Without much drama, I go straight home from school. I don't wait to hear from the owner of the school, attend the assembly, or Any sh*ts. I just tell Nathan goodbye and head home with a bike.
When I get home, my parent doesn't let me rest. From asking if I ate well, to if I drank good water, to if I slept well, and of course if I had any attack. Of course, there is no way in hell I'm telling them about that. Just as you expect, I lie of course.
After a whole hour of Bummi telling me how much she missed me and how much of my chocolates she's eaten, I am finally left alone in the room. Left alone to peace to reminisce over the earlier events of the day.
I sit on my bed and take out my diary. I begin to pour my mind into it. I don't realize I am crying till teardrop land on a page of the book. I try to push back the tears but to no avail. I can't even think straight. I need to cry.
I quickly undress and with my towel wrapped around my chest, I head straight Into my thinking room.
Once in the bathroom, I lock the door and turn on the shower. Not just to take a bath, but to drown out the sound of my sobs.
Why, Why am I crying?
'Oh I don't know, maybe because the boy you have been swooning over, gave you the embarrassment of a lifetime, your secret just got exposed, you just lost your best friend. AGAIN TO SILVIA.
Half the school probably sees you as a joke while the others would look at you with sympathy from now on, you once again lost to that cunning bi*ch and maybe also because you have got no fu*king form of support in your messed up life!' My subconscious replies to the question I asked earlier.
What the f*CK just happened? I didn't just lose all did I? Honestly, I am crying without control. Seeing me now, one would think I am crying over a miscarriage I had.
The pain I feel is inexplicable. I don't even know if it's justified. Why would Victor say such things to me? I swear I didn't see that coming. I thought I was his friend. I mean, I wander back to the first day we met. Looking at us, one would think we had something going there.
I understand he said he didn't like me. He made it very clear the other day on the football field, but what was the need to embarrass the s*it out of me in front of everyone? I honestly don't know how I could keep from crying back there. How could any human be so cruel? All I did was have a crush on him.
He called me a liar, he said I wasn't his friend, all in all, he called me a pest. I mean... WTF!!! How could he?
So I was just being delusional. Only I felt what I thought WE felt. How dumb was I?
Do you know that feeling when all you expected and hoped for doesn't happen but instead the tables get turned?
It's like getting a note from your crush asking you to be his val date and on Valentine's day, you find him making out with your worst enemy in the school hallway!
I decide to turn the shower off and use the tub. I need to lay in the water. I turn the tap on and warm water begins to fill the tub.
My mind drifts off to the first day I met Victor. How he held my hands, how he wanted to attend my classes, how easy it was for us to laugh and flow, and how excited I was to tell Faith about him.
When the tub is full, I carefully step inside it as any mistake could be costly. I lay in the tub and then I do what I enjoy doing a lot. Something I am sure people would freak about if they find out.
I keep sliding gently till my hair is in the water and then a little further till my head is below the water. I don't close my eyes.
I can maintain this position for about 2-3 minutes. So while at it, I just let my mind drift off. Once my lungs are tired and feel like they are about to explode, I come out of the water and take deep breaths.
After all my thinking and crying, I conclude;
What else could happen that's worst than this? Perhaps fate took that question as a challenge.
The next day in school, Faith has been giving me the silent treatment. WTF! I mean, to be honest, only I have the right to be mad for what she had done.
Victor didn't attend school today and for the first time in forever, I am happy about that. The day goes by with me and Nathaniel talking and the rest of school feels irrelevant with him around. He is the perfect treatment I need to get away from all that happened yesterday.
At lunch, Edna come to me;
"Hey sis" she greets
"Hey" I reply dryly
"How are we doing? " She questions
"We are holding up fine," I reply with a forced chuckle.
" Nice. So have you spoken to Faith? " she asks raising a brow. We both know she knows the answer to that question but she has a reason for asking.
"No! Should I? " I reply sternly as I stab a piece of fried plantain in my plate with my fork.
"Hmm. You do know she is leaving right? " she asks with her gaze fixed on every other thing around her but my eyes.
"What? " I question in disbelief. Nearly choking on the chunk of fried egg in my mouth.
"I said she is leaving soon" she replies again. This time focusing on her folded hands which are on her lap.
"What do you mean she is leaving soon? Edna, is this a joke? "I quiz in shock and desperation for her answer to be 'yes I am joking'
" What part do you not understand? Is it the leaving or the soon part? And secondly, do you think my sense of humor is that bad? " she asks staring into my face.
"No, it's just, she never told me. How could she do that? I mean we are best friends...Or were! "I reply alarmed and hurt. Adding the last part while rolling my eyes.
"Look, I don't know what's up with you guys and I'm not sure I wanna get involved. All I know is, you have got to sort out the differences between you two else no one going to be left happy," she states looking straight into my eyes. She wants her words to sink in.
"When did you find out? " I ask returning her gaze as a pang of betrayal begins to form in my heart.
"Her mom called to inform her two days ago. She was gonna tell you till, well, whatever this happens," she replies diverting most of her attention to the bottle of Lacasera before her.
"What? Okay, when is she leaving? " I question as I want to know how close I am to losing my only form of support.
" Think you should talk to her to find that out, but all I can say is, soon enough," she replies as she stands up.
She presses her lips into a straight line to show sympathy and the finality of our conversation.
I watch as she peacefully walks away and I am left alone to my thoughts. Yes, I am mad at Faith but she has no right to be mad at me. Okay maybe she does and that's only about the asthma shit. Why else could or would she be mad?
Keeping malice is something I can go on doing for a very long time, but with this new development, I will have to swallow my pride and talk to her. She can't just leave like that. For all I care, she may be leaving tomorrow.
I get up to go find my best friend after clearing the table. About three minutes later, I finally find her in the vocabulary lab with her sister. After greeting her sister, she excuses, Faith and I
"Hey," I call blankly
"Yeah, Hey" Faith replies with a mild shrug.
"What's up? " I question. Deliberately ignoring the gesture.
" My best friend trying to make a conversation with me and act like we are okay whereas she fucked up big time and there is nothing currently cool between us. " She replies looking out the window in front of her.
Wait, what?
"Huh? " I question in anger. Not so she can repeat herself but to let my objection known to her.
"What the f*CK do you mean by that? You fucked up! You sold me out to Silvia and Victor! " I scream
" oh, okay. Now let me list your offenses. You never told me you kissed Nathaniel, you never told me what victor did to you, you never took my advice, and worst... You never told me about your asthma! " She shouts at my face.
She every word catch me off guard but what hits me is the very first she stated.
"How did you know about the kiss? " I ask in awe.
"Silvia saw you guys once and Victor did on a different occasion. I honestly don't care whom you see or what you chose to do with your life but why did you have to lie to me and keep me in the dark?
Silvia was saying so much nonsense about you and I could not defend you because she claimed there is so much you've done recently that I don't know.
I kept blindly defining you and said you would never have told Victor that you liked him. To prove me wrong she brought the cafeteria idea and with much confidence, I accepted the challenge. Expecting you to prove me right but you did the total opposite and made Silvia right over me! That hurt you know?
The fact that I no longer know my best friend. You made me feel like an idiot! " she narrates in anger
As much as I want to feel her pain, I just can't. To avoid further trouble and scandal, I decided to go with the flow and apologize.
"I am sorry Faith, I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't know you saw it that way and about the Nathan stuff..." She raises a questioning brow at me.
"What? "I question.
"Nothing" she replies.
"About that, I would explain every single sh*t to you okay. First, tell me, are you leaving? " I question.
She looks up at me and her reply practically makes my lungs fail.