I
Sophie's P.O.V.
I don't know what's going on, but I don't like it.
I feel so cold.
So cold and so terribly, terribly lonely.
I have been stuck in this space for a while now, and I don't like it. It's dark and I haven't found a single corner or a wall yet.
It's like I've been sent into an endless black space with nobody but myself.
I've been very lonely ever since.
Oddly, the coldness seems to be unable to snuck into my right hand; from there, a certain warmth radiates and I'm so grateful for it.
It's the thing that's keeping me from just laying on the ground and crying.
This past time since I've been here, I've been playing some movies or just parts of a movie in my mind. I don't know where it comes from and I don't know anybody in it, but myself.
It seems that I have the main role in this movie and a boyfriend or something; I'm not sure, we're always fighting and it seems as if we hate each other, until we kiss.
It's a weird relationship.
However, I noticed that my boyfriend in this movie happens to be extremely good looking, with his brown locks that he sometimes puts in a bun, and his tattoos and perfect face. Considering his looks, I don't blame myself for acting so childish at the moment, I'm sure I'd be just as flustered as her if I was actually with that guy.
Just as I shake my head and decide that I should juat go to sleep and stop thinking about it, a new part starts playing in my mind.
Exited, I sit up straight and focus on the images.
Oh, look at him. He seems to be dressed differently in this episode; he's actually wearing a white button-up and black pants and he looks handsome as hell.
I seem to be standing in the staircase in the house which I think is my home, and the people who I learned were my parents are watching him with amazed and angry expressions.
Is he crazy? They'll kill them both!
He looks at my father nervously and gulps. "Good evening, sir. I had come to ask for your permission to take your daughter out."
I gasp at the scene, wrapping my arms around me to feel even slightly warmer, and continue watching the episode greedily.
***
"Sir, I know this is difficult for you, but I need to ask you to leave once more." the small nurse nervously says and I groan out loud.
You'd think they would figure out that I'm not going anywhere by the third time I said no.
"You need to take care of yourself as well and besides, you're in doctor's way when he's examining her or others. She's not waking up very soon and-"
"I'm not going anywhere." I say with a low voice, meaning it.
They would literally need to drag me out of here and then outfight me, which I think would be quite fucking hard.
I hear her exhaparated sigh and her steps moving down the hall, leaving me alone with Sophie and other irrelevant patients in the room.
Honesly, I probably look like absolute crap, not having either slept or eaten anything in the past two days since the accident happened.
I've been sitting here, holding ber small hand, ever since she came out of that fucking surgery room, with the exeption of fucking running to the bathroom to piss and then running back.
Though no matter how fucked-up I look, she looks much, much fucking worse.
There's bandages on the places I thought it's impossible to have a bandage, and one place like this is her stomach.
Any mention of her stomach these past few days was the most fucking painful thing I ever had to go through.
Well, not exactly her stomach, more so her uterus.
It was obvious that she lost the baby when I saw her laying on that pavement unconscious, but I didn't want to believe it.
I was hoping for some fucking miracle, but I should've fucking known that it was in vain.
I should be happy that at least she's still alive, even if she's in coma.
"Axel..." I hear the familiar voice and I sigh, knowing what the fuck this is about already.
I'm not fucking leaving her, and I don't give a fuck about what anyone has to say, I have no fucking idea how they haven't figured it out yet.
"Don't even say it." I warn him, and he lets out a breath and puts his palm on my shoulder.
"I can't believe this happened."he begins, and I squeeze my eyes shut.
I can't fucking cry anymore.
"You know when I said you remind me of someone?" coach asks and I don't respond.
I honestly couldn't give less shit about it at the moment.
"Well, you reminded me of myself. I fucked up a lot in my life as well, ran from US and started boxing. I had that same attitude as you." he tells me and I just nod in answer.
He doesn't say anything for a few moments, but keeps his hands on my shoulders.
"But now, seeing you like this, I know I was wrong. You're not like me, I'm not half as strong as you are. If this happened to Beatrice-" his voice breaks and I squeeze my eyes harder.
If he's trying to make this easier for me, he's using the wrong fucking technique.
"The point is, there's no way I'd be as strong as you are and I'm proud of you." he finishes and I roll my eyes.
Is he an idiot or something?
"Are you fucking blind? Do you not fucking see the state I'm in? This is not fucking strong, it's the weakest I've ever been." I whisper-shout at him.
"No, Axel, I think you sitting here and taking it all in as calmly as possible is very strong. I don't think I would even be able to keep myself alive." he replies and I chuckle darkly.
"Oh, and I'm doing such a great job at that." I say, referring to my lack of sleep and eating.
Coach sighs and I'm pretty fucking glad he doesn't reply to me.
We stand like that in silence for a few moments before I can't take it anymore and decide it's time to tell him.
I use the hand which is not holding Soph's to pull the box with the ring out of my pocket, and I push it into coach's hand.
He takes it in silence, opening it up.
"I was about to propose." I say. "It's why she's laying here right now. It's my fault, you know. I was being a dick to her like always when I'm keeping something from her, so we had an argument and she ran off straight in front of that fucking car."
They could barely save the driver from me attacking him; the asshole locked himself up in the car while four men held me back.
He's lucky they did, otherwise he'd be a dead man right now.
"This is not your fault, it was an accident, Axel." coach sighs.
"Don't try to change my fucking mind on this, okay? I know it's my fucking fault and that's why I'll spend the rest of my life paying for that. That is, if she makes it." I tell coach.
"She will. She has to." coach says. "Come boy, at least go home to take a shower and then you can come back here if you want. Soph will kill me when she wakes up if she finds out I let you be like this. Do it for her, okay?" he tries to persuade me and surprisingly, it works.
I stand up and glance at him. "Just give me a minute and I'll be out."
He nods and leaves the room.
I hold her hand with both of mine, careful as if she's made of china.
"I love you. I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me." I whisper in her ear, and kiss her forehead. "Stay tough, my little one. Your angel will be right back."
With those words, I let go of her small hand, laying it beside her and leave, praying that she'll be alright.