=ASHER's POV=
I woke up holding my head. I feel like it’s going to break in so much pain. I don't know why I have such a headache and I try to remember what happened last night. I am drunk I know but after that, I don't remember anything.
I shook my head to remember what had happened and suddenly I stopped.
'Shit, I hurt her,'
I rolled my eyes around the room. I remember everything now. I went crazy last night and throw all the belongings here but the surroundings were clean. There is no trace of any mess that happened last night and for sure Agatha cleaned it all.
I slowly got up as my head sank in excruciating pain. I got too drunk last night and did something I shouldn't have. I already remember what happened. I know what I’ve done. I just lost control of myself but everything was clear to me now.
I hurt Ashley too much. I never thought that in the extreme pain and jealousy I felt, anger would prevail over me. Anger came back in me when I remembered how she had left me before and she preferred to go with others. Alcohol brought me back to the pain of how she had left me down, and how I suffer because of her loss. So, when I saw her go with Eugene I felt not only jealousy but also anger.
I didn't mean for that to happen but I did. I never thought I could do that to her. I took care of her so much and worshiped her when we were still together but last night I hurt her so much that even I, I can't believe I did that. It seems that I am possessed, that I am not the one who did that. But, it is clear to me that I intentionally did it because of anger.
I hurt her to the point that she begged me to kill her.
And remembering what happened, it's more painful to me.
And now that I am ok. I'm the one who's hurt too much for what I've done.
I remained sitting on the bed while crying because of what I had done to her. Along with the fear that she might disappear from me forever. Maybe because of what I did to her last night, she will just disappear like a bubble and I won't be able to find her anymore.
I quickly got up and fix myself. I had to go to work even though my body was heavy. I need to see her in the office to make sure she doesn’t leave. I needed to be there so I could watch the time when she arrived.
I just let the water flow through my body to relieve my feelings for a while. I quickly dressed and immediately went downstairs when I met Agatha.
"Hey, I made a coffee for you,"
"I need to go." I am in a hurry while answering her.
"Wait, you haven't had breakfast yet,"
"I am in a hurry,"
"Why?"
"Agatha, please, I need to know if Ashley is coming to the office."
"Asher,"
"After what I did to her last night, I'm afraid she'll leave forever. I want to see her in the office." I heard her sigh then nod.
"Fine, take care, and drive safely,"
"Thanks," I just kissed her on the cheek then left.
While on my way I could not get rid of my nervousness. It's like I want to beat the red light every time I get caught.
I thought I was numb for her. I thought I would no longer feel pity for what she had done. I thought that she has no effect on me. But DAMN. Despite the sin she has committed there is still my desire to get her back and be my wife again. I can forgive her for the deception she committed. Even if she does that over and over again. As long as he just came back to me I will also repeatedly forget her sin. I will forget everything that happened and she will not hear anything from me.
I will tolerate her. I will admit wrongly the sins she has committed. What matters to me is she.
Obsession? No, I just love her and I understand her. I know here before I marry her and accepted her wholeheartedly. Before I love her, I know what kind of woman she is, and yet I chose to be with her. I accepted her and I promised that no matter what happened I would be on her side. So if she committed a mistake as a wife it was because she was not content with me and I did not fulfill my obligation, she would not be lost to me if I did my duties right.
Since the day she left, I blame myself every day. I was the one with the flaw so she left me. She would not have disappeared if I had done well as a husband. If I had just taken her on my business trip she would not have disappeared from my sight and tempted others.
I thought that I might have done something she didn't like so he was easily tempted by others. She doesn't like the way I treat her so it's easy for her to trade me or maybe she wanted something but I didn't give it to her and she found it in others. She just gathered it in her heart and when she found the opportunity then she left me.
Maybe that’s probably what happened. She would not leave me if I had done my responsibility. If only I had been a good husband we would still be happy. She wouldn't leave me if I really made her happy. She would not have tempted others if I had not failed.
Me, I am the one to blame and not her. I am the man so the responsibility and the happiness in our marriage are on my shoulders but I failed that is why she left. Because she wouldn’t have been able to leave me if I hadn’t missed and neglected.
So if there's anyone at fault here, it's me.
What's wrong with me and since the first time I saw her, I don't want her to be out of my sight. Despite everything I found out about her she was still the one I wanted to be with. She is still the one I love and will love for life.
I miss her.
I fucking miss her.
So I want to know if she will in the office today, she needs to come, or else I will going crazy more.