~Aurelia Williams~
"AURELIA!!!" my father's stern voice called from downstairs. Nothing has been the same since my mother died 5 years ago. My father has changed completely and not exactly in a good way.
He brought the darkness into my life from which I can no longer escape.
Again my father shouted “AURELIA! If you're not down by 3, then there will be consequences."
My heart skipped a beat. I didn't even want to imagine these consequences, but my body knew exactly how they felt. But I'll probably never get used to it.
I quickly got up from my bed and first flew over my own legs.
Hard to believe I haven't killed myself yet, given my clumsiness.
"1," my father shouted. Just the sound of his voice made me feel scared.
I got up and walked through my room door towards the stairs. It was mean to be woken up like this on what was actually a beautiful, sunny morning. And it's definitely not good for the heart either. Very calm one second, then running down in panic the next second...
"2" my dad called again and I gasped.
I quickly ran down the stairs and missed a step. I stumbled and ended up falling at the bottom of the stairs. Luckily I was able to catch myself with my arms in time so that I only landed on my elbows with a pained face.
They're probably scraped now, but does that make a difference in addition to the numerous other injuries?
"3," my father said more quietly this time and stepped out of the living room, which is to the left of the stairs, into the hallway to look at me.
Without scrutinizing me any further, he went back into the living room.
I took a quick breath for a second. I made it in time and the bruised elbows are nothing compared to what I would have otherwise faced.
Then I got up and followed him into the living room, only to see that he was, as usual, sitting in his armchair in front of the TV and watching some sports show.
"What do you need?" I asked hesitantly and in a low voice. He knows very well that I'm afraid of him. So why should I hide it then. I only hide it from others. I don't want anyone to know what I do my father does behind closed doors.
"Get me some beer," he said sternly. "Now!"
"You were just down the hall, why don't you go get your own beer yourself!" I snapped. Immediately regretting what I said, I looked at him anxiously while wishing I would shrink .
Then his head flew in my direction and he now looked at me with hateful eyes. Why did I even say that? Can't I just do what I'm told? Why am I so stupid?
Inwardly, I keep hitting my head with the palm of my hand.
"You little ugly bitch! If you now think that you no longer have to obey me, then pack your things and go, just like your mother wanted. Or have you already forgotten that your worthless mother just wanted to leave you before she was finally murdered by her new lover?"
Tears were already welling up in my eyes, but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of letting them flow because that's what he wanted to achieve.
"She didn't love you. Nobody loves you. You're just not worth it." He's been feeding me those exact words every day for the last five years, so much so that I started believing it myself.
I'm just not worthy of anyone loving me. I'm ugly and a good-for-nothing. Why was I even born?
I finally ran to the fridge and brought my father a beer. I didn't have to risk unnecessarily suffering more pain...
After that, I quickly fled back to my room. I grabbed some stuff from my closet and went to the bathroom to get ready. I tried not to think too much about my father. After all, I deserve to be treated like this. Even my own mother didn't love me.
I just don't know why? What have I done wrong that I'm worthless anymore?
Finally, after a quick refreshing shower, I brush my teeth and comb my long blond hair that had long since lost its golden luster.
I looked in the mirror and saw my eyes shimmering ocean blue. However, you could see a deep sadness in them. But what should I do anyway? Pack my things and move out? That may be logical, but not as easy as everyone thinks. I mean where should I go then? On the street? To my best friend Steven?
No, I wasn't allowed to stay at Steven's once and it wasn't because my father wouldn't let me, it was because Steven's family objected. I actually liked his family.
That just confirmed the fact that no one loves me. I'm alone in this world. Live every day to carry on somehow 'cause I can't stop it. There's still a voice inside me that tells me that someday it'll get better. That I'll be happy again Even if I wanted to give up this hope a long time ago, I can't turn it off.
It's almost desperate how a little piece of my heart clings to this hope. A hope that will never come true. 'Cause just as well, my mind knows it's never gonna happen, 'cause I just ain't worth it...
How I wish I had such a great family as Steven has. You're so great that Steven doesn't want to leave here. He wants to stay with them, which I can understand. His mother is kind of a mother to me too. After Mom died, she was there for me. Of course Steven was there for me too, but his mother was much better at comforting me. The loving way she hugged me and spoke to me was just soothing. His father was also very open-minded. Steven's brother, who is 3 years older, just looked at me annoyed. I don't know what his problem is either. But he probably sees in me the same worthless piece of crap that I'm sure everyone else sees in me, like my father or my mother.
Suddenly the doorbell rang. I already knew it was Steven and grabbed my black leather jacket to pull on. Although it was spring soon and the temperatures kept rising, I didn't want Steven to notice my new abrasions or other bruises. That would only raise unnecessary questions.
Steven always picks me up in the morning to take me to school. I quickly packed my school stuff in my bag and ran towards the stairs.
Then I heard my father open the front door and greet Steven in a friendly tone. "Hi Steven, how are you? We haven't seen each other for a long time." I could only roll my eyes at that, because my father was actually there every morning when Steven picked me up. He was just too lazy to get up from his chair.
"I'm very well Mr Williams. Glad to see you again too," Steven replied in a polite tone. I smiled at that because he's just the nicest person on earth, and finally ran down the stairs.
Steven is the only one who made me feel worth something. He's the only one that made me feel comfortable and safe. He is my best friend.
When Steven saw me his polite smile widened into a big smile and I gave him a quick hug. Then I ran with him out the door to his black jeep.
My dad called out, "Have a nice day Princess," but I didn't say anything. Instead, I got in the car with Steven and we drove to school, the only place I feel normal.