Evans is sleeping a few inches away from me and I can’t help but stare at him. He is laying on his back, facing the ceiling, his right arm draped across his forehead. His mouth is partially open, his stomach moving up and down in even, slow breaths. He's wearing a sleeveless white shirt and I admire his muscular arms, feeling like a creep. It's really hard not to stare at him; he's like a piece of fine art. I thought guys like these only existed in magazines, which is ironic because I'm pretty sure he has been in magazines.
I’m in bed with a man who’s been on the cover of magazines.
Not only that, I’m also carrying his baby and he told me he's falling in love with me. This kind of stuff just doesn't happen. I know I should feel happy, but I feel overwhelmed instead. There's just a lot going on, my mind still trying to process everything he told me last night... Did it really just happen last night?
I woke up at six in the morning and I couldn't go back to sleep. I've been thinking, wondering what the hell I'm going to tell my mom when she starts asking questions. I'm happy that she's here and to see her, but she seriously couldn't have chosen a worse time. I’m dreading the moment I have to get out of bed and face her. I just want to lay here and keep staring at Evans.
I finally look away, afraid my stare is going to wake him. I rarely see him sleep and I'm afraid that it's because he rarely sleeps.
He told me he was falling in love with me.
It's really hard not to smile at that thought. No one has ever declared their love to me before. Guys just don't do that. They don't go around expressing feelings and getting deep. It's weird because I thought Evans was a cold, mean man with no feelings—and then he surprises me by telling me about his past.
I suddenly hear movement coming from my bedroom and I sit up. As much as I don't want to, I have to talk to my mom. I stand and tiptoe my way out of Evan's room and down the hall to my room. I can hear Bellina already making breakfast in the kitchen. The door is ajar and when I walk in, my mom is on the floor shuffling through her suitcase. Eva is still in bed, sleeping. I look at them and I still can't believe they're here.
My mom looks up, embarrassed. "I'm sorry, did I wake you honey?"
I shake my head. "No, mom, I was already awake. Couldn't go back to sleep."
She walks towards me and places her hand on my stomach, taking me by surprise. "Oh no. Is the baby kicking?" she asks with a smile.
"No," I say, taking a step backwards, letting her hand drop. "Just couldn't sleep."
She gives me a weird look and I walk to the bathroom so she can't see my face. I take out my toothbrush and begin to brush my teeth. As expected, my mom follows me and leans against the doorframe, her arms crossed across her chest. I can feel her studying me. Probably looking for other things I've kept secret, like hidden tattoos or piercings...I wish it was that. "Are you and your boyfriend having problems, Ciara?" she finally asks.
I stop brushing and look at her reflection in the mirror, then slowly continue brushing my teeth. "No why?" I ask, after spitting in the sink.
"Well, all your clothes and things are in this room. I figure you're fighting if you're sleeping in different rooms."
I finish rinsing my mouth while I think about a reasonable answer. I wipe my lips with a towel before I look at her. "No, I just like having my space. You know, with getting big and all." I laugh softly, trying to sound convincing. "You know I move a lot in my sleep, and I prefer to have my space."
She raises an eyebrow. "You're not fooling me, Ciara"
I sigh, feeling ashamed for having to lie to my mother. I was never the girl to lie to my parents. I never had to. Probably the reason why I'm a horrible liar. "Okay, yes, Evans and I didn't particularly get along at first."
She stares at me, waiting for me to continue.
"We weren't dating when he and I—" I sigh. "It was sort of a one-night stand. When I got pregnant, he insisted on moving me here so he could help me with the baby and all, but we weren't together. We’re trying to make us work," I finish with a smile, proud of myself. That actually went better than expected.
My mom nods slowly and then shakes her head. "I still can't believe you hadn't told us you were pregnant. This is big news,Ciara You're supposed to share this stuff with your family. Even if we're thousands of miles away, we're still there for you."
I half smile. "I know. I'm sorry. I just...I was embarrassed because, you know, I had sex before marriage. I know how much you guys value that."
She nods, looking at the ground for a moment. "I must admit, I wish you would had gotten married first, and I don't know how your father is going to take the news but—" She smiles. "This is a baby. My first grandchild. This is great news, honey."
I gulp feeling guilty again. What the hell am I doing? "Yeah. It was unexpected for me too. I'm a little scared."