Troubled Heart
Elena Davis’s Pov,
It’s been weeks since that night, I refused to see his face and decided to lock myself in my room. He used to send maids and Alex from time to time to see me, serve meals and for her reasons but he didn’t come himself. It was me who screamed not wanting to see his face anymore.
I wanted to punish him for lying to me for being in the mafia the way destiny had chosen for him but I was the one who ended up getting punished, forcing myself to be away from him. I knew it wasn’t his fault to be born in a mafia family but it’s important to get isolated from him. I got deeply invested in him as I couldn’t feel detached from him at all. Every moment I spent was about him or for him.
I was afraid, the way he agreed to prove I love him, made my heart beat faster than ever. It only showed how much he knows me more than me that I don’t even need to utter a word to convey my heart's messages to him. People get easier to understand as time passes but Arius was the person whose personality got complicated as it was passing. Finding out the answers of your question like I have found mine was the most terrifying thing that had ever happened to me.
He lied from the start, sometimes I wonder if he is the same person I fall for or am I really even in love with this fierce leader of the mafia? But unfortunately every time the answer comes the same, yes I am in love with this mafia man. The image of him kneeling in front of me treating my wounds touched my soul.
That night he behaved as nothing happened or raised his voice over me. He was calm but his eyes were in conflict and slept as usual embracing me forcefully in his arms. His moves made me realize I was in the lion's den and had to dance according to his wish. His threats were still hanging over my head. Life of Patty and Theo depended on my escape lying in his hands.
Every night I dream about him, embedded in the warmth of his chest but woke up in an empty bed cursing myself for punishing both of us knowing that I was going to break at the end of this. But he needs to understand I am not going to choose my love over my values and morals taught by my mother. I don’t remember my birth mother clearly but blurred flashes remained in me. Loud knocks on the door caught my attention from my trance and it opened slowly. Alex was standing there holding two mugs in her hands.
Enchanting aroma of coffee consumed my room, making me smile at her. He walked in with her grinning at me. Arius never tried to violate my word and keep himself away from me. It's been more than a week, my eyes haven't seen him. They were thirsty of him as they dried which never felt the coolness of rain in his life.
"How long are you going to keep yourself locked in here?" She asked in her teasing way. She comes everyday to pursue me, try to make me understand my situation and consols me with the unspoken words of her covered in jokes.
As expected, she again brought up that topic to let Arius meet me. Sitting beside me, she handed over the mug to me ignoring my silence but her eyes were dimmed with my tight lipped answer. She signed heavily and shook her head lightly keeping it low, watching me give her a forced smile.
"El, isn't it enough? Even though my brother never said anything, I know he is missing you." She reasoned, frowning her face, clutching her floral dress in her fist.
"Alex, he isn't allowing me to leave. Your brother is a maze for me. His head, actions and words never match with each other." I argued back by putting the coffee mug back on a nearby coffee table without taking a sip. Her words were already enough to lose my interest in it.
"I know, he never shares his plans with each other but he loves you. Don't you see." She responded by sipping her coffee as nothing drastic happened weeks ago. I turned my gaze away from her as her words reached me. She looked quite confident in her statement but I knew the reality of our thing.
"huu" I exclaimed involuntarily expressing my disagreement.
"I am a thing which he is addicted to, nothing more than that. Just a thing which he wants to decorate over his bed." I berted in my bitter tone, keeping my gaze steady over the glass of the window, staring at nothing in particular. I still remember the day he said that, we were in office and he said he is addicted to me and wants to keep me because of my beauty. It was the same day he shared about Aria to me. His lost love, which he still carried with himself.
"Why do you think like that? I am sure he doesn't-" she was again trying to defend her brother who was crumbling my heart like a piece of paper which was worth nothing to him but I cutted her.
"Alex, I don't want to discuss it again. My head hurts whenever I think about him." I refused to talk further about it. Accepting him as I mafia king was as difficult as churning a sea. Even the regular gunshots felt unrealistic sometimes.
"Ok, I won't defend him anymore besides he was so unsettling that he went on a mission suddenly." She replied, rolling her eyes at me, continuing to sip her coffee leaning over the couch. Maybe that's why he didn't come to see me or force me to sleep with him again. Wait a second, mission?
"What kind of mission? What are you talking about?" I questioned sitting straight on the couch in alter mode. Her words were unsettling for me. She frowned her eyebrows in question.
"He is out for a few days. Haven't I told you before?" She asked to get from the couch holding a mug in her both hands. I shook my head in a negative way. Her face darkened, increasing the clutch over my heart.
"Arius was planning to invade Salvatore's area and he did last week. He was out in the north eastern area of Italy a few days ago when he got shot in his hand." She completed, stabbing my heart with her thorny words. I get up immediately from the couch, tears fill my eyes. My heart was beating so fast, making me forget everything exists for me. My legs sped up towards the way where my heartbeats were beating.
But the frame of the door reminded me of my limits which I was about to cross. I had declared I don't have any feelings towards him and even challenged him arrogantly. I stood there gripping the frame in my hand closing my eyes to calm myself down but how could I? He was hurt.
I have seen the blood oozing out from his chest and it was so fucking painful to watch. With a heavy heart, I turned around and saw Alex was standing in front of me with a concerned face. She wasn't worried about her brother at all.
"Nothing happened to him, I lied to you just to make yourself cleaner." She added with a stone face without any emotions. I took a deep breath as he was fine but this thing broke my mind.
"If you are standing at the door, why don't we take a walk in the garden. It will be really helpful to you." She suggested dragging me along with her. We were walking the same corridors where I realized his true profession. It felt weird to walk on the same path that goons and criminals used before, it was passing a shiver over my skin.
My Arius is a mafia leader and was so difficult to digest. My brain couldn't process all this information nor ready to leave his thoughts. Every breath of mine starts and ends with his name but my brain wasn't ready to acknowledge that fact. He went on a mission and is going to in the future. His life will always be on stake.
My trail of thousands thoughts halted as I sensed a presence beside me. I descended the stairs with Alex to reach the garden but his shadow was casted on the carpeted floor in broad daylight.
"Ahhhh" I turned to see what that was but screamed loudly as I saw he was holding a machine gun so close to me. He was walking so close to me, keeping his finger on trigger. Ready to shoot at any time.