(Renata Pellegrini)
Why am I feeling lonely?
Things happened very fast today, Caio fought for me and got fired, I almost got fired too, when I got home I hit a girl, who is in love with the man I love, I lost my virginity, I got to know a new house, I made love on the balcony there, and I have also chosen the furniture, packed my bags and it is still only five o'clock in the afternoon...
I can't help it, a tear escapes from my eyes. I have always been alone, since the death of my parents, but after I came here, I had forgotten what it was like to be in an empty house, just me.
I wanted to get a good job, meet a nice guy and have at least three kids, that was the list I set as goals before entering college. But it looks like I will only be able to accomplish two items on the list.
I touch my belly and imagine it big, with a baby kicking inside, I smile bitterly, Filippo won't let me feel that. But, why?
I take a deep breath holding back the tears that want to come out, I better take a shower, I go to the bathroom and bathe myself with the hot water, it's really relaxing.
"Ding Dong", I hear the doorbell ring, I stop drying myself and put on my robe, all my clothes are already inside the suitcase. I walk through the living room and open the garage door, a woman with green eyes and long blonde hair, she is taller than me, her body looks like that of a model.
"Who are you?" She questions looking me up and down, I don't like her.
"Who are you?" - I return the question and cross my arms.
"I want to talk to Filippo." She ignores me.
"I don't talk to nameless people." I answer and start to close the gate.
"My name is Camily Fox!" She introduces herself holding the gate.
"I am Renata Pellegrini, what do you want with Filippo?"
"Are you by any chance his brother, or some cousin of his?"
"I am his girlfriend." I answer with a frown on my face.
"His girlfriend?" She asks, looking as if she doesn't believe what I said. "Don't lie to me girl, Filippo is not dating, for sure you are just another girl..."
"Get out of here!" I cut her off and shut the gate tight.
Oh, shit! How many more women will I have this kind of conversation with? What crap Filippo, why did you have to get involved with so many?
I take a hard step back to the living room and reach for my cell phone. There is a missed call from Amanda, it's not common for her to call me out of the blue without even sending a message first, I call her back.
"Renata?" She answers the call crying.
"Hello? What happened, are you okay?"
"I-I need help... I can't get Caio on the phone..." She hiccups.
"Where are you? I'm coming over now." I say going to the bedroom.
"D-don't come! Try calling him." - Amanda says, stopping me in my tracks.
"Why don't you want my help?" I ask, feeling a twinge of sadness.
"Please, talk to Caio, tell him it's urgent if you can talk to him, please, Renata." She asks, crying. "Oush!" Amanda shouts followed by the sound of some glass object being thrown. "I have to hang up."
She hangs up, my heart is pumping hard inside my chest, what is going on at her house? I don't know exactly where she lives, but she told me that her father, after losing everything, became a violent man inside the house and that he often cursed at her when she came home from work. I don't doubt at all that her broken leg has to do with her father.
Shit! I don't have Caio's number, after we spoke again, I didn't have time to ask for his contact details, now what?
I run to the bedroom and change clothes, without even paying attention I put on the first dress from the suitcase, put on my sandals, rummage through my purse and find Filippo's driver's number.
"Hello!" He answers on the first call. "What can I do for you, ma'am?"
"Do you know how to get to Brownsville?" I ask, with my cell phone on speakerphone, while I do a bad bun in my hair.
"Brownsville? The most dangerous neighborhood in Brooklyn? What do you want to do there? Did Mr. Valentini allows you to go there?"
"Do you know how to get there or not?" I ask impatiently. I don't need Filippo's permission to go or not to go places, he is not my owner.
"I'm not going to wash up in that neighborhood, have a nice day, ma'am." He hangs up.
Oh, shit! I'm going to need an Uber. I ask for one on the app, but it takes me over fifteen minutes to find a driver willing to go into this neighborhood. Two minutes later, I leave the house, the app says the driver is already in front of my house.
"Good evening." I say hello as I get into the car, not the car, but the driver. Better for me, I don't like to be alone in a car with an unknown man. "Can we go quickly, please?"
"Okay." She answers nicely and starts the car. "May I ask you a question?"
"Yes."
"Why are you going to this neighborhood? It's quite far from here."
"I have a friend there, she needs help. But I don't know exactly where her house is, all I know is that she lives down there." I am sorry that I have never asked her for more details about where she lived.
"And how do you intend to find her house?"
"I will go out asking and hope that someone will help me."
"It's not a good idea to do this, this is not a neighborhood that accepts strangers."
"I can't just stand by and do nothing." I answer feeling the pain in my chest, I'm afraid to go there, but I'm even more afraid of what might be happening to Amanda.
"I live in that neighborhood, tell me the name of your friend, maybe I know her."
"Amanda Castilly. She's a redhead, works at..."
"Daughter of Leandro Castilly, the broke junkie, everybody in that neighborhood knows them. Poor girl."
"Yes..."
After forty minutes, the girl drops me off in front of a rusty gate full of gunshot marks, so this is where Amanda lives? This place is not so different from where I used to live.
I knock several times on the gate, but no one answers.
"Amanda!" I yelled for her several times, but no answer.
I start kicking the gate and pounding harder, people on the street look at me strangely, but I don't care, I might even get arrested for making so much noise at night. After about five minutes of pounding on the gate, Amanda opens it. Her eye is purple, her right arm is dislocated, her nose and mouth are bleeding.
"Get out of here, please, get out of here Renata, get out now!" She pleads in a weak voice. “I told you not to come, please get out of here while there's still time…”
"Who is this girl?" A strong man appears behind Amanda, I can see the design of the gun at his waist.
"It's no one, she's just asking for information." Amanda lies trembling.
"Then get out of here, bitch." He speaks to me, pushing Amanda, who falls to the ground.
"Your mother's a whore, you fucking asshole!" I return the curse feeling anger coursing through my veins, he pulls out his gun pointing it at my head.
"Julio, stop, please, she has nothing to do with this!" Amanda stands up holding his arm.
"Let me go, damn it!" He pushes her again.
"Who is he, Amanda?" I ask, even though my legs are shaking from once again having a gun pointed at my head.
"Drop the gun!" A man speaks behind me, I turn my head and see five men in black suits, all pointing their guns at the man in front of me.
"Who are you?" He inquires angrily.
"If you don't put the gun down in five seconds, we have permission to open fire." The man speaks coldly.
Are they going to open fire with me in the middle?