Chapter 90
I woke up for the second time this morning with the sun in my face. His smell permeated every breath I took as the covers enveloped me like a cocoon.
I was ecstatic for the brief time it took for my brain to reset.
One of the nicest experiences ever was napping after an earth-shattering orgasm. I felt rejuvenated, revived, and ready to take over the world—that is, until the reality of my circumstances set me.
The recollections of what I had done washed over me, leaving a hollow feeling in my chest. The pain, the caressing, the taunting. I leaped out of his bed, shuddering at the chill in the air as my robe parted to reveal my nude flesh.
The result of it all was a work of art frozen in time.
My aroma permeated the entire space like a thick pulse. I was laying in a tangle of straggling satin, soiled from my drips on them for him. In addition to the mess at the end of the bed, where he had taken a seat to watch me, the stickiness between my legs was now a painful sensation that I needed to wash away.
The armchair in which he had been seated was a shattered piece of furniture, the plush upholstery ripped through and then apart.
It was a wreckage, and the appearance matched my inner feelings completely.
"Fuck." I was annoyed with myself in more ways than one, and I let out a frustrated grunt as I tugged at my hair in a mumble.
Had I truly done that, had I truly let him witness me as I completely messed up my body with my fingers, and had he truly abandoned me following what I had revealed to him?
I shouldn't have been angry with him, but I was unable to control myself as the resentment I felt from all the other bad choices I had made began to combine into one huge mess.
I was tentatively picking up the pieces after giving in to the mate bond for the third time, even though none of this was supposed to happen.
The much more regrettable issue was that I was clumsy and incompetent in my labor, and the pieces I was attempting to replace were composed of glass fragments and live wiring.
I slipped my hand beneath the blankets and pushed it into the pocket where I had hidden the piece of paper, my pulse pounding hard in my chest.
The ominous hint of how today might turn out lingered.
I had just a few more hours to make up my mind, and time was no longer on my side. I was faced with a plethora of options, each of which was excruciating in its own right, and I had carefully considered the ramifications of each option before deciding on it.
It would have been a betrayal to tell Derrick the truth, risky to trust my brother, and a death wish to return to my mother.
I couldn't decide which of the many bad decisions I had made—the anguish of losing a partner or the anguish of having caused his death—was the worst.
Beyond the two foolishly sexual experiences I'd had with Derrick, there was also the knowledge that Vera now knew that I was a witch blood wolf and that my brother was her mate, who also appeared to want to be on my side. A lot had transpired, and it was going far too quickly.
Vera handled the news far better than I had anticipated, and that gave me greater optimism. Perhaps telling Derrick the truth wouldn't be all that horrible after all; perhaps this was the best option out of all of mine. Perhaps he would be able to see past my shortcomings in the same way that she had, and perhaps he would desire me in the same way that she had desired her partner even after learning the truth about him.
My body ached as I dragged myself to the bathroom after yanking myself out of his bed. I hurriedly showered, washing away the transgressions of the previous twelve hours, and threw on some clothes. I had to act quickly before all of my options were taken away and I was left without any control once more since time was running out for me.
I knew I had one more chance to be honest with him, and this time I wasn't going to screw it up. This time, I was determined to be the ideal, well-mannered companion to him, and I would divulge all of my secrets to him.
I entered the kitchen ready to take a bite out of the blow, and I thought perhaps some sweet goodies might help. While I waited for them to bake in the oven, I paced with the extra energy I had gained and mixed up a batch of chocolate chip muffins. They were placed on a plate, which I then changed several times.
The rush of adrenaline was beginning to give way to anxiety, and the image of his anger was replacing the concept of his acceptance of me.
Before I let it get the better of me, I got moving again and left the seclusion of Derrick's purported penthouse. I made an effort to ignore everyone in my immediate vicinity, even the wolves that stopped and lowered their heads in my direction. I also tried not to let their grins affect me. Even though I hadn't taken their alpha's mark, many pack wolves chose to refer to me as their Luna after the little renegade incident, and I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not at the time.
By the time I stood in front of his office, staring at the enormous oak doors, my heart was beating once more. I had hardly had a minute to gather myself before the warriors standing guard outside of them shoved them open without a second's hesitation. For a few minutes, I stood foolishly in the doorway, blinking foolishly at the interior of the room.
Before he turned to let me in, Derrick was standing in the window's light, staring out the glass with his phone placed in his ear. As soon as he saw me, the tightness in his body gradually eased. His eyes trailed down my body, admiring the adorable flowery dress I had picked, which ended just above my knee. I swallowed nervously.
Even though there was nothing sensational about my outfit choice, his eyes darkened in color as he looked from my face back to the muffin plate I had leaning against my stomach.
It looked just like it had when I'd fallen asleep with him on his sofa the previous time I'd been at his office.
I nearly flinched when I heard his icy voice reverberate across the room, and my heart fell to my chest as I saw his features stiffen abruptly. While my wolf dropped her head in submission to it and whimpered in reaction to his stern tone, I straightened my back, and he maintained a fixed look at me.
"As your king, it is my duty to know the inner workings of each and every pack—you insult me by withholding this information, and I will not take kindly to it." His eyes narrowed as he shifted his weight from one knee to the other, and I felt a wave of comfort sweep over me when I realized his fury wasn't directed at me.