I lean my head against the external wall of the hospital that connected to the parking lot. I gaze at the sun for a few moments, then close my eyes and take a deep breath. I couldn't digest my mother's new behavior at all. She seemed like a completely different person. It was impossible not to feel frustrated with the situation.
"Have you been waiting long?" Benjamin's voice sounded in my ears. "I was stuck with my father who was spewing beautiful words about integrity. But I don't think he even knows what it means," he said ironically.
Benjamin had made giving me rides to the hospital almost a daily routine. He didn't mind accompanying me on all the morning visits I made to my mother. In fact, he seemed to love doing it, even though I told him not to waste his time with me.
"Is everything okay?" he asked, seeing that I hadn't responded to his arrival.
"To be honest?" I sigh. "I don't know." I open my eyes and look lost in the parking lot.
"What happened?" he approached, leaning against the wall next to me. "Didn't have a good talk with your mother?"
"She seems like a completely different person," my voice echoes with hurt. "I look at her, I see my mother, but at the same time, because of her new way of thinking, she doesn't seem like Stefanny at all. And I feel frustrated because of that," I confess.
Benjamin sighs, uncomfortable.
"And this has to do with my father, doesn't it?"
"I don't know." I shrug. "I don't know if... If being with him changed her, or if she changed and decided to be with him. But... She seems determined and completely aware of what she's doing."
I push away from the wall and slide my left hand through my hair, tense.
"And to think that I expected to find only a woman fighting for her life... It was much more than I expected," I sigh.
"Hey," he approached me. "Don't beat yourself up about it, okay?" He touches my cheeks with his thumbs, inducing me to look into his clear eyes. "You did your part as a good daughter. You cared. You left everything in London just to take care of her. And whatever she's doing, don't let it interfere with your life. It was her choice to get involved with my father, just as it was his. We can't interfere." He briefly moistens his lips, still looking into my eyes. "You're an incredible woman, Alice. And you don't deserve to lose your balance over something trivial."
I take a deep breath. Benjamin's words, somehow, fill my inner self, calming the bitter Alice within me.
"Do you understand?" he emphasized, and I nodded my head.
"Great." He smiled. "Now, let's go back home."
Benjamin slides his hand to mine and walks with me towards his car, parked a few meters away from where we were. I get in the car after him. I watch Benjamin start the car and drive out of the parking lot.
***
Benjamin parks in front of my house.
"Well... You're home now," he comments, exhaling a small friendly smile on his face.
"Thank you... for everything," I look at him. "Really."
The smile on Benjamin's lips expands.
"No need to thank me."
"You've been really kind to me."
Benjamin rolls his eyes and lets out a short laugh, seeming to have become a little embarrassed. "You're going to make me blush, Miss Collins," he jokes. If it weren't for the sunlight illuminating his face, I would have thought I had seen him blush.
I am amused by his shyness. "See you later?" I ask before getting out of the car.
"Whenever you want," he replies, his words thrown around an intense gaze and an exuberant smile that sends chills down my body. What a strange feeling.
I say goodbye to Benjamin and walk into my house, deep in thought about the feeling I had just experienced. Why does this keep happening?
"Alice! So glad you're here," my aunt Ana says as she approaches me and rummages through her bag. "I have to go to the bank now. Lunch is ready. Agatha and Alex should be arriving home from school soon. I'll be back in a little while." The young woman passes me and leaves the house.
My Aunt Ana was the youngest daughter of three women, with my mother being the oldest. She never wanted to get married, dedicating her time exclusively to herself. Ana had been staying at my house, taking care of my mother since before I arrived in Brazil.
I go up to my room, which I was sharing with Alex and Agatha. I still hadn't gotten used to the fact that I was sharing a room with my sisters again, after years of sleeping alone, but because of debts, my mother had to sell the house my father left us and buy a smaller one.
My phone vibrates. Gregory asks to make a video call. I answer.
"Look at her!" Gregory comments excitedly.
"Let me see!" Hannah's voice sounds in the background. Gregory moves the camera down, giving a view of Hannah lying in his lap. "Alice!" an enthusiastic smile takes over her lips. "How's it going in Brazil? Have you seen Benjamin? I saw on Instagram that he's also back there. Did you see him?"
"Enough!" Gregory abruptly takes the camera away from Hannah's phone.
"She's still obsessed with Benjamin..."
