"Anya?" I cringed as the sheet I was supposed to work on remained blank in my hands. The thought of my boss transforming into a tiger made me wince.
"Stay focused."
I nodded, trying to figure out where the conversation was headed.
"Do you have a problem?"
I hastily shook my head. Only Naomi and Dona knew about this issue. Krystal? I hoped not! I wasn't prepared for my image would be shattered instantly. Krystal often praised my performance and skills, and I didn't want that to change just because I was pregnant.
No.
No.
We were close, yet distant. Krystal quickly asked questions and always got answers, but no one dared to ask her questions in return. Even if someone did, Krystal would smile in response.
Her fortress was towering; maybe that's why I got used to it. I emulated how a career woman should act. Only to specific people would I open up about who I indeed was. But that didn't apply to Krystal. She remained an untouchable woman.
And I should be like that, too, right? Oh God! Anya, I swear I'm foolish!!!
"Yes, you do." My trance broke, and Krystal held up a bundle of red folders I had given her earlier. They contained the critical points for our collaboration with the E-commerce department. My brows furrowed; I couldn't find any issues there. I double-checked everything.
"Fix it."
And Krystal left just like that. I quickly skimmed through the pages, glancing at the clock on my computer's toolbar. I felt frustrated because I had only thirty minutes. Oh my God! The delayed meeting time helped, but having to fix the key points in just thirty minutes?
My eyes scanned the pages frantically, and finally, I noticed the mistake. Oh my God! Krystal was questioning my focus! No time to waste; I immediately corrected the error. It was about the budget, and I had already agreed with the finance department. It was a critical point that we would consider in the meeting later. Why did this have to be wrong? Oh my God!
When Krystal left the room, the printer hadn't even finished printing the revisions. It made me even more flustered as I scrambled to wear high heels.
"Ready, Anya?"
"Yes, ma'am."
She nodded and started walking without caring if I was ready. For her, time was money, and opportunities should never be wasted. Fortunately, she didn't leave me behind in the elevator.
"Don't lose focus, okay? How long have you been working with me?"
I chose to purse my lips.
When the elevator doors opened, our high heels tapping echoed. Some people turned and gave us fake smiles, especially toward Krystal. As usual, my boss only gave me a small smile. She wore an army green slit pencil skirt and a long-sleeved shirt that accentuated her long neck. Her hair cascaded freely. Hermes was always Krystal Blaxton's favorite brand.
Like a model, she always managed to captivate almost everyone's attention in the lobby. She was my reflection. Until yesterday, that is. Because now, I felt like I was plummeting into the void. Ah, minus zero even.
Charismatic, independent, intelligent, beautiful, elegant, polite, and kind. Krystal was just an over-perfectionist. I had always taken Krystal as my role model. Seven years working under the same flag, with the last four as her secretary. It taught me so many styles and positive auras that Krystal presented in front of a crowd, especially in business meetings.
But now? Everything feels pointless.
"Anya, seriously. Do you need to take leave next week?" Krystal asked.
I blinked slowly, trying to gather my thoughts after daydreaming.
"Did you hear what Anya just said?"
"Leave?" I mumbled.
Krystal got into her luxurious sedan with a very distinct huff. I was sure it was directed at me. As my behind landed on the plush leather seat of her car, she was still not done making me feel foolish today.
"Why won't you talk to me? What's wrong with you?" Krystal shot at me; her eyes sharp.
"Because I need your focus, Anya. Don't mess up this meeting. You understand what I mean, right?" I strengthened my resolve. "I don't have any problems, ma'am. Maybe it's because I didn't sleep enough last night."
I heard her sigh, her hands now in a relaxed position. "Next time, I won't be like this again."
***
The meeting went as Krystal wanted, leaving a pile of work for me. We returned to the office at five o'clock. Office hours officially ended, but not for me. I refused to leave any work unfinished today. Tomorrow's business could wait; today's tasks must be completed today. It wasn't too much work anyway. I should be out of the office by seven if my calculations were correct.
Krystal's back disappeared behind her office's glass door. I quickly placed the documents and my bag down, then sat back, leaning against the chair. Today had been tiring for me. Hand washing my face to feel fresh again isn't a bad idea. So, I acted on my intention, exchanging my heels for pink fluffy sandals for comfort.
Indeed, it was a good idea. I felt refreshed and ready for overtime. For a moment, I forgot about the overwhelming thoughts of what was inside my womb. When I returned to the room, Cedric was there, just stepping out of Krystal's office.
My body tensed up as if everything between Cedric and me automatically played in my mind.
"Ms Anya?" I didn't know how long I had been daydreaming. What I knew was that Cedric was now standing in front of me, looking confused. I cleared my throat briefly and chose to walk past him, ignoring his presence.
"Are you working late, ma'am?"
Usually, he often asked this question to employees who left the office late. Some would request a cup of coffee, warm tea, and snacks. "Ah, yes. Anya is working overtime."
"Do you want me to make you some tea as well?"
I didn't know how to respond.
"Ms Krystal also asked for tea. Maybe Ms Anya wants some too?" Cedric seemed to be looking down when I glanced at him. I don't know why.
"Sure."
He only nodded briefly and disappeared from my view. I had to ignore his presence completely, forget what had happened over the past two months, and pretend that what was inside me didn't exist. Or maybe I should get rid of it? It's distracting my concentration, after all.
Really.
Well, this time, I better stay late. Krystal hadn't shown any signs of leaving yet. I could still hear her voice, probably on the phone with someone.
"I've placed it here, ma'am."
Maybe because I was too focused and immersed in my work, I nodded without looking at Cedric again. Slowly, the scent of jasmine tea and salty cheese reached my nose. I glanced at the tray that Cedric had placed on the nearby table.
I hope you like it.
Cedric