A month later
Alhamdulillah we done with our third year and it's time to head home,I can't say how happy I am.I'm gonna see my darling Mami,the driver helped packed our luggage to the car and we head straight to the airport.
My flight is by 10:00AM and it's 9:30 when we reached the airport,Halima couldn't stop blabbering about how much she missed home and all.by 10:00 we were in the plane and about to take off ,by 10:45Am we reached kano and I was so excited to see all my family members excluding my dad,I ran off to hug Mami while Halima ran off to hug her mum,I missed you so so much Mami I said and moved from her embrace,you look pale Bibi she said touching my face,you don't eat?you don't take care of yourself,no Mami I'm fine,no your not but you'll be,now that your home I'll take care of you,are you staying with me Mami?yes love,my eyes lit up in excitement,we're gonna have so much fun.i said and went running towards mama,mama I said while hugging her,my daughter how are you?she said while hugging me back,I'm fine mama,I've missed you,how have you been?you don't look alright what's wrong mama?did someone said something to you? I started to bombard her with questionsy and I can see it through her eyes that something is definitely wrong,I'm fine Amani,she said while looking at Mami,I hugged my siblings,ya zuzu and my babies then I went ahead and greet Ma,I said my goodbye to Halima and then we all head home while ya zuzu was talking to Halima,I don't know about what,but I know something is fishy,I'll find out real quick.
We arrived home shortly and I was awww with what I saw,I was so happy,my room was decorated and it has lots of gifts and chocolates,I squealed and shouted Mami while hugging her,this is just the beginning my love you deserve more,now freshen up and come eat lunch.
I freshen up and wore a black jeans and a crop top ,I tied my hair in a loose bun and headed to the dinning where everyone is waiting for me including Abba,I greeted my dad and Mami gestured for me to sit close to her,she served me all my fav and said I have to eat all to gain more weight Cx I look pale blah blah blah,we ate in silence and when we were done,I went straight to mama's side and had a little chit chat with her then headed to Muhammad's room I gave him a small gift box and asked him what happened when I was not home,at first he was silent and didn't want to talk but i pleaded with him then he told me everything.To say I was shocked was an understatement.i settled for a while and calm myself down then I apologized to Muhammad on behalf of my mum and Mami but he shrugged it off and hugged me,then I Started to sob uncontrollably and he tighten his hold on me and said soothing words to my ears,my sob died down and that's when I heard Mami calling me I cleared my throat and answered her,your eyes are puffy sis,I'm gonna get into trouble don't worry,I know what to tell her.
Yes Mami
Where have you been Bibi and what happened to you?she said almost freaking out,nothing much,something got into my eyes I went to Muhammad to help me check,Okay now c'mon let's go.she said while dragging me to her room.we talked talked and laughed until I forgot all my worries.i was about to talk when a message came through my phone,I checked it and it was from aymaan.
"Uhmmm,Mami said raising a brow teasingly who's the new guy?
"Just a friend Mami"
"A friend huh?so tell me about him"she said with an evil grin.
"Really Mami?"I said laughing
"He's name is Aymaan Muhammad sheikh".
"He's a sheikh huh?"
"Yes Mami,a sheikh,we met when I went for my school shopping in shop rite,He wanted to pay my bills and then I found out that he was halima's boyfriend friend,so we became friends after I gave him a big hard time"I said laughing at the memory.
"I know you wouldn't go easy on him,but just be careful men are scum Bibi"
"Yes mami"I said while replying Aymaan's message
"Mami told me stories until I fell asleep"
"I woke up around Maghrib time and headed straight to my room,I freshen up and wore my Mickey-mouse pJ and prayed,I was about to leave the room when my phone started ringing,I picked the call without checking the caller ID"
"Assalamu alaikum"came my baby voice.
"Waalikumusalam"came Aymaans huge but calm voice.
"So you forgot about your friend huh?
"Now c'mon don't be silly"
"Well you didn't call me or even text me when you got home,i had to text you first and you replied with just a "yes"rude!rude Amaani bad friend"
"Hey hey sorry,I was busy, I didn't get the chance to"
"Apology not accepted"
"Don't be stubborn MR.sheikh,you know they all missed me here,sorry"
"But I miss you too"he said in a serious tone.
"Well I didn't"
"Ikr,thank you rude girl"
"Hey don't call me that or else you'll hear it from my darling Mami,I bet you won't want that to happen"
"Try me girl"
"Mami,Mami"
"Hey girl,sorry,I was just joking"
"Better man"
"Bye I have to go"
"I'll call you later then,bye"he said and hang up the call.
