I am appalled at the things Jerol has been keeping to himself. We have been sitting on the floor of this gym for almost an hour now and all I can is, his story is quite a deep and confusing one. Then things he has told me are saddening.
Apparently, he has been yearning to marry for the longest time but women leave him because of a condition. Ever heard of low sperm count? I hope I said it right because I know nothing about it. You know, the real miss dumbass. I have never even gotten this close to a man before so how am I supposed to know about sperm and all the sex stuff? Don't tell me about biology because I think I burned my school memory together with my notes the day I said goodbye to high school. That aside.
So when Ellie accepted him despite his condition, for him to be sure that his marriage will her will not have problems, they opted for a process before marriage. It was a success, and he felt the world in his arms when they received the news. Unfortunately, Ellie suffered an accident a month later that led to the miscarriage which she blamed Jerol for until her disappearance. Cruel, right.
He hasn't given the details of the accident and why she blamed him to a point of leaving him, but I understand. There are things that are too personal to tell me right now. I respect that.
He has lost all hope of holding a baby in his arms, an heir to his multi-billion empire that is now collapsing due to negligence. He lost the love of his life. It seems like he has no reason to live again. I understand his dilemma and state of hopelessness. I understand his pain, but he has his company to keep him going. Besides, it's not like he is completely impotent, right?
"I'm sorry, for all that Jerol, honestly." I mumble.
"It's alright. Thanks for listening."
"You don't have to thank me. It's nothing. On the contrary, thank you for opening up to me."
"I'm not weak, okay. I just..."
"Sshh..." I shush him, placing my arms on his thighs. "You are strong, Jerol. It's just that there is always too much of what one can bear. Your story is quite a sad one, but it's not the end of the world. Shutting yourself off isn't the solution." I console.
"What is left for me, Tessa?"
"A lot more. Your empire and..."
"An empire? What is the use of all this wealth and luxury if I can not have even a single child to inherit it? Why..."
"For yourself, Jerol, and who said you can not have another child?" I implore, climbing to his lap and cupping his face.
He stares into my eyes, and I stares back sternly, reading the pain in his. It's so evident. I wonder how he was able to hide it for so long to a point of breaking him this much.
"Jerol, I'm sure there is a woman out there who will be willing to go through everything with you. You still have a chance."
"It is not easy, Tessa. There is no guarantee even for that examination. I am tired of women walking away from me after I explain my condition. I can't handle it."
"The right one is out there, Jerol, and you need to find her. The one who will love you for who you are. Don't dwell on those who left. And stop being so negative."
"You sound like an old philosopher."
That made me chuckle. Old? How old am I?
"Philosophy never loses meaning."
He sighs without saying a word. He is not convinced at all, but I am glad he doesn't look so uptight. The load was taking a toll on him.
"Why don't we make a deal?" I query after a moment of silence, earning his attention.
"We are already in a deal." He states.
"You made that with Gracia. This one will be between you and me."
"Okay. What is it?" He asks.
"You know, the millions that you paid me are still lying in my account. I still don't know what I'm gonna do with it, but it will change my life for good - Forever. You changed my life, Jerol. I will never know poverty again all thanks to you. For that reason alone, I want to make a change in your life too however small it might be. Let me help you heal from this. Please."
"You've already done too much, Tessa. I have put you through hell for the longest period you have been here. I can never repay you for that pain you bore. And what's worse," he pulls my hands from his face, taking his to my face instead, "these scars, they..."
"Let's put that behind us, Jerol. There is no need to dwell on this. We get scars once in a while. Some go away, and some don't. Simple."
"What if yours will not, Tessa? They will always remind you of this beast."
"Not if the pain will be worth it in the end, Jerol. There are what we call beautiful scars. And I want mine to be exactly that type."
He stares at me for minutes as if I have lost my mind. I know exactly how I sound. Like a lunatic, right? But I swore to help in any way.
"Nothing can justify these, Tessa. What possibly can make them become beautiful scars?"
"If you let me help you. If I manage to bring back the old Jerol O'Brian McCall that everyone knew, the real Jerol that I have not yet met, then I will be a happy soul. My scars will be worth all this pain."
"Alright. But even if you don't manage to, I want you to know that you have done way so much for me. I will never forget you, Tessa McCall."
McCall! He will never forget me? As just Tessa Angeline or Tessa McCall?
"Even when I drop the borrowed title?"
"The title doesn't change a thing about you, Tessa Angeline. With or without it, you will always, always, be remembered."
I nod my head, looking away because his gaze is about to make me start blushing. It's the effect of us being this close and free with each other. I was used to him pushing me away everything I attempted to touch him. Or snuggling to me only when he mistook me for Ellie. I never thought he would ever talk to me so openly and freely.
"Thank you for that scolding you gave me, by the way. It was harsh, but it knocked some sense into me." He speaks as we stand up, standing face to face.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you like that." I apologise with all sincerity. I am of the opinion that men should always be respected no matter the circumstances. Unless, of course, they themselves behave disrespectfully.
"I deserved it. I realy needed it."
"I still feel bad about it."
"Don't."
"Okay. So, deal? I swear not to fail?" I tease, straightening my right hand to him for a handshake.
He smirks, offering me his which I shake just slightly to avoid hurting his bandaged wounds.
"Deal." He affirms.
"And the deal starts now!" I tease, pulling him out of the gym with me. He doesn't object or say a word. Like a submissive boy, he follows beside me.