Two
Okay, I don't know how true or how accurate this fact is, but I think every girl, At least every Nigerian girl, has got her fair share of female friends she hangs out with. I mean, if you can't relate to this fact then that's completely your bizwax, this is my story anyway.
So yeah, I've got mine, and just as you might have guessed, they do come with their fair and equal share of drama and baggages.
I'm jamming to one of my favorite songs off Queen Ariana's new Album "Fake smile" as I watch my Girlfriends walk in side by side into our regular hangout restaurant just close to school. Hold on a sec, let me introduce my Girls to ya.
Girlfriend No1 is Deborah Kingsley, age 18 going-to-be-19 by September, I know this because she never stops reminding everyone, apparently she's going to throw the biggest party ever and truth be said, I don't think anyone in class will show up because it's on the rough part of the Mainland; Ajegunle. But she claims their place is probably the coolest on thier part of the mainland, Deborah is the kind of girlfriend who seeks validation for any single thing she does and she thinks she's got to work extra hard to prove she's not the brokest girl in our group, Whatever that means though. She offers to pay for our meals even when we insist that it's fine and when she does, I always see the tension and realisation of how much she's dug too deep into her monthly allowance, hit her. I mean, we freaking tell you it's fine all the damn time but you keep saying "You've got it covered", so... Deborah is the girlfriend that listens to your boyfriend gist attentively, simply because she's plotting her own bombass story which we must all listen to. Can anyone relate?, She's light skinned, Caro white enhanced, but yeah, her skin looks good. She's got good hair but would rather rock braided wigs, and she's got a convenant with fake designer labels aka igbo made or Aba made, like my grandma likes to call them.
Girlfriend No2 is Tessy Balogun, aka, Miss know it all. She's the friend who's got an idea of every single thing you've ever felt, everywhere you've ever been and everything you've ever done. She knows it all. You think you've got malaria? Tessy was down with Malaria and Typhoid last week and it almost claimed her life. You think you've been to Elegushi? Oh, Queen Tessy spent her summer vacation there and even knows Oba Elegushi himself, Your boyfriend broke up with you? Tessy's boyfriend did the same last week but she forgot to tell us and only remembered just because you told us yours, I wouldn't want to tag Tess a liar and shi* but y'all must agree with me that she's got to calm down.
Personally, and when I say personally, i mean personally because I really don't think my opinion matter and all, but I think Tess is the most unattractive girl I've ever set my eyes upon, in fact, I think the only reason why we're friends is because she gives me hope. Her face is the kingdom of all Acne slash pimples , trust me, how do you want your pimple? Huge, tiny, juicy, dry, etc. Tess has got it all. She's got a maroon colored skin, I call it maroon cos sometimes I get confused, she's not fair and she's not also dark and she's nowhere near brown skinned. She's just... Maroon. Rumour has it that she's ruined her skin wall cells with cheap bleaching cream. And just has you might have guessed, Tess is the friend who's always got a story to tell.
Girlfriend No3 is Ruth Abey, well well well, where do I start from? Well, I'd say every girl has a Ruth Abey in their lives, Ruth is the cool friend, the one who doesn't have to talk much because her personality speaks for her, she's the one we all die to hear about her weekends and boyfriend drama from because they are always fun filled and non cliché, She's the type who doesn't rock designer labels much but when she does we all know it's genuine and that it definitely costed a fortune. She's the one we all say "yes" to, not because she's Queen bee or because she gets easily offended, but because we can't just find the inner courage within ourselves to say "no" to her, I mean, her friendship alone is a blessing to our group, she gets us into the coolest Friday parties and speaks to lecturers on our behalfs, she's even the reason why we've all got boyfriends at the moment. I think I'd simply say Ruth is the coolest kid in the world.
Girlfriend No4 is Gift I don't know her surname. Gift is the comedian, the one we all turn to when we need to laugh and forget our problems, she's also the girlfriend that helps threaten boys that intend to mess with our feelings and also compose romantic or legendary break up messages. Gift never has boyfriend drama to tender on the table, but we all know she's dating someone way older than her, we just don't like to mention it. How do I describe Gifts personal style, I'd say she's got a touch of every one of us, because she's addicted to raiding our closets even when we know she's doesn't need clothes, we literally lock and throw away the keys to our wardrobe whenever madam gift stops by and she can beg for Africa and Asia combined!
And There's Girlfriend No5; Me! I'm the one they all keep around to get things done, I'm the one who nods and shakes her head whenever a gist is flowing, Oh! i'm the one who gets invited last or never to a cool party, I'm the one who lends them cash and never ask for it back, I'm the one they never actually pay attention or listen to, I laugh when they laugh, I wait when they ask me to wait, I get to places like our hangout restaurant an hour and thirty minutes earlier because I'm obligated to save the best seats for my Girlfriends, I'm the one who keeps their stuff safe in my bag whenever they wanna turn up and get wasted, I book the Uber, I help lie to their boyfriends and sometimes, parents, I'm the girl who's crying for attention because she's losing her mind and is always contemplating suicide and I'm the one in need of girlfriends to take my mind off my issues, but do they care about me?, NO!