"I'm not obsessed!"
"Of course you are."
"Is that Alice?" Nathan appears in the background. "Hi, Alice!" He waves.
Before I can respond to Nathan, Gregory moves the camera again.
"Stop moving the camera, Gregory!" Hannah complains.
"Anyway! How's it going there? Are you okay?" Gregory focuses the camera only on his face, making it impossible for me to see Hannah and Nathan.
I am amused by them. I didn't realize that Hannah and Gregory were so close.
"Since when have you and Hannah been so close?" I ask, still amused.
"Since you decided to leave and not say goodbye to your other friends!" Hannah takes the phone from Gregory's hands. "You were a terrible friend, Alice!" I see a pout form on her lips.
"I'm sorry. I wanted to say goodbye to everyone. But... The situation required me to be as fast as possible."
"Apology accepted!" a huge smile appears on their lips, making their eyes close automatically.
"But then..." Gregory takes his phone back. "You didn't say how it's going there. Tell us! We're curious!"
Hannah sits next to Gregory and Nathan appears behind them, leaning over the couch, this time I could see all three of them together.
"Well..." I start, thinking about where to begin telling, not knowing if I should speak the truth that surrounded me, or if I should be as superficial as possible. But I decide to be the clearest and most direct. "After I arrived, I found out that my mother is having an affair with Benjamin's father."
"What?!" the three of them say in unison, amazed.
"You're saying... Benjamin... Benjamin that Hannah is obsessed with?" Gregory comments astounded.
"I'm not obsessed!" Hannah retorts. "But what are the chances of that happening?"
"I can't believe Aunt Stefanny did that." Nathan said equally stunned.
"So... I still can't digest this."
"Explain this properly. How did all this happen? Does Benjamin know?" Gregory asked.
"I found out from Benjamin. Ironically, when he donated bone marrow for my mother, on the day I arrived in Brazil." The expressions on their faces conveyed the same shock as when I had found out about it too. "And after she recovered from the illness... She told me how her involvement with Benjamin's father happened, who was actually the doctor who was taking care of her. And she said that after I left Brazil, she decided to get a job, and ended up finding a maid job in Benjamin's parents' house. And ended up... Getting involved with his father." I sigh.
"I'm shocked." Gregory says. "Alice, you have a lot of ease living coincidences. Damn... Who would have thought it was Benjamin's father."
"Yeah. And I don't think I could handle the impact alone. But... Benjamin is giving me all the support possible."
"And that's great. Especially, after everything that happened between you and Joshua."
Ah, Joshua... I miss him.
"Did you talk to him again?"
"Not much. I've been so busy with my mother that... I didn't have much time to talk to him."
"Speaking of time..." Nathan starts. "Your father came here to the apartment, looking for you, a few days after you left. He didn't know you had left. And he seemed pretty upset to find out."
"Damn..." I murmur. "I completely forgot to tell him."
"And then... He said he will come back to Brazil." Nathan concludes.
"What?!" I widen my eyes, surprised. "H-He's going to get lost in Brazil! My mother doesn't live in his old house anymore. Did he tell you when he would travel?"
"Not that I remember."
Damn it!
"Alice? Alice! Come down here!" my mother called me from downstairs.
"I have to go now. I'll talk to you guys later, okay?" They both nod and I end the call.
I leave my room and go down the stairs, entering the living room.
"I need help choosing a dress," she says, analyzing her phone screen.
"A dress?" I approach her.
"We'll be having dinner at Edgar's house on Friday."
"What?" I looked at her frustrated.
"He's a fun guy. I want Agatha and Alex to get used to him."
"Why should they get used to him?" I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrows.
"Because we're going to live with him."
Those words felt like a whip on my back.
"You're kidding, right?"
"Why would I joke?" She looked at me and frowned. "He and I agreed to live together once his divorce went through."
I shake my head incredulously.
"Are you really willing to be with him?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"
"Maybe because... You don't really love him? You're just seeking comfort!"
"And am I wrong for wanting that?" She arched her left eyebrow.
"So... You don't really love him." My mother doesn't answer. "Did you even love my father?"
"Your father left me for another woman." Her words sound bitter. "He's no longer a part of our lives."
"Did you know he's coming to Brazil?" I interject briefly.
My mother glances at me and then turns away from me. "Whatever. He's nobody to me now." She walks towards the kitchen.