My son has not allowed me to rest, he does not stay still and he does not stop crying.
"Isn't the baby very fussy?" Randon frowns, my baby's crying frightens him. That’s what I see when I look at his face.
“Yes, he always gets angry and so on, but now he's much more sensitive and uncomfortable,” I take out my breast to feed him, but he just doesn't want to grab it, “I don't know what to do anymore. It's not the diaper, it's not the clothes, not the heat,” I get up to rock him.
"Daughter, check for fever." My mother hands me the thermometer, I place it under his little arm and wait, when the time is up, I look at the number he dials and I look at my mother in terror.
“Mom, he has a temperature of 40,” my nerves take over, my baby is not well.
“Let's go to a clinic daughter, we should go right away,” without waiting for anything else, we left home. I'm not looking for a wallet or anything else; I just want to take my son to a clinic.
“Quiet precious,” Randon tries to calm the atmosphere , “we'll get there, you'll see it's nothing serious .” My mother doesn't move away from me.
“Randon, accelerate the damn car,” I scream in panic, my son has vomited, “by God mom, son!” I shouted when I saw that he couldn't breathe after vomiting, “mom, he is breathing, my son ...” My mother takes him from my hands to pat him on the back, but my child gets more and more red.
“There's a clinic here, it's not the best but it's an emergency, come on down,” my friend parks in a forbidden place, blocking the passage of cars. The security guys approach but I don't pay attention.
"My son ...my son is not breathing, help me," I shout entering the small clinic, "please ...he is not breathing," I have never felt so much panic in my life, thinking that my son cannot breathe causes me to fear to the extreme.
“Quiet, here I am,” an auxiliary approaches my mother and takes the baby from her, when she sees him without saying anything, she runs out and goes into a room.
“What is wrong with my son? What's going on?” I can't calm down, I can't stop screaming, my whole existence trembles, I lose control, I'm afraid of what may be happening, “mom my son …” the tears start trailing down my cheeks, “they won't let me go with my baby and I want to be with him,” my mother hugs me tightly, she's shaking just like me.
“Quiet my love, he will be fine, you must calm down,” I do not understand how she asks me that, I do not understand how she can tell me that everything is fine when my son was taken urgently and they do not let me pass, “we are grateful that this clinic was close. It would be another story if it were not like this.” The minutes pass and for me, they are eternal, my chest hurts from the uncertainty I have, this cannot be happening to him, not to my son.
"Shit, they don't stop fucking with me ... damn it," Randon comes in, angry, "I've been fined for parking the fucking car like that. Doesn’t he realize it was an emergency?” My friend, when he saw my state, he shut his mouth and sat next to me to hug me, “Kahin is coming here.” I don't listen to him, I honestly only worry about my son. After a while I hear a voice.
"Miss," I hear what someone say, but I don't look, I'm in a shock because of everything that's happening, “are you the mother of the baby that arrived an hour ago?" Hearing that brings me out of the trance and I immediately get up.
“Yes, it's me. Where is my son? How is it going? Why isn't he crying anymore?” I attack the doctor with questions, my mother takes me by the arm and takes me away from the man.
"Come with me please," I don't like his look and his worried voice.
"Come on daughter, we must go," mom encourages me.
"Only the mother can come." Hearing that makes my heart race.
"Where is my son?" Hearing Kahin's thick voice startles me, looking at his terrified face almost leaves me astonished at his reaction. "What's wrong?" He asks looking at the doctor.
"I have to talk to the lady,” he answers.
“Come on baby, we must hear what happens,” the doctor who is only a little taller than me looks at the tower that rises in front of him.
"Only the lady can enter."
Kahin looks at him from his height and his face of terror and fear changes to one of anger, “he's my son and I'm going in too, I won't leave her or my baby alone."
The doctor looks at me when Kahin hugs me, “okay, I'm just going to ask you to calm down and take everything easy," those words are the same as burns, it's as if my body is on fire from the inside.
"Come on Sweet," Kahin takes my hand and I press his, I need it more than ever, our son needs us. Walking into the doctor's office, I'm terrified that he hasn't taken us to see our son sooner.
"Where is my son? Can you save him?” The start falling again, in my life I never imagined that a heart can hurt so much and that a fear could be so powerful.
“I need you to calm down, your son is fine,” listening to that relaxes me, but I cry more, I don't know what I would have done if I had lost my son.
"Baby, you should calm down," Kahin speaks to me in a stern voice, there is nothing tender. "Putting yourself like this won't help at all. The important thing here is to know what is happening with our son and thus know how to take action. Understood?” Understanding what he means, I nod and swallowed my tears.
“First of all, your wife and you should be calm,” I bite my lip when I hear that, “your son has bronchiolitis, it’s a disease of the respiratory tract. It occurs when tiny pathways called 'bronchioles' contract a viral infection. These airways become inflamed, swollen, and filled with mucus, which can make it difficult to breathe. This is more dangerous in babies as small as yours, as they are smaller and easier to block. Has the child recently had a cold or been exposed to serene?”
Instinctively, I look at Kahin who is already looking at me, I look back at the doctor to answer, the brunette's gaze is the least thing that can worry me right now, “yes ...yes ...he had a cold recently, more than 2 weeks ago I took him to his pediatrician in Italy and everything was fine, but yesterday, I left very late and I was with him. It wasn't an easy night,” I remember all the hours we spent at the DA.
“Well, the child must be under observation; he has to be treated with nebulization and treatments. The fever is under control and he has not vomited again, from what I deduce that it was just a reaction that there is no need to worry about,” hearing that breaks my soul, Kahin presses my hand more, we did not expect that. My baby hospitalized? “I suggest you take him to America, it is the best hospital with specialized pediatricians.” How can my baby go through all this so tiny? My chin trembles, announcing my tears.
"I'll call the ambulance to make the transfer," Kahin says and I look at him.
"We can put it, you just have to pay," says the doctor.
"Easy, the insurance company will run with everything." He lets go of my hand and gets up.
"Can you take me to my son?" The doctor gets up and I follow him. When I go to take Kahin's hand, he refused, that really hurts, but I don't care, now I only have to worry about the well-being of my baby. Without caring, I get in his way and get ahead of him.
When I get to the little room where they have my baby, a sob escapes from my throat. My baby is awake with a small board tied to his little arm. "What is that?" I ask, approaching him.