Phoebe's POV
Already made up my mind,I was gonna use the pills without jax's consent.i woke up to see Jax kneeling at my front facing me
"Hey babe"he greeted as he pecked me on my forehead
"Hmm hey"I sat upright on the couch,only finding out he didn't sleep in the room
"You slept on the floor?"I asked him,as he knelt in between my legs
"Yes babe,I didn't want to leave you here... I'm sorry about last night Phoebe"he apologized
"It's fine Jax"I told him
"One more thing"he said
"I found this,in your shopping bag this morning as I tried helping you sort things out"he said showing me the birth control pills I got from the doctor,damn!why did I forget to take it elsewhere
"It's um,it's one"I tried to lie,he cuts in
"Phoebe please don't try to cover up,I know what this pills are for"he said,I frowned.he stayed quiet for a while
"Please tell me,you haven't touched it"he asked
"I haven't"it took a while before I answered
"And please promise you wouldn't use it"he told me,I refuse to say anything
"Phoebe"I cut in as I got up upsetly
"I can't promise that"I said forcing myself not to tear up
"Phoebe please"he said as he lured me to sit quietly, sitting beside me
"Babe please,I want us to talk this out quietly,no yelling okay"he said as he held my hands,he sighed,I felt my eyes go wet,I didn't want to talk about this
"Why are you doing this Phoebe,for God's sake,I see no reason why you should just decide not to give birth, please explain to me"he requested,I stayed quiet for some time before proceeding
"The doctor told me giving birth might be risky for me and my child, because of my condition,he explained things to me Jax.i don't wanna lose my child,and I don't want to die giving birth leaving you all alone.plus,he said,I could transfer asthma to my child and trust me Jax,i don't want any of that to happen.i love you very much Jax,I don't want you to go through the pain of losing me and also can't stand losing my child or seeing him have asthma like his mother,I can't risk it Jax,no way, I'm scared"I explained as I sobbed,he drew me closer, hugging me as I sobbed on his shoulders,he recoiled.
"Babe please listen to me.i get all what you just said and I love you too Phoebe,I fucking love you but I want you to trust me, whatever the case may be,we can get through this together Phoebe, please Phoebe, please don't do this,don't use this pills.
Of course adoption isn't wrong but I can't,I can't just do it,it's a no no for me.i can't stand taking in any child that's not mine or yours but from another woman.i'd love that child but I don't think it's compared to loving my own flesh and blood.
Babe,this fight isn't just yours alone,it's mine too and we can fight this, please phoebe,don't do this and trust me,have faith"he explained as u see his eyes go wet.i think this really got to him,maybe he was right after all.i nodded in agreement
"Yeah,it's fine"I said as I cupped his cheeks
"It's fine?"he asked again for confirmation,I nodded,he smiled as he hugged me
"Thank you"he said
"Don't think about it too much okay, we're gonna be fine"he added.
X. X. X. X
"Hey Phoebe,where are you??it's time to go to your father's house"I heard Lucy said as I and Jax walked down the stairs.i was gonna be going home preparing for my wedding as the bride and not gonna see Jax till our pre wedding party.damn,I was gonna miss him.
"Stop shouting"Jax said,Lucy hissed,I chuckled
"Thanks for coming to pick me up Lucy"I said
"Well,it's sister in-law's duty"she said smiling,I smiled back
"Yeah,you can move out,she'd meet you outside"Jax said raising his brows at her
"Whatever"she said and walked out as I turned to Jax
"You don't have to be rude"I said as he pulled me to him, grabbing my ass
"Jax"I warned
"What,I wouldn't touch this for a long time"he said,I rolled my eyes
"I'd miss you"he added
"I'd miss you more"I said and kissed him.i pulled away as he began to move further
"Relax okay,it's just for a week and everything is all yours"I said,he sighed
"Gotta go"I said as I walked to the door
"I love you"he yelled
"I love you too"I said and walked out
"Done fucking?"Lucy asked as I walked in her car,I shaked my head in disappointment
"We didn't fuck Lucy"I told her as she drove off.
My mind drove back to what Jax and I talked about as I got worried again,i needed to talk to mum about this.
JAX POV
I needed to talk to mum about this,reason being that,I didn't know if I made the right decision,I was scared too.i was scared for her,for her and for us.