfish men like Enzo will never beg me.
If I'm not mistaken, I've always been the first to apologize in every argument, because… I'm afraid he won't love me anymore…
He doesn't even know what bad things he's done to me.
I hadn't had dinner and cried all night in the bedroom, Enzo's heartlessness all these years made me heartbroken and helpless, I always felt like a servant by his side and a sex slave every time he asked. But I always choose to let it go and hope things get better because I always yearn for a beautiful and eternal marriage, a loving family, and my own.
Sometimes when I think about it, I am humbled and stupid myself, because the desire for a happy married life can even throw away my pride.
The reason I want to divorce is not because I am tired from doing a lot of work at the same time or because my husband does not understand and help me.
It's this...
A few days ago, over the weekend, I took a part-time job at a fancy cafe, Enzo didn't know I was working there because he had never cared before.
Enzo and a few friends went there to chat, I also wanted to talk to my husband and her husband's friends, but I was shy because I was afraid that my current appearance would make Enzo lose face, deciding not to come and start a conversation. it was the right thing for me to know how my husband felt about me.
Enzo was very well dressed, he looked much younger than his real age, attractive and charming, making many young women inside the cafe turned to look. He smiled at his friends, a friend told Enzo with a smile filled with excitement and curiosity.
“Hey, why did you choose to get married so soon? We're too young.”
Enzo heard it and immediately smiled.
"Getting married early is not bad, she loves me so much, it's like she could die for me, although her appearance is very stupid, patient and resigned but she was so beautiful without makeup that was a far cry from those flamboyant, perfumed girls. Ha… every time I make love, I'm so happy.”
“Hahahaha…, you're such a jerk, Enzo, do you love her?” - Enzo's friends laughed loudly at his words.
I was standing there not far away so I could hear those men's conversations when I heard a friend of Enzo's asking if he loved me. I was so looking forward, I expected Enzo said he loved me because we were married and had children together, we lived very harmoniously without any quarrels but…
“How can I love her, she's no different from an idiot who shows love to me, she loves me as she could die for me. I married her just because I was curious and amused. Also want to try the feeling of living with a lowly person.”
“I don't have any feelings for her, I just treat her like a next-door maid for years after I get married, and when I make love, I treat her like a sex slave. Despite doing so many times like every time she is very tight and plays very well."
“You so bad, hahahahahaha….” - The laughter of Enzo's friends, makes the customers in the bar turn to look.
I stood nearby and didn't move when I heard the whole thing from Enzo's mouth, and I couldn't breathe, rather because I could hardly breathe because of the severe shock. The husband I loved treated me only as a servant and a sex slave.
The laughter behind me grew louder and louder as if it couldn't be stopped, they were all mocking and laughing at my sincerity, I staggered and couldn't stand anymore, my whole body was crushed like a big rock heavy, heart-like being stabbed by a knife, extremely painful, and difficult to breathe.
On that day, I asked for permission to leave early and return home... facing Enzo normally as if nothing had happened.
Today, before making a divorce proposal I've been thinking a lot, I've been thinking for my daughter about whether she's hurt. But I couldn't continue to pretend like that, didn't want to continue my patience and commitment blindly, he didn't love me, he didn't consider me a legal wife, he just looked at me as a servant and a sex slave.
- I'm pathetic.
“Why do you want to marry me after all? Enzo, you're a terrible man.” - I looked at the ceiling, tears streaming, a sour smile.
“Divorce is the right decision, I will never regret it!”
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After a night of crying a lot, I slept until noon and didn't go to work. But no one would notice that.
I with my pathetic sleazy form of going to the bathroom, I need to get my daughter home. Before I left the house, I reviewed old photos of us. My love was despised by him and thrown away like a pile of garbage…
I was very angry, distressed, and helpless every time I remembered the time we were together. Again, I don't want my love to be disregarded by that man, I pack up all the photos, love letters, and gifts... related to Enzo to take to the backyard to burn. I want to live a better life now, I don't expect him to regret despising my love but I don't want to fall in love with this bad man again.
On the way to my friend's house yesterday I called to pick up Min, I tried not to cry so they wouldn't have to worry.
Min was only three years old, very innocent and very pure, she had beautiful blue round eyes and looked at me and asked.
“Mom, where's Dad? Why can't I see daddy at home? "
In front of her question, I was confused and extremely confused, Min was too young to understand my fatigue. I'm not so selfish as to hurt my little girl, what if she knew my husband and I had broken up and he had left the house yesterday.
"Enzo's going on a long business trip so it's just the two of us, if you remember Dad, you can call him."
Min heard it, she said as small as she didn't want me to hear it.
"I won't miss Daddy, because he never wanted to play with me. My friends are all picked up by their father but I haven't …”
When my daughter said that, my heart felt even more distant, because of work, I could not fulfill the responsibility of a mother to take her child to school every day, so I asked a close friend. However, sometimes I would go to her school, but Enzo never picked up Min. Not only me but also my daughter, whom he never cared about.
Since Min was born, she had never felt her father's warmth, unlike many other fathers. Enzo was not an affectionate type and loved to play with children, but he had never cooked her a meal.
Min used to stare at her little friends who had her father with them and then bowed quietly, I don't know what she was thinking, but I know she must be jealous of it.
My daughter is a child who understands heartbreaking things, the man I love, the man I call my husband is not worthy of being my daughter's father.
In the past, I was the only one working, and although those jobs can earn a lot of money, I also have to spend a lot of money, the money that I saved before getting married has also been used around the time I was pregnant and after giving birth to Min. Enzo never created any value to help me. Now, the amount of money I save is a little, and I don't dare to spend it on the things I love.
To be more precise, since I got married to Enzo I never dared to buy anything for myself not even a shirt or a pair of trousers.