It’s almost like he’s trying to be reasonable and show me he has sobered up completely, but I am more than wary of him right now. Even if he has come down from his artificial high, I saw that other side and now I can’t undo it. ‘‘I can’t leave your first night unsupervised. It’d be very irresponsible of me, Boss.’’ I smile softly hoping I sound genuine, look relaxed and unaffected, when really, my sweaty palms and trembling body tell me that is not entirely true. Truth being I don’t want to be alone with him.
He sighs heavily and clicks his fingers at the bartender, motioning two at him and points at the wall of expensive whiskies we had imported for his members. He serves only the best in here and his drink of choice is anything that puts hairs on your chest with one sip. I don’t refuse the drink choice, knowing better than to find fault with a command right now.
The tender goes straight to it as Alexi motions for me to sit on one of the high leather stools instead of leaving here and I sit obediently. Relieved he has compromised for a ringside seat and I can at least relax that he would not publicly flog me. There is enough security around here to deter any Alexi psycho moments. I hope.
‘‘I want to apologise for what happened. I normally avoid sampling my own shit on top of drinking all day, but Gino has a way of getting inside my head.’’ He sits next to me and rests his arms on the bar and I just sit stiffly, regarding him quietly. Not sure if this is another charm offensive to smooth over, seeing glimpses of the real him, or a genuine apology. I know I don’t know him. In fact, I have not even nearly begun to graze the surface of this man in the last few months.
‘’He’s your brother; I believe that’s what siblings excel at. I’m sure being twins must be worse.’’ I jest with an empty smile plastered in place and a smooth tone to mask how uneasy I feel. The bubbling tension tying my stomach in knots is unsettling.
‘‘I didn’t mean to scare you. Gino didn’t mean half the shit he said either, so disregard it. It’s about getting back at me and nothing to do with you. He’s still sore about me hitting him when we were teens and when he’s on something he turns into a shithead, a bit like I do.’’ He gives me a one-shoulder shrug and dips his head as he works out a knot in his other. Avoiding my eye for a second and I think I am seeing the very first hints of genuine emotion from the man. A sincere apology and a touch of remorse for Gino.
‘‘So he said … Did you really put your twin in intensive care? How mad must you have been to almost kill your own brother?’’ The shiver which runs down my spine makes me visibly flinch, and he sits back when the bartender slides our drinks to us and walks away. The club staff know not to hang around the people who come here, to listen in. That shit will get you bumped off.
I focus on my glass and not on him.
‘‘I hit him once. I didn’t beat him or even try to seriously hurt him. I was just pissed and lashed out … I just caught him the wrong way and it almost killed him. He had a bleed on the brain and he will never let me forget it either. For some crazy reason he tries to make me snap like that again whenever he’s on a high.’’ Alexi looks odd, sort of guilty I guess although it’s hard to judge a facial expression that I am not used to seeing on him. I can tell underneath all that shit earlier he really does care about his brother even if the two of them are fucked up in the head with how they are together.
Who knew the beast actually has a heart?
‘‘Your brother's got mental issues.’’ I mean why else would you poke the bear that is Alexi, that takes all kinds of stupid and a lack of caring about your health. I’m sitting here sweating buckets over his change in persona and Gino is over there intentionally aiming for one. Guy's crazy.
‘‘I think it runs in my family.’’ He nudges me with his shoulder and it’s a weirdly friendly manoeuvre, not him at all and catches me a little off guard. A moment of that guy who sporadically shows his face and for a second seems a million miles away from the guy I know.