(Renata Pellegrini)
Filippo takes the papers from my hands and walks to the counter, I stand behind him watching him pay my friend's expenses.
“Thank you, please take it out of my next paycheck.” I speak after we walk away from the counter, feeling happy to stay in my job.
The month is already over, in two weeks I will receive my third salary and I will use it to pay this debt and also the part that I agreed with Filippo to pay for the furniture in our new house.
“No need, ragazza.”
“I insist, please.” I insist.
Filippo goes to a drinking fountain and fills a glass with water, he holds my hand and guides me to the outside of the hospital.
“Why don't you want to let me pay for things for you?” He inquires when we stop at the side of the hospital, where apparently there is no one.
“I am not your wife.” I speak. “You have no duty to provide for me.” I make my point, my mother always told me never to treat a boyfriend like a husband, otherwise he will never want to marry me, I know that I gave my virginity without being married to him, and that now we live together, but still, a voice in my head says that it is wrong for me to let him pay for everything for me, it is enough what he did in the beginning, which was when I really had no money. “Also, I'm not unemployed, I earn my own money and since we share the same house, it's only fair that we also share expenses.”
“Talking like this makes it sound like we are roommates.”
“We are a couple, sharing obligations, that's all.” I say, smiling.
“I don't know whether to be surprised or shocked by that.” He speaks and kisses my forehead, I love it when he does that, I feel warm inside. “Here.”
Filippo hands me the glass of water and some medicine.
“What is it?” I ask, looking at the pill in the palm of my hand.
“The remedy to prevent pregnancy.” He explains.
“Oh, I had forgotten.” My wide smile give way to a yellow smile, I was so worried about Amanda that I forgot that today I had my first sexual relations and that in them all Filippo poured himself inside me, that perhaps, a little seed has been planted, but that it is not father's wish to reap.
“Can't I take it tomorrow?” I ask. “I still feel shaken, just now a gun was aiming at my head, several men came up behind me also armed, I was afraid to die in the middle of a crossfire, I…” I try to explain myself, but he cuts me off.
“Here you go.” He says bronchiale. “The sooner you take the medicine, the more effective it is. And I already gave you the medicine out of the cartridge, so you can't save it for tomorrow.”
“Right.”
Why do I hesitate so much? I can't force him to become a father without him being ready and more importantly, am I ready to become a mother? I always wanted to have a family, to stop being alone in the world, but it's not right to force my dream on someone else without his consent.
I take the medicine, and return the glass to Filippo.
“Do you have the number of Amanda's father? He has to come stay with his daughter.”
“No, and I don't think he would come.” I answer with regret, I am so sorry that my best friend has such a bad father.
“So you intend to stay here overnight?”
“Yes, she is my best friend, I can't leave her alone.” I answer.
“I understand, come, let's sit down, it's going to be a long night here.”
Filippo takes my hand and leads me to his car, which is parked a few meters away from us.
“A girl named Camilly has been looking for you.” I speak as soon as we are in the car. “Just today, this is the second woman who calls me a whore, and says I'm just a hobby of yours. What is she to you?”
“Did she say what she wanted?” Filippo ignores my question and stiffens his jaw, as if trying to control his anger. I keep analyzing him and creating various hypotheses in my mind. “Answer me!” He speaks, practically shouting, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“Who do you think you are to yell at me?” I inquire, controlling the tone of my voice.
Filippo looks at me as if I'm challenging him, which I really am, that's why I don't want him to keep paying for things for me, my mother always said that there are few men like my father, and that most of them, when they start "paying" some bills for their women, they think they have the right to step on them, humiliate them, abuse them among other things.
I am fully aware that I am talking to someone who doesn't think twice before pulling the trigger, and I can't even imagine how many people he has killed, but he promised he would kill himself before he hurt me.
“I'm sorry.” He request, I remain silent. On his face it's as if he's fighting a battle, maybe he's not used to having someone put him in his place, he has no right to shout at me. “I didn't mean to shout at you, much less be rude to you, piccola.”
“Don't let it happen again.” I sulk and cross my arms.
Filippo leans his body close to me and looks into my eyes, and as always, I lose myself in his immensity and depth, even though he has already seen me naked and been inside me, whenever he faces me like this, it's as if my soul is also undressing before him.
I close my eyes as I feel the warm contact of his lips on mine, his hand holds my cheek and his thumb begins to caress it, I open my lips in an invitation for his tongue to dive into my mouth, he accepts, his tongue touches mine and together they begin to dance with a sensual force. I lift my hands and hug his shoulders, wanting to pull him closer to me, but he ends the kiss by giving me a kiss and settling back into the driver's seat.
Unhappy, once again he bent me over with a kiss!
“What did Camilly say to you?” He asks, now in a softer voice.
“I will only tell you after you tell me who she is.” I say determined.
“She is an ex-colleague from college.” He answers, but I'm not satisfied with this answer so I remain silent, he rolls his eyes and then continues
“She didn't accept the ending.” I completed her sentence.
“Yes.” He confirms. “I have answered your question, now answer mine.”
“After I mentioned being her girlfriend, she called me a slut and I shut the gate in her face.” I summarized to her what happened.
“Is that all?”
“Yes.” I answer.
This time, I took the initiative, grabbing the back of Filippo's neck and pulling him to me, initiating another intense kiss, which sent waves of pleasure down my legs. Feeling the fire of lust overwhelm me, I sit on Filippo's lap and roll our hips together. His hands grip my waist tightly and force me to rub even harder against his monster bound by the fabric.
I moan softly in his ear as I feel his fingers pull my panties aside and masterfully massage my sensitive spot. I move my hands down to the fly of his pants and hurriedly release his member which is glowing with excitement, I feel myself getting even wetter. I lift myself up a little, positioning him at my slippery entrance and can't control the moan that comes out of my mouth as I feel him completely inside me.
What a wonderful feeling! I am addicted to him, following my instincts I start to move in his lap, feeling myself flooding, so that I accommodate him, Filippo moans softly and hoarsely in my ear, giving me even more fuel to continue.
“I'll…” I start to speak, but the sound of someone knocking on the car's side window interrupts us. Oh, shit!
Filippo lowers the tinted window of the car and by reflex, I hide my hot face of shame in his neck.
“What do you want?” He rudely asks the nurse.