Everything seemed to blur in front of his eyes. Did she not feel anything when he'd kissed her that morning? Did she not feel anything when he had held her through that night and never left her side?
What was he supposed to do?
He sat there just crying his eyes out, for all the reasons he knew he was never going to be able to say.
Natalia walked out of her room. The sun had started to set outside, and the house that Axton rarely ever illuminated was cast in partial darkness.
She walked across the hallway like she could wait forever to get to him, and towards Axton's closed door. From outside, she could hear Axton's choking voice, and the creaks of the door as It shook under his spasming body.
She sat on the other side of the door, her hair falling behind her. The small smile on her face as she stared off into the darkness, and her hand as she brought her knees to herself.
"This is close enough," She said to herself.
She heard as the crying stopped, and it only made her smile grow a little wider. Maybe it really was close enough.
Suddenly, the door opened, and Axton stood in front of her. He felt a little dizzy from the rapid beat of his heart, and he watched as Natalia traced her eyes to where the beat was coming from.
"Have you been crying?" She asked, letting her eyes trace the tears on the sides of his face.
"Why would I?"
She nodded. "Why would you?" Her eyes took in his clenched fists, and the mess he had made of his hair. "I will excuse you now, Axton."
She turned around, giving herself a minute or two to breathe. Before she could take her first step, however, Axton held her arm back.
He stepped towards her, feeling his own tears run down his cheek and knowing she could see it.
"Do not give up on me, Natalia. I do not know what I would do if you do. How do I...let myself be that man you crave if I know you do not even expect a thing from me? How am I to live with myself?"
She sighed and moved closer, then wiped his face with her thumb. His eyes closed on their own, and he willingly baited his breath.
"It is so unlike you, Axton. You are so different."
"I think I have been different for a very long time, and through it, I was hoping you would notice."
Her lips twitched but she tried to control it, knowing she should be in control. She should have him wanting to admit just where he intended to keep her, and what he wanted her to occupy in his life.
"I will retire to my room now, then."
"Please, no." He looked down at his feet that he had been tapping silently on the mahogany floor, his body feeling heavy. "Stay with me."
His eyes widened a little at his own words, but he did not take them back.
"Why? As the homeless girl who has no one else but you?"
He shook his head. "As...as..."
She smiled and removed his hand from her arms. "I will be back when you can answer that straightforward. Without stammering or second guessing. Till then." With that she walked away, leaving him standing and facing the large window, the strands of his hair that had fallen to his forehead turned into gold by the broken sunlight.