Maximillion Cesantio
I closed my eyes really tight to rest for a bit because I'm so tired these days. Work got me good, I rarely sleep these days because I have an insomnia. My work was piling up and I kept getting piles and piles of work. I leaned back to my chair and took a really deep breath.
"Mr. Cesantio, would you like a glass wine?" I opened my eyes to see a beautiful air stewardess smiling at me, she's batting her eyelashes. I just gestured her to go away.
I took my phone out from my inner blazer and pressed the home button. I smiled widely just bg looking at my wallpaper, Rose looked so beautiful here. Her hair was all tied up to the back and she was smiling widely in this photo. How can I let this girl down? I was so stupid. I never stop blaming myself about losing her.
I kept going back to Brighton just to stalk her, took a photo of her secretly and hid myself with my baggy hoddie, hat and sunglasses. I even wore wig 3 times. It's hard but that's the only way for me to see her. I missed her but can't reach her that’s the most difficult and stressing situation.
When I was sick of working and missed her at the same time, I will go to Brighton secretly for 3 days or even 1 day just to see her beautiful smile. Call me a stalker.. but I don't care as long as I get to see her.
There's so many aspects why I changed.
The loneliness that I felt, the guilt, the love that she gave and just when she left me. That was the most painful moment but I deserved it. I was a jerk, I was an asshole, I was a manwhore and big fat loser. I never slept with any girls again and even changed my secretary from woman to man. I hate that idea but I have to do it.
Suddenly I felt nothing when I saw beautiful girls hitting on me or hinting me that they want more. I felt nothing. Everything was weird and new but it started around a year and a half ago when Rose left me for good. She didn’t give me any chance and just asked me to let her go completely. That got me good.
She asked me not to contact her, see her and even to stop trying. I saw her heart break and that made me hurt more because I know I was the one who caused that.
I saw her dating that Kevin guy and it made me feel better by seeing her smile starting to appear. But knowing that I'm not the reason she's smiling broke me but that is the curse of hurting her for 11 years.
I'm starting to get crazy when I miss her. I can stare at her photos for hours without getting bored. I even went there to see her secretly but I can't even reach her to kiss or hug her.
I want to fight for her but she's hurting so I can't force her. She asked me to be friends and maybe say hi to each other if we accidently see each other but I don't want that. I love her and it will hurt me to see her as a friend.
Yes, I love her but I'm too late.
She's moving on and I still can't accept the fact that she's moving on to someone else. Be happy in someone else arms, be happy because someone else kiss her, give her surprises and just.. everything. I don’t like it. I hate it.
I wanted to give her roses and just surprise her something but she asked me not to. She just asked me to leave her alone and let her start a new chapter of life. I want to be happy for her but I just can't. I can’t see a future without her in my life.
1 year after that incident still I can't be happy for her. I still want her for myself and no one else, I hate the fact that she hates me and not wanting to see me again is hurting me. I deserve it.
"Sir, we already landed." I looked to the air stewardess and nodded. I took my small laptop bag and walked out from the plane. My driver picked me up and I put everything on the back of the car.
Suddenly my phone vibrated and I looked at my message. It's Luke.
Luke :
I've got the file.
I just texted him back to tell him that don't forget to send the copy to Alex. Suddenly I miss Rose, texting her brother always reminds me of her.
Should I fly to Brighton tonight? I miss Rose. I miss her so much. It will kill me if I don’t see her.
Suddenly I got a phone call, it's Alex.
"Hey man, how are you doing dude?" He said as I picked up.
"Good and Luke already got the file.. ask the copy from him." I said.
"Got it. Are you free now? Are you still in Mexico?" He asked.
"Just landed at New York, I’m going to the office." I said.
"Rose is in town." He announced, my lips plastered a big smile. My heart suddenly felt nervous and just beating weirdly.
"She and Luke just went home after picking up the file from your office." He added.
"Thanks.”
"Isn't this your time to try to take her back?" He asked.
"She doesn't like that idea." I sighed.
"If I were you, I don't care. You love her and you want her back right? Earn it Max, fix everything. Fill the time that you've been missing." I unconsiously shook my head.
"She has a boyfriend, Alex.”
"Kevin and her never work." I heard Angel said that.
"They never work Max, why don't you try to take this opportunity?" Alex asked.”
"I don't think she-"
"Stop listen to what she says. We're the 7 Gold Lifes, we never listen to people Max.”
"It's different dumbass.. I love her.” I hissed coldly.
"You've change and now it's your time to show it to her. Don't rush everything, take it slow. Get to know her all over again." Alex said.
"She hates me.”
"She loved you.. she will never hate you that much." He stated weirdly.
"Act as a friend first.. take time, take it slow. You'll never know what will come in front of you Max.” He added.