Maksimillian
My heart skipped a beat when I heard Zenovia confess her feelings for me in the middle of our lovemaking. Yes, I knew from the start that we did not only have sex. It was more than that. The moment I agreed to her to make that baby, it was more than merely a contract or an earthly desire to romp. If I’d think about it, I could say I’ve already fallen for her the moment we held eyes in the Black Church.
I kissed Zenovia’s shoulder when I asked her what she wanted to tell me. It sounded serious, so I slowly lay us down sideways. I did not pull away from her body, letting our united bodies remain as one. I did not want to miss her warmth and her slickness that wrapped around me. I wanted to bask in it for as long as I could.
I pushed my hips to remain inside her when we were lying sideways. One hand was on the V of her body, loving the feel of it. She was soft and all woman. My other arm was wrapped around her safely to be nestled well against my hard bulk.
“Maks… I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you right away, but… I’m afraid,” she began in as mall voice.
I frowned upon hearing her words. There was an alarming ring to her tone. “What is it? What are you afraid of, Zenovia?”
If it was her not being able to conceive, it did not matter to me. As long as she was not in pain or unhappy… And yet, the baby was her happiness. So, this also brought a cloud over my head.
“If you’re telling me we’re not pregnant, again, I assure you, it’s okay. We can still try and try until we have that baby, all right?” I assured her gently, giving her small kisses on her neck and ear.
Bog! Ya tak lyublyu etu zhenshchinu! (God! I love this woman so much!)
She slowly moved, making my semi-flaccid cock slip out of her body. She turned to look at me in the eye. “Maks, we… we already did it.”
I blinked fast, trying to process what she was telling me. “W-what?”
She smiled up at me, kissing me on the lips softly. “Thank you, Maks. We’re pregnant!”
My heart leapt when I heard that specific word. I was totally stunned that my brain seemed to stop function for a moment or two before I could react.
“What? No reaction from you?” she teased me.
I cursed and held her closer and tighter to me. “I love you so much, Zenovia! It’s all right to tell it to my face, not on the phone because I really, really want to hold you in my arms just as I do now.” I kissed the top of her head, forehead and nose, until I stopped on her lips.
Zenovia giggled and kissed me back. Chert poberi! I really loved her taste. It was addictive. And I love her news, to boot! I could not describe how happy this made me.
“How far are we?” I managed to ask her at last, as she did not fill me in on the details yet. “And are you fine? You feel good?”
She smiled up at me, looking me in the eye. “We’re nine weeks, and yeah, so far… I’m good. Nothing to worry about. Just that… I do feel horny.”
I laughed when I heard it. “That’s good news, isn’t it?”
She slapped my chest, cackling softly. Her beautiful grey eyes shone as I examined them through the lampshade that was left on.
“Must I do it myself everytime you’re not around?” She raised an eyebrow.
I gave her a deep kiss before answering, “I prefer you’d do it with me.”
She grinned at that. “Well, I agree with you.”
“So, let’s live together, in Moscow, and marry there. You can leave your job here and be with me, can’t you?”
She looked at me with a shocked face. “W-wait… Leave my job?”
“I can support you and the child, Zenovia, if that’s what’s worrying you,” I quickly added. “You know this.”
“Maks… Are you… Are you seriously asking me to marry you?” She blinked fast, looking at me with such intensity.
“Yes, I am! I want to be the father of our child. I want to be there for her or for him. I want to be there for you and never leave you alone!”
She swallowed hard, eyes dropping low, as she processed my words in her head. I wished I could read what was on her mind. Sometimes, it was good to know what she was thinking, and I could counter it if she so drifts away from me.
“Hey, look at me,” I gently instructed her.
Zenovia raised her gaze to meet my eyes. However, I could see something in her eyes that was not good at all.
“Maks, I don’t think I can marry you. Ever.”
Something akin to shattering of glasses sounded in my ears. It was my heart breaking, and I immediately felt the pain. It was too much that I could not even describe how hurt I was. I could just stare at her for a full minute.
“W-what did you say?” I croaked. The heat in the back of my eyes bothered me.
“You heard me, Maks. Thank you for this baby, but I can’t marry you.”
“What do you mean you can’t? You mean you won’t!” My tone of voice was higher as I snapped at her. I supposed it was because of the hurt I felt inside. I was not disappointed because I knew what we had agreed and what I signed in that damn contract! But still, I was hoping. I was hoping deep inside that she would change her view and that she would accept my feelings and have a relationship with me, eventually. “What about what you said earlier? We’re a thing, right?”
She gave me a confused look. “Well… I…” she stuttered. “I just said, we’re past the courting level. I thought you understood what I meant. We don’t need it. We have agreed that we’ll end the contract once I’m pregnant, haven’t we? You did sign it, Maks.”
I sat up on the bed, feeling hurt and angry. “I know what I signed up for, Zenovia! Don’t tell me as if I’m stupid!”
“I know you aren’t. I’m just rem⸺”
“I don’t need a reminder, either!” I cut her off and snapped, eyes flashing at her. “Besides, why are we in this position now when just a little while ago, you told me you love me, and I said I feel the same about you, huh? What was that about? You just said it at the heat of the moment? Was it all because I rammed you so good that it just slipped from your sweet lying mouth?” I mocked.
Her palm suddenly connected with my face. I felt it stung, and the heat of it stayed for some moments. I ground my teeth as I looked at her.
Right. Maybe it was out of line. I deserved it.
“Get out! I don’t want to see you again!” Her eyes flashed as she pointed to the door.
“Zenovia!” I raised my voice, but it cracked from intense emotion. I did not want to lose her or the baby. I knelt on the floor, facing her. “Please! I’m sorry I said that. Let’s talk about this, okay?” I begged.
She turned her face. “Just go away, Maks. I don’t want to speak with you or see you again. This is over. You hear me?”
I cursed and stood up. I crawled back on the bed to embrace her, but she pushed me away.
Now I knew how it felt to be rejected. Was it my karma for pushing away all those women I had sex before? Was this what they felt when they wanted intimacy, not only sex, with me, but I cast them all away? I wondered for a moment.
“Just leave, Maks. I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
“Because you already have what you want, the baby,” I spoke bitterly.
She put her hands on her face, covering it as she cried. My heart broke into a million more pieces, again. I had no idea if it was tears of joy or if she was also hurt for pushing me away. Why was she crying?
I inhaled deeply, realizing that the tears also slipped from my own eyes.
Maybe I should just give her some time. Maybe she was just being emotional right now, and I should understand her because she was carrying our baby. Perhaps that was the best to do for now. I should leave her, give her space and time, and then, we could talk again when her head is clear.
I turned around to leave her alone in her room. I gathered my clothes, put them back on and tightened my jaw as I left her apartment.