Four
Secrets, the most dangerous yet unavoidable attribute of every living creature. We've all got them, good or bad.
There are two reasons why secrets are kept; 1: To protect the one's we care about
2: To protect ourselves.
But for the average teenager, we've all got to admit that we only keep secrets because we wanna protect ourselves, Maybe we'll get to that point in our lives whereby we'll only keep secret from our loved ones to protect them from harm or heartbreak, but that's probably when we hit our mid 20s or for some, never. But until then, guess we'll just keep protecting ourselves.
One fact I'm beginning to learn about secrets is that the more you keep it inside of you, the more you lose your inner peace and purity, and you gradually die inside, Like the day I got home from school 2 years ago, I was 15 and a half, and i was still filled with that kiddies joy and happiness that comes with being pre-teen. Dad's phone was on the kitchen table that afternoon and i wondered why it was there, I mean, it's rare to find dad in the kitchen itself not to speak of his phone. So curiosity got the most of me and I decided to snoop, unfortunately dad was one of those people who rolled with the easy 1234 password, so I got into his phone and for some reason or whatsoever, I tapped on his SMS box, a big mistake, a freaking big mistake. I saw messages from women I actually knew to be his friends and colleagues and some of them I didn't even know, and they were all racy messages. I got so furious, picked his phone up, tossed it into the toilet and hit the flush button. I didn't realize what I'd done until the phone was finally and literally deep in shit. My dad started asking if anyone saw his phone and I had to deny, although I wanted to scream at him and accuse him of hurting mum, but I knew doing that would mean asking for a death sentence, so I just tossed the secret into my heart, this time i decided not to hit the flush button. That secret's gonna follow me to the grave, or down the shithole just like dad's Samsung Galaxy smartphone. I won't deny, it hurts as hell when I see him smile and act like mom's the one in his life, but I can't tell anyone, I've got to protect myself.
Here's another secret, relax and grab a large bag of popcorn cos this one's gonna be a movie. One day, and by one day, I mean two months ago, I got so sick and tired of staring at my phone, it had been 2 months of leaving home and it had just dawned on me that my parents had only called me once; dad called to confirm if I'd settled, and mom called to ask if I'd taken her Victoria Beckham sandals, which I did. And that was it, they never called after that, I'd always been the one calling and the thought of it made me feel so lonely and sad and I didn't want to feel that way so i decided to visit the school stadium, I always made a mental note to go there but never did so it felt like the perfect time to walk around the stadium while listening to sad music, I know I definitely kept "When the party's over" by Billie Eillish on repeat. I was jamming to my Billie when I felt something hit me, it was am empty bottle of water. I turned back slowly and my eyes met the gorgeous smiling face of Paul, one of Ruth's collection of fine boyfriends... Okay at that time he was her only boyfriend...whatever, he walked up to me and I remembered staring at his gorgeous perfect lips saying, "Hey, Star! I've been calling your name since, you didn't hear me" I really wanted to say, "Duh! Guy, I've got earpiece on" but I think I just smiled instead. He apologized for throwing the empty can at me and although I assured him it was cool, he still offered to get me something and I finally agreed to a cold bottle of "Smoove". Wait a minute! Have you tasted a chilled bottle of Smoove? Lawd Jesus! If you haven't, then you aren't Smoove, you see what I did there?... Anyways, back to the story. So, he got two bottles, one for me and the other for himself and we for whatever reason, we started walking together, he asked what song I was listening to and I told him, he said he loved Billie and that "Ocean eyes" was his best Billie song, "Ocean eyes" is my best Billie song too and i roll with anyone who loves "Ocean eyes", so we got talking and talking and then he started telling me things I shouldn't know, like how he didn't feel like he was in a relationship with Ruth because she was never around, I did what I usually do best, Nod and listen, and he had to say "It makes me happy that someone actually listen to me." I mean, how was i not supposed to get touchy and in my feelings and all that?, coupled with the fact that it was about 7 in the evening and did i mention that this dude was drop dead gorgeous? So yeah, we stopped walking and I was staring into his eyes and he was staring into mine and he said, "I actually like you, Star" I don't like Paul for sh*t, I know he's fine as hell and all, but I think it was the "Smoove" or the fact that I was lonely and sad, but I remember saying, "I like you too, Paul" and that's how i kissed my friend's boyfriend. As If that wasn't enough, the next day, I got to school and met Ruth and the girls, from the look on Ruth's face it was obvious she had been crying, Apparently, Paul had just broken up with her.