My tears drying up when my brain moves to curiosity instead, and the smirk I see tugging at his face tells me I am not going to like the answer.
‘’I replaced you. Well, added to you, so when you come back, Joanne … My new girl is your co-hostess. Santagato is taken with her and as I rebuffed him on her too he thinks I’m just a possessive fuck. You’re not in his sights anymore, especially with your absence and my screwing Joanne a little publicly in the VIP lounge. It means he just thinks I don’t share my girls at all.’’ Alexi seems completely deadpan now with a tiny smug look in his eye as I completely churn around inside, my heart wrenching. I literally feel sick as tears sting, but I blink them away and swallow them all down hard.
Hating him more, wounded with the thought that he has slept with someone since he touched me. I know it’s stupid, and he’s been screwing women all along, but I don’t know, I thought maybe I was under his skin enough that it had to count for something. I don’t want anyone else, not since him and I hate the fact he’s touched someone else even though he’s not mine. I didn’t think he could inflict more pain on me, and yet he proves me wrong all over again.
I want him to go away from me, not touch me or even attempt it. He’s dirty and tarred with the touch of another skank, and he can go fuck himself for all I care.
‘’Is she going to cohabit in the apartment too, like a cosy little threesome?’’ I snap at him finding my fire now I’m fuelled on heartbreak, and Alexi looks taken aback by my change in demeanour, my sass prickling out to face the shithead completely head on, and I clench my teeth with added venom. He just smirks at me with sardonic amusement.
‘’Now there’s a thought, but no … She’s currently sharing my bed for now and she’s got her own place to stay. Something you should think about looking for.’’
Now that is something that makes me give him a ‘’what the fuck’’ look of utter shock. I physically blanch and cannot conceal the questioning gawp at the man who refused to let me leave and is now turning me out.
‘‘Now I can move out? Now you have some other tramp tending to your sadistic needs.’’ I shove him back, getting back to my feet, anger brimming and being stupidly reckless, but my rage is burning through me at a rate of knots and I want to stab him with something, anything sharp I can find. He knows how to fuck with my head and my heart, and I literally despise him at this moment.
‘‘She’s a much better fuck than you ever were, and she happens to like getting banged from behind, while being cuffed to my bed.’’ He scowls through an evil smile. Wrenching my heart through my chest and stomping all over it so much that I reach out and I slap him hard across the face without thought. It literally feels like the world just stops turning as the realisation of what I just did reverbs through me and my stinging hand drops to my side. I just stop breathing and curse myself inwardly for this impulsive idiotic reaction to this man.
If my first slap that night in his apartment felt momentous then this just topped that in fury, strength and skill, as a darkening red hand appears on Alexi's face and I just pale completely. So much for keeping my head down and becoming a ‘‘Yes sir.’’
What the hell Camilla? It just feels like everything falls silent around us, and he breaks into the cruellest smile I have ever seen.
‘’Classy. I told you once that you should keep your hands to yourself. I may not hit you but doesn’t mean I won’t let someone else teach you a little respect.’’ Alexi sounds devilish. If you looked up evil in the dictionary there would be a picture of him next to the word instead of a description. I don’t react as I’m in two minds about whether he would let someone else hurt me in ways he refuses too, and seriously do not know the answer to that.
When it comes to him I have no idea. He thinks he can keep hurting me but I give up caring anymore. It’s all too much, too big and too consuming and I can’t keep doing this. I can’t fear everything about him forever. He’s going to do what he’s going to do regardless. I can’t just back down and take it like all the other women he fucks, it’s not in me to put my head down and just take it anymore. I took it all for the years that I was a prisoner, and I won’t go back to that for anyone, not even him. I won’t allow another monster to keep me shackled and obedient while putting me through the depths of hell and torment. I will go down fighting all the way.
‘‘Do your worst, I don’t care about anything you do to me anymore, bring it on and see if I give a shit.’’ I stand my ground, faced with evidence of my slap on his cheek, and yet he seems completely oblivious. It must have hurt like hell as my hand feels like it’s swelling to double the size and burning in excruciating pain.
Alexi stands a little taller, pushing off from the wall to tower over me in all his glory. His eyes locked on me in a silent battle and that face of his returning to unreadable. It’s like a stand-off and I can almost imagine the line in the dust between us.
‘’You haven’t even begun to see my worst, London.’’
I just glare right back at him, trembling on my bare, feet but refusing to back down and show it this time.
I hate that I don’t even doubt that statement.