GRACIE
A huge mahogany desk separated us from the middle-aged man who bore a striking resemblance to Hayden, though his eyes were not as deep as Hayden's, by what I presumed was due to age, the sides of his hair were streaked with grey, he stood tall, just about a few inches below Hayden. His presence demanding power despite his advanced age.
His gaze followed us as we made our way further inside the huge study.
My stomach tightened with just a hint of nervousness as he completed the distance between us, his gaze focused on all three of us
"Father " he acknowledged with a slight nod of his head.
I don't think he realized Hayden had spoken, his attention was solely fixed on Hazel who stared right back at him in open curiosity.
I saw a hint of softness in his gaze which slowly transformed into a small smile, that alone set me a little at ease.
"Hello dear child " He spoke for the first time since we entered.
"Hello" she replied in the sweetest voice
"Come over here child " He beckoned extending his arms, Hazel looked up at me at that moment, her gaze seeking approval, I reluctantly let go of her arms as she slowly made her way over to him.
He scrunched down a little to her level, his gaze flickered with something I knew to be wonder, amazement, and....... compassion even.
His palms cupped her features affectionately, Hazel didn't seem to mind the contact as she spoke.
"Are you my grandpa? Daddy said we were coming to visit you "
"For sure I am and I've been wanting to see you very much child "The corners of his eyes cracked merrily as he spoke...
My gaze met Hayden's at that moment and lingered, he'd been right after all that his father was very eager to meet Hazel, they both seemed to be getting along well, but I still couldn't say the same about me as of yet.
As if on cue he straightened up back to full height, this time his attention was sorely fixated on me, his gaze wasn't friendly, but it wasn't hostile either. It was a relief when his gaze directed to Hayden, that was until he spoke.
"Can you leave us both for a moment, I want to speak to her....in private " he dragged out the last part.
They stared at each other, it looked as if they were conveying some secret silent information with each other.
He gave his dad one last lingering look the made his way out with Hazel, but not before casting me a last reassuring look
The door shut close and a tight feeling of nervousness took over me, I felt exposed and alone without him by my side.
My attention snapped when I realized he was speaking to me.
"She's adorable.....reminds me deeply of old happy times " he stated, his voice sounded dazed like he was lost in some distant memories.
I did not doubt what he was thinking about, although he didn't appear accusing, I still couldn't help the feeling of unease that overtook me.
"I'm sorry " I mumbled so low and was surprised that he heard me. He blinked, seeming surprised by my statement.
"Why are you sorry? It wasn't your fault, besides it's already been such a long time ago, It's high time we left the past behind us" he spoke quietly, his gaze deep with meaning.
I stared at him suddenly at loss for words, his gaze mirrored his quietly spoken words, I didn't know why I was so shocked, perhaps because I didn't expect him to be so accepting.
We stayed quiet for a while, I was just beginning to wonder if it was my cue to leave when he broke the silence, his sharp gaze fixed on mine.
"Why are you with my son? "
I wasn't expecting his direct question, it took just about a moment when I began to form up with a response.
"Well, I... "
"After everything, I didn't think you'll end up back with him, Do you think you can change him..or handle him? Have you forgotten everything all those years when he made your life a living hell.. "
"You don't know anything about us! " I spoke aloud, my voice defensive surprising even me, was I trying to defend Hayden against his father?
"I think I know well enough "
"You don't have a right to judge him, if you are so concerned about me why didn't you try to stop him all those years. You may be right, but what we share is a lot more than hurt, it may be broken but it's still ours " I spoke with as much firm as I could muster.
We weren't perfect, and we'll never be, everything may be messed up but it still belongs to us, we've already delved into the sea of finding ourselves, we can only get deeper, never to return even if we wanted to.
I saw something passed through his gaze, then he blinked, and it was gone.
"We thought you weren't good for him, that it would make him lose focus, which isn't going to be a good thing... But it's not necessarily a bad thing either "
I stared at him confused for a moment, but just now...
"Welcome to the family Graciela Evans"
"I haven't agreed to anything yet "
"Well it's only a question of time isn't it,It's time for my prescriptions " He spoke dismissively, pressing two fingers against his temples
I took it as a cue to leave, I was only halfway towards the door when he spoke out.
"I'll like it if you all can stay for a few more days, I'll like to spend some more time with my little granddaughter if it's okay with you"
*
*
HAYDEN
I couldn't stay here for a bit more longer, it felt as if the walls were closing up on me, I knew it wasn't going to be easy but each time I remember the horror in her gaze when we first arrived it felt like a twist in my guts...
But of every emotion throbbing through me, the predominant was the choking taste of.... fear.
"Why did you agree to stay back here for a few more days? "
Her gaze drifted away from mine, the expression she usually wore whenever she isn't being completely honest.
"Well your dad asked....and I couldn't just refuse"
My eyes narrowed suspiciously as I took two quick strides to merge the distance between us.
"Is that the only reason? Are you fucking lying to me? "
She swallowed hard as she struggled with the words.
"Hayden I... "
"You almost passed out this morning so don't fucking tell me that you're okay while you're not! "
My voice came out harsh and rougher than intended and I cursed myself silently.
She inhaled sharply, her eyes brimming wet with emotions, I tensed a bit when she rested her head against my chest.
"Because I was scared, that I was returning to your past self, scared that he's going to get me and hurt me the moment I stepped my foot inside, but how could that be? you're right here with me, I'm really scared of HIM Hayden, scared of the old you, I believe you'll protect me from him, but why do I sense that you're more scared and nervous than I am? "
My body turned even more rigid at her soft-spoken words, I averted my gaze from her searching ones.
"I'll understand if you tell me, Hayden, you don't have to keep everything to yourself, I'm right here, we can share our fears, maybe only after then we'll be able to overcome them. "
Her words brought my attention back to her, I slowly reached my palm to cup her chin, bringing my face close to her, I studied her face vividly, taking her in, her pleading gaze was urging the truth out of me.
"I'm afraid," I said, my voice almost inaudible, I met her gaze with a defeated expression.
"I'm afraid of this place,that you'll remember..... then you'll start hating me"