Knock knock
Who's there?
It's Taslim
Come in baby sis
Dinner is ready
I ain't hungry
Okay,she said and left
Knock knock
Come in
Mami,I said and stood up
What's wrong? Why ain't you hungry?
It's nothing Mami,I'm fine,I ate a lot earlier
"I'm not buying that girl,now c'mon your gonna eat some healthy food"
But Mami,she cut me off saying no-buts and dragged me with her.
"I ate a little and excused myself from the dinning table"
" I went straight to my room and laid down on my bed,my face looking at the ceiling,deep in my thoughts,my eyes were watery and I can't hide the pain in my heart,why is all this happening,I want to take my life,suicidal thoughts came running through my mind and I swear any moment from
Now I want to die,I feel like I'm a heavy weight on their shoulders,all this is happening because of me, and what if I die?abba won't worry about me,mami won't insult mama again,Muhammad,Taslim and Yasmin will be happy that no one dare to disrespect there mum again,and Mami will love them just as she loves me,and mummy will rejoice in happiness all day long,so why not I end this and bring happiness and smile to the family,to everyone's face?im definitely gonna commit suicide,I didn't know when I started crying,I was crying and sobbing uncontrollably,I got up and tore a paper
Dear loved one's,
I decided to write this before I finally take my life,I know y'all will be mad but this is the best thing to do for me and you,none of you have to worry about me ever again,Mami I love you so much but I'm sorry I have to do this,love my siblings as much as you love me they need this more than ever,mama I'm in tears right now,you are such a wonderful mother,I wouldn't have been here without you,I wouldn't be who I am without you today and there are no words to repay you or your kindness,my heart is bowing in shame I can't face you again,for all the insults and hurtful words people said to you because of me,pls forgive me pls mama pls forgive me,I saw the jealousy and range in my siblings eyes whenever People disrespect you,and wllhi you deserve none,pls forgive me ,I'm sorry for not believing in you at the first place,for causing troubles into your marriage with Abba for causing problems to you,I can't ever repay you mama,pls take care of my siblings,Tell Muhammad,Taslim and Yasmin that I love them so much,and I wish them all the best in life and what they do,I pray that may success be their portion and may they be the apple of your eyes,may you and Abba be forever proud of them and may they be better children and if in any way I lack something or did something wrong may they be better than me in any other thing,I love them so much and I'll miss them,ya zulaiha I'm speechless sis,I don't know what to say or with what to repay you,we were not the best sisters and I apologize for not believing you and trusting you at the beginning, I love you endlessly,take care of my Abba,mama,Siblings,my darling Mami and most of all my two munchkins,tell Halima that I love her so much and I'm grateful for all the times she's been their for me during grief and laughter but most of all am sorry for not always being their for her now,may she forgive me too,tell my two munchkins that I love them so much and may Allah bless them abundantly,and lastly to my loving father,I still cherished each moment with you Abba,I don't know how we part ways or how it happened,I miss you calling me princess,I cry myself to bed knowing I'm not the best daughter but worst,pls forgive me Abba,every moment without you was like hell to me,I loved,love and still love you,I have a lot to tell you and I miss those Moments when we go out for a father-daughter time together,I miss you telling me stories and poems,I miss your warm embrace,I miss you so very much Abba,I don't know if I have wronged you but pls forgive me,I wish I could muster all the courage to say this to you but I failed once's more,I failed and I've given up in our relationship,I'm in tears Abba,I'm a bad luck to the GALADANCHI'S my heart hurts and aches right now I love you so much,you've always been the best father in the world,take care of mama,Mami and my siblings,I love y'all.
Yours dearest daughter
Amaani.
"I dropped my pen and paper on my night stand,tears gushing down my face like a river flow,I took a rope and tied it to my fan with the help of a chair,I hang my head real tight and then throw the chair with force,I heard mama calling my name but it's too late,I've locked the door,I was sweating and crying,even after knowing what I was doing was haram in Islam,I cant think of any other way,I want my family to put a happy smile in their faces because I seem to be a bad luck in their life,slowly i can hear people shouting through my door trying to break the door,Amaani,Amaani,Amaani pls open the door"the voice which belonged to Mami and I could hear it from her voice she was crying "Amaani,Bibi,Amaani pls"that was the last thing I heard and then darkness clouded over me,this is it my mind said"