Natalia waited till he felt a little better, then she raised his head so he would look her.
"Do not make me become confident...that you are scared of losing me." She said, hoping he would make her confident.
He was sometimes aloof, sometimes close, sometimes distant. It messed with her mind, and she just hoped he would help her out. Help her by loving her. Help her by making her confident.
"I should not do that, right?" He asked her, then slowly removed her hands from his cheeks.
"It all...depends on you, really." She said, then started to move away. She needed to distract herself from the prospect of him not wanting her in the same blind, mindless way she did.
Alpha Axton held her back by her arm, then held her hand with his free hand.
"What if..what if that is what I want to do?" He asked her sincerely, his voice a low whisper.
"Then I will not stop you." She replied.
He pulled her back to him, his hand moving against the skin of her neck upwards towards her cheek. It was so slow, it was like he wanted to memorize the feel of her skin on his palm as he went, then finally cupped her cheek.
She closed her eyes, her heart beating wildly as he leaned forward. She baited her breath, waiting for him.
He suddenly released her, however, and moved back. She needed to know. Seeing it would be worse. She needed to know.
"I have something to tell you." He said, keeping his hand away.
"Tell me." Her voice carried a little tinge of disappointment for the fact that he hadn't kissed her, but she was still ready to listen to him.
"Your father..." He looked up at her and swallowed. "Your father...when we came last night...I found him in his room."
"You did? Where did he go to then? What did you talk about?"
He shook his head. "We did not talk at all."
Confusion made her tilt her head slightly to the right. "Why? Was he asleep?"
"I wish he was, Natalia. You have to look into my heart and see just how much I wish he was asleep."
Fear started to show in her eyes, as her wide eyed expression gradually turned into a frown.
"I do not understand, Axton. What are you saying?" She touched his shoulder to get him to look at her, and he did.
"When we came home last night...he was in his room. And...and..."
"And?"
"And. .." He closed his eyes tightly. "And he was dead."
There was a bit of silence after he said it. He could only hear her breath, and the rapid beating of her heart.
It felt uncomfortable, silence like that. He kept his eyes closed, his breath stuck in his throat.
"What do you mean dead?" She asked. He almost didn't recognize the cold emotionless steel in her voice. She was always someone who had emotions, some sort of emotions brewing at the back of her voice, brewing within her so you could see it in her eyes...
She always had emotions coloring the canvas of her soul. He wondered just how blank her soul was at this moment for her to sound like that.
"Last night...you fell asleep in my arms. We came in, and it was all dark. I kept you here to sleep and...I went to check on your father because he...I did not think he was such a heavy sleeper. I walked into the room and..." He swallowed, averting her eyes. "He was lying lifeless and cold."
His voice dropped an octave lower as he said it.
Without any warning, he felt a slap on his right cheek, and his face swerved violently to the left.
He closed his eyes and bit down on his lip, before turning back to her.
She looked angry, but her eyes were filled with tears. "Why did you not wake me up? When you saw him like that, why did you not run like a man who has lost his mind and told me?!"
He swallowed again, making his voice lower so he wouldn't agitate her more.
"I wanted you to rest after such a long night."
She slapped him again, and this time the tears he had been holding back in his eyes spilled directly to the floor.
"You are telling me I slept comfortably in a house while my father was lying dead in the next room? Does that make sense to you?! What kind of rest would I have needed?"
He finally looked up at her, then reached out for her hand and enclosed it in his. It was warm, like every time she touched him. It was also small, like every tine she held his hand. But today, he was holding her hand, hoping she didn't let herself fall over the edge.
"I am sorry, Natalia. I am so sorry."
She lowered her head, her stiffened body relaxing as she gave way to the tears. She held her in her palm as the tears streamed down in torrents, her body shaking violently.
"How could I not have known? What if I had not come home last night?" She cried, her head finally coming to rest on his chest.
If she hadn't, Nicholas would probably be alive.
Natalia suddenly stood and jumped off the bed, then started to run towards Nicholas' room. Alpha Axton followed after her, and just before she succeeded in opening the door, he barred it.
"Please, Natalia. Just cry all you want here, but please do not go inside." He held her hand again, his eyes pleading.
She looked at him, her grip on his hand tightening as she squeezed down on his hand in an attempt to stop her tears.
It was the hand he had burnt from trying to protect her, and with the force of her grip, it bled. She would probably never know it bled and he knew he wouldn't care to tell her either.
"Why should I not? My father is in there, dead! Why do you get to be the last person to see him? Is his face damaged? Is his face mutilated? What happened?"
He slowly brought her into his arms, wrapping his bloodied hand around her.
"It is too lifeless, Natalia. I just want you to remember your father as the soulful person you fell in love with the very first day you were born."
For sometime they just stood there, her body held in his arms as she cried into his bare shoulder, her nails digging into his burnt, scarred back, her sobs wetting his skin.
He held her through the pain she didn't know she was inflicting on him, and the emotional turmoil he felt from the effect of their mate bond, till her body lost strength and she gave way under him.