I don’t know what his business entails when he’s not and I would rather never find out, to be honest. Seeing glimpses of some of the men he deals with and knowing he never has his phone away from him at all hours, day or night, has given me a rough idea that his empire and responsibilities are huge.
He carries a lot while still maintaining a dominant stance and unbreakable demeanour to his enemies all around, while they play nice to his face. No wonder he is such a psycho.
I wouldn’t last five minutes doing what he does; it’s why he’s so good at manipulation and coercing people and situations. I can see why he is what he is, but it doesn’t make me forgive him in any way or swallow it any better. He’s cold because he is immune to suffering and death. He has probably killed his fair share of people in the last nineteen years since he first pulled that trigger, and I don’t doubt with every single one he lost a little bit of his humanity.
I could never do it, never pull a trigger and take a life no matter how much I hate some people. It’s not in me and I don’t think I could live with the images playing in my head after.
He keeps people at a distance, except his blood of course, they are all close-knit and compact as one fluid unit. That much was obvious in the interaction with Mico and Arrick. The Carreros are a family who stay close, trust one another and have each other’s back. He cares about them, they care about each other and if you are lucky enough to be one of his family, like Sophie, then he makes sure nothing ever happens to you.
Alexi moves mountains for the people he loves, and despite his cold bastard nature, I think he does and is capable of love. He knows how to care and nurture he just chooses not to. Not when it comes to women he fucks anyway.
That kind of love is something he is not open to at all. Alexi is a protector for the ones he allows himself to care for, and I am just an outsider looking in who never even scraped the surface of his armour. It’s depressing knowing no matter what I try and tell myself, he doesn’t care about me even a little bit.
‘’Good, you’re up. Here.’’ Alexi’s voice from behind startles me and I jump as I turn to him and try to regain my composure fast, to not show he’s rattled me. I wasn’t expecting him to break the silent treatment so soon. He looks completely deadpan this morning, no hint of anything under the surface just cool, controlled and groomed to perfection in a light shirt and chinos. He holds out a clipboard to me and I take it gracefully, eyes scanning the first page which is a list of tonight’s guests.
Trying to ignore my physical reaction and keep myself together. Trying not to show him he makes me jumpy, nervy and just fall to bits when he gets too close. It’s like his presence makes me forget everything else and we seem to just start from the here and now. It’s creepy and uncanny, I am not sure I like the ability to sweep it all away and act like mature adults in the new light of day. Not after all he has done.
I tip my chin down and scan the paperwork in a bid to drive my mind on something non-Alexi.
‘‘Only fifteen?’’ I query, confused by the drop in booked rooms tonight when the club has been packed full since opening. One thing which will always take precedence over my fragile emotions, over him—the running of MY club. It’s my baby and I dislike it when someone else changes something to make it run differently to how I do it.
I created this place, tweaked it and caressed it beautifully into the pristine power palace it is … no one gets to fuck with that. I missed this place like crazy when he sent me away and it’s the one place I feel at home.
‘‘It’s intentional. I made Joanne keep the numbers low, so we can give certain guests more options and more attention.’’
Joanne … I don’t even want to open that little jar of poison just yet. I have yet to see the bitch he has put in my place in both this club and his bed. I try to focus on what I have in my hand but my heart is hammering and twisting itself inside out in pain.
Don’t let him get to you Camilla, he knows exactly what he’s doing.
‘’So which ones? So I can make sure their demands are met and their girls are extra attentive.’’ I purr at him, my façade firmly in place, making sure I show no interest at his mention of her. Or the fact I am internally brewing a storm at how he has changed the rota and the plans without consulting me first.
My club, my rota, my way of doing things!!!
‘‘Number six on the list, Mercurio … He’s important and demanding. Multiple girls, a constant flow of booze and product, and he likes to bring his closest to shadow him. His party is four men so that bumps up the numbers.’’ I scan the list and see a Robert Mercurio tagged as CEO of some business name that rings a bell. I think it’s something to do with shipping containers and I wonder if this is who helps him get his weapons around.
‘‘Check. Multiple girls, food, booze, blow all night and extra special sucking up to him and his minions.’’