XLV
I bolt up, pushing Axel off of my breasts, where his head always seems to end up. He groans and opens his eyes, to see my dad fuming under my doorway.
"Fuck." he whispers to himself, closing his eyes. Dad storms towards us and pulls the covers from above us, revealing me in Axel's shirt and Axel in his boxers.
He doesn't speak a word, but he doesn't have to; his face says it all.
He is disgusted with me.
I swallow the lump forming in my throath. "Dad-" I choke out but his glare stops me from speaking any further. "Who are you?" he whispers, rage, disgust and disappointment all over his face.
"I'm sorry-"
"You're sorry?! You're sorry?! You're not sorry, Sophie. You don't realize what you're doing, whoring around with this poor excuse of a man."
Tears form in my eyes. Never has my dad ever raised his voice at me or insulted me.
"You will not speak to your daughter like that." Axel says, his voice low, dangerous.
My dad laughs. "Oh really? And you'll stop me? What are you even doing here with her? Do you think she'll stay with you?" He laughs again. "Come on, kid. Even you should be smarter than that. Sophie isn't dumb, she knows what's good for her and she knows you can't offer her that."
"Stop it, dad." I say.
"What the hell is going on-" mother storms in my room to see everything unraveling. Her expression turns surprised, but after a few moments, it turns completely broken, disappointed.
"Sophie-" she breathes out and I squeeze my eyes shut, standing up to walk to her.
I move close enough, lifting my arms to hug her but she steps back from me, rejecting me. It feels like my heart has broken in half.
"Mum-" I breathe, tears slowly bringing out of my eyes.
"I supported you, Sophie, you know I did, but this- this is too much."
"It's not my fault that I love him!"
My dad laughs. "You don't love him! You have no idea what love is!"
"And how do you know that?!" I ask, stomping my foot.
"Because it's obvious!" dad shouts. "You two simply don't belong together! Just look at you two! You look ridiculous!"
"Oh so it's because of the image?! That's what this is about?! Well, dad, not all of us are so blind that we only have to rely on our sight!" I shout, knowing he'll understand the not-literal meaning.
He glares at me. "You will not see him anymore."
Now, Axel joins in, standing up beside me. "No way."
"You get the fuck out of my house! If I ever see you with her again, I'll kill you!" dad shouts and points with his finger to the door.
"You can't expect that from me." I tell dad. "I won't leave him just because you don't like him."
At those words, Axel grabs my hand and we stand, together, making me realize that this war is not only on me to fight, but on him too. Dad looks at our intertwined hands and then looks at me.
"You're not my daughter. Get out."
Mother gasps. "Are you mad?!"
"She brought this upon herself. Come on, since you think you are grown up enough to whore around, I'm sure you can find yourself a place to stay at."
"You're kicking me out?" I whisper. This is beyond anything I imagined.
Dad lifts his brow. "I offered you a choice to stay away from him, but you declined. This is my house, I don't have to stand seeing him here. I don't see any other way out." With that, he leaves my room, leaving the mess behind him.
Mum stands agape, her mouth wide open, looking at me and where my dad went, then back at me, before storming after him. Soon, their arguing shouts spread through the entire house.
I stand still, not moving, just watching my world fall apart.
I've just been kicked out of my house. My dad has kicked me out of my house. My hands start to shake, and breathing seems like an incredibly hard thing to do.
"Sophie, calm down." his soothing voice not helping a lot, but it's still him.
Had it been anyone else, I would push them away, but I know that I can't do that to him.
So, I let his big hands wrap around me, his naked chest holding me to him.
"I-I have to pack, I have to pack my things." I tell myself and leave his arms.
I begin to mindlessly roam around my room, grabbing everything I think I would need with my trembling hands, trying hard to control my breathing.
Axel stands there, watching me pack, his brows slightly furrowed and I wonder what's going on in his head. "We're gonna get through this, okay. You'll live with me, you don't have to worry about being homeless. I have enough money for food and-" he rambles
"Axel! I can't live with you!" I interrupt him. "We're not even dating! We've known each other for a month!"
His frown deepens. "So what? Where else are you gonna go?"
I let out a breath. "I-I'm gonna ask Amber-"
"No, you won't. You're staying with me. Now cut it out." he says, his deep voice not to be argued with. "Here, let me help you. You sit down." he coutinues and wraps his long digits around my wrist, sitting me down on my bed, while he goes to the bathroom to grab my things. My body is still shaking when he returns and he looks at me with worry.
"Is it okay with you if I don't pack your books? I have the same books, anyway, just different editions."
"Okay." I nod, and cover my face with my hands, breathing heavily to stop myself from breaking down. I must be such a horrible person, my own father couldn't stand living under the same roof as me.
He had expected so much from his daughter. He wanted kids so bad. And then he got me, the biggest disappointment of his life.
My body shakes uncontrollably and I hear Axel pull the zipper on my travelling bag. I feel him kneel in front of me and put his hands on my knees.
"Hey, baby, can you put your pants on?"
I open my eyes, and see he has knickers and black sweatpants in his hand for me. He is already dressed. I nod and stand up, shakily putting on the clothes. He stands up as well and trails his fingers up from my palms to my shoulders, where he slowly starts to massage.
He breathes out. "I'm sorry. I transported all my fucked-upness onto you."
I shake my head. "No, it's not your fault."
He snorts. "Of course it is. I came to your room last night."
"And I let you, Axel. This is my fault, I don't want you to feel guilty."
"But I do." he insists. "Will you please come to my place? It'll help me feel less guilty." He gives me puppy eyes and my shoulders slunch.
I take a deep breath. "Okay, but only for today until I find somewhere else to stay."
"Why don't you want to be at my place?"
"Because I'll feel like a burden, Axel."
He frowns. "We'll talk about it."
"Come, let's go." I say and walk to my bag, lifting it up to carry it, but of course Axel snatches it from me and puts it over his shoulder. I give him a look.
"What? You're too small for it, it looked like the bag was gonna crush you."
I roll my eyes and take his hand and my purse with my absolute necessities and a school bag with my school stuff, the rest of the notebooks are in my school locker. He leads me down the stairs. My mum is in the kitchen, crying her eyes out, my dad nowhere to be seen. When she sees me, she hurries up to me and tightly hugs me.
"He's an idiot, darling, you don't have to leave. I love you so much, Sophie, I'll change his mind, I promise. He isn't thinking straight right now because of the anger." she rambles, completely in tears.
"It's okay, mum, I love you, too. I'll manage somehow and I'll come back when he cools off." I promise and she whines and hugs me tighter. She points a finger at Axel. "You! You take good care of her, okay?"
He nods. "Of course, ma'am."
She looks at me, pouting as tears flow. "I love you, Sophie, don't forget that. We'll work around this somehow."
She reaches in her pocket and pulls out a stack of money.
"Here, take this." she pushes it in my hand.
"Mom-"
"No, I don't want to hear it. Just, take care of yourself, okay? I'll stay in contact."
I nod and hug her again. "Thank you, mommy. I love you."
"I love you, too, Sophie. Stay with Axel, okay?"
I nod. "I will."
She pulls away, squeezes my shoulders and I offer her a weak smile.
I look up at Axel and pull him by his hand with me to put on shoes and a jacket. He follows me and with the last glance at my mum and at our house, I exit the house in which I don't belong anymore.