Luckily, I didn't oversleep. I don't know when I fell asleep, but one thing's for sure: tonight, I didn't sleep peacefully. I COULDN'T SLEEP SOUNDLY ANYMORE since I learned about the other life, and many burdens suddenly fell on my shoulders. My mind became chaotic. Even though I was attacked by drowsiness, I didn't want to close my eyes.
To make matters worse, the events of that night replayed, albeit somewhat blurry. Now I understand what Naomi meant when she said that yesterday. I was the one teasing Cedric. At first, I wanted to deny it and would continue to deny it. But in the end, I gave up. I did knock Cedric. Who wouldn't succumb to temptation when I was completely unaware, supposed to be more cautious than usual?
A black dress above the knees with a high neckline. And to top it off, I was drunk. Is there anything else I regret? Plenty. That night wasn't the first time I did it. With Cedric, I mean; it was the second time. I felt sad and deeply regretted my actions when I was still in college. Fortunately, we were safe. At least there was nothing that would be my responsibility later. Since then, I never wanted to be trapped again in fear and excessive worry about the consequences.
But the foolish part is that I was careless this time. My brain was left in the office toilet. There's no logical thinking like usual. I became a seductive woman. I don't know if I should feel sad, scared, worried, hurt, or what. But one thing is for sure, and regret constantly comes later. And now I'm supposed to ask Cedric to take responsibility? That's insane!
When I opened my eyes the following day after falling asleep exhausted that night, I sat at the edge of the bed, gathering my sanity and memories. When I looked to the other side of the bed, I wished I could rewind and fix it so I didn't have to face what I was facing now. Cedric was there. Sleeping soundly shirtless. As for me? Don't even ask. I just wrapped my naked body with a blanket. Massaging my temples quite hard, I still felt the headache.
"Ma'am," he called with a slight groan. Cedric was already fully dressed. He walked towards me and awkwardly sat at the dining table right in front of me.
"Don't talk. I don't want to talk about last night." I placed a cup of warm jasmine tea that I liked.
"I—"
"Please, Cedric. Let's forget it. Pretend like nothing happened." I got up. "After you finish your coffee, please go home immediately. I still want to sleep."
"If something happens to you, I'll take responsibility."
I chuckled softly. "I remember what you said last night. It's impossible to get pregnant in just one night." And I also vividly remember we did it three times, even though I was still under the influence of vodka. And without protection. Impressive, right? How stupid of me, Anya!!! I don't know if my words offended him or what. He just stared at me intensely. Then, without asking for permission, he left. Slamming the door quite hard behind him.
For the first time, I cried about what I had done.
***
"Anya, are you okay?" Krystal's voice startled me, breaking my reverie. I blinked slowly and refocused on my work. "Sorry, ma'am," I replied.
"Have you had breakfast? If not, there are some sandwiches on my desk. We're going to face a long day," Krystal gestured for me to follow her. The sound of her expensive high heels echoed, along with the tapping of my shoes, as I followed her lead. A small plate with a few sandwich pieces and three stacked folders were handed over to me. Krystal could be both kind and ruthless. I couldn't refuse, so I smiled sweetly and thanked her.
I stared at the cup of warm jasmine tea with a troubled expression. My mind wandered to who knows where thinking about my situation for the next few months. I couldn't sleep for more than an hour or two before dawn. Luckily, I was skilled with concealer and foundation. Otherwise, Krystal would be asking me why I had dark circles under my eyes.
Ever since that night, Cedric and I acted like strangers. Limited greetings were all we exchanged. He had a lot of work too. As for me, eating lunch on time was an occasion to give thanks. Sometimes, Cedric would buy me lunch, but that was because he often had his lunch ordered and delivered here. In the days following that night, everything was just average. No burden whatsoever.
Everything changed because now I wasn't just taking care of myself. I froze when I caught Cedric cleaning my desk and computer screen earlier this morning. Usually, I'd smile briefly and sit at another chair, waiting for him to finish his work. My thoughts drifted to how he could take responsibility for us—me and our future child.
Oh God! What should I do?
Last night, I went through my work documents. I read the small company rules book. According to the company rules, there was a three-month maternity leave. But most of the staff here were married. As for me, I wasn't even married. There's no way HR would give me three months of maternity leave, or even just one whole month, and still pay me. Impossible. Also, my child wouldn't get any insurance benefits from the company since there was no clear proof of my marriage.
I sighed in frustration. The pressure intensified when I saw a box of business cards with my name.
Anya Joice, S.I.K
Secretary to the Board of Directors
Blaxton Express
Batavean District, Koil Tower Lot 4
And all of this was at stake. Should I terminate it all?