The knock on my door woke me up. I could also hear Linda’s voice outside as she called to me.
I fell asleep. I didn't realize that I fell asleep after soaking in the bathtub.
I rubbed my eyes and adjusted the knot of my robe. Then, I quickly got out of bed and walked towards the door. My eyes caught the clock on the side table. I frowned at what I saw. It was already midnight.
I sighed and continued walking towards the door. Manang Linda's worried face greeted me as soon as I opened the door.
"Is there a problem, Linda?" I asked, confused.
"Ma'am, Sir Nicholai is outside with someone. He's drunk again." She couldn’t look at me.
I gave him a timid smile. "I'll take care of it, Linda. Get some rest." She bowed and said goodbye to me, and then I went down.
I sighed heavily. My forehead creased when I saw Nicholai with a woman.
"W-who are you?" My face was void of any emotion while looking at her. She was beautiful, and I guess we were the same age. A big question was running in my head.
Who was she?
And why was she with Nicholai?
I didn’t want to think badly. But I couldn't help it. It was the first time that he went home drunk with a woman with him. Did they spend the whole afternoon together? Did he go to her after he slapped me?
"So, you are his wife," the woman said and slowly approached me while holding Nicholai.
My eyes wandered to Nic's polo. The buttons were opened. My lips formed into a thin line, and I looked back at the woman in front of me.
I took Nicholai's arm and helped him stand up. He was totally wasted.
"Here." The woman handed Nicholai's key and then turned and walked away. I was watching her until she disappeared from my sight.
I wanted to scold Nicholai and ask him who that woman was. We were still married, and it was not good if our family would know about this. But I stopped myself. I felt that if I did that, I would be stepping the line between us.
Yes, we were married. But only on paper. That was just it.
Then why didn’t you go ahead and file an annulment and leave him? My subconscious said. I bit my lower and shook my head.
Another heavy sigh escaped from my mouth. I looked at Nicholai and tapped his cheek lightly.
"Nicholai? Wake up. Hey." He opened his eyes and looked at me intently.
"My wife," he muttered and then smiled. I looked away. How could he smile like that after what he did before he left?
"Let's get inside. It's already late," I said and helped him walk inside our house.
We stumbled on the couch. I heard him chuckle, and I couldn’t help but glare at him. "Goodness! You are so heavy," I said and was about to stand up when he suddenly pulled my hand.
My eyes widened when I landed on his lap. His arms encircled my waist right away and held me closer. I could even feel and smell his breath. Nicholai's masculine scent and the liquor mixed were making me dizzy.
"What are you doing, Nicholai?" I remained in my stoic expression while trying to get up.
"What? This is normal for us married couples, hon," he said as if we were okay. As if he didn't lay his hand on me.
I clenched my fist and looked at him straight in the eyes. "We are not a normal married couple, Nic. So let go," I answered back in gritted teeth.
"You are so hard to please."
I immediately turned my gaze to him. I looked at him with an unbelievable expression. "I'm sorry?"
What he did next was unexpected. He let go of my waist, cupped my face, and kissed me on the lips.
My eyes widened. I was caught off guard. I gasped when he bit my lower lip. He took advantage of it, and he entered his tongue and tasted every corner of my mouth. I could even taste the liquor in his mouth.
When my consciousness was back, I immediately pushed him hard. "What the hell, Nicholai ?!" I shouted angrily.
"What now? I can't kiss my wife?" he scoffed.
"Did you even treat me as your wife, Nic?"
"You are my wife, Denima. You will always be mine," he said in gritted teeth.
"I'm not yours, Nicholai. And will never be!"
"You really love hurting me, huh?"
"What did you just say?" I looked at him with an unbelievable expression.
"You always have your ways to make me feel like this. To make me feel worthless." He chuckled lightly.
I looked away and ignored what he said. "You're just drunk. You're talking nonsense now. I don't know what you're talking about, Nic. I'm going to sleep." I was about to stand up when he stopped me again.
I heard him sigh. He rested his forehead on my shoulder. He also wrapped his arm back around my waist. He was not letting me go.
"Can we stay like this for a minute? I'm tired." I did not answer. I looked up and massaged my temple.
This was the first time that he was drunk and didn't insult me or accused me of killing our baby. Was Nicholai slowly changing? Did I make the right decision of staying and giving him the benefit of the doubt? Because I was hoping. I always hoped that he would change.
"I'm sorry," I heard him whisper. I stiffened. I was shocked at what he said.
It was the first time that he said sorry after I was discharged from the hospital, after everything.
"What are you saying sorry for?" I asked with my forehead creased.
"I just can't let you go. I can't. Never," he whispered, which made me shiver.
"W-what do you mean?" I didn't hear any response from him. "Nicho—" I shuddered when I heard his faint snoring.
How could he fall asleep after saying that? Goodness!
I laid him on the couch and put a blanket on him. Looking at Nicholai while he was sleeping was bringing back the old memories of us when we were still okay. His face was very gentle while sleeping, far from his appearance of always being angry when awake.
I smiled bitterly as I looked back at our past. The past that we couldn’t bring back to what it used to be.