Elijah
Lily stumbled backwards, her dark eyes shining with unshed tears. Clenching his hands into fists, Elijah forced down the need to reach for her, to comfort her.
He should have told her sooner. He knew it, and yet…
And yet he still didn’t understand why she was reacting like this. Surely, if anything, his being the Alpha was a good thing? She had to know what they were to each other, and, once they’d dredged up enough courage to come clean to one another, should she want to be with him then her pack rank could only improve.
Unless she’d been the Luna of the Blood Moon pack, but Elijah doubted his spies and allies would have let that information slide. Even more so, he doubted that Atticus could refrain from being smug long enough to keep his mouth shut about his mate bond.
Lily swallowed hard. Taking another step back – another step away from him – she inhaled slowly, steadying herself.
“I… I didn’t realise.”
Beside them – and long since forgotten – Nethia snorted. “You didn’t tell her?”
“Yeah,” Lafey added, his tone far too jovial for Elijah’s liking. “If I were the Alpha, it’d be the first thing out my mouth.”
“It’d be preferable to the rubbish that usually comes out of it.”
Elijah wasn’t listening to their bickering. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he inhaled a long, shaky breath. This – this was only the tip of the iceberg. Lily was trembling, her eyes wide. If she could not cope with his pack status, then how would she deal with everything else he’d kept from her?
They needed to talk. He’d brought her home, and yet he had failed to properly prepare her. She swept him away with her gentle touches, so innocent, so sincere, that they could be nothing other than genuine affection – affection for him. Even moments before, chasing Nethia and Lafey through the trees, he’d allowed their bond to cloud his head, making him dizzy, making him jovial – and utterly unlike himself.
And then he’d come to, and the reality of their game had struck him. His position meant that chasing his Warrior Wolves was no way for him to introduce… her. His mate.
That was his wrongdoing, not hers. It was time to make it right.
“I think you two should keep patrolling,” Elijah said, giving each of his Warrior Wolves a stern look. The hint in his eyes was clear, and they both gave him a bow before marching off into the trees. Their back-and-forth bounced between leafy boughs, and Lily offered Elijah a tearful smile at the sound.
“They seem nice,” she said.
“They are. A little dense at times, but nice.”
Silence swelled. Elijah felt it swirling around them, between them, picking apart his every movement. Lily’s gaze was fixed solidly on the base of a nearby pine tree.
Eventually, the tension between them reached a crescendo. He knew he had to break the silence. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“I – it’s fine.” She shook her head. “He…” she swallowed. “Atticus was the Alpha, too.” Gesturing between them, she took a small, shaky step closer. Elijah’s heart filled with hope. “I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me. We…”
“Yes?” His voice was husky, emotion scraping up his throat.
“There’s–“ she gestured between them, fresh tears filling her eyes. Elijah’s throat bobbed. Closing the last of the gap, he pulled her into his arms.
“I know. I don’t know how, but… I know.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I – I honestly didn’t think of it. I… I wanted you to know me, without that.”
She inhaled. Elijah felt the press of her chest against his, felt her body – real, solid, there – before him. She had not left.
She had not left, because she was not Leahne. She was no river, always flowing, always shifting, always changing. She was firelight: she danced, she glowed, and her light was bright enough that it obscured his old scars.
Perhaps his fire would soothe her in return. Her shakes and shivers made him long to learn more of his power – of himself, of the side he’d spent years repressing until his flame was little more than ash. If only he could warm her now, beneath the shade of the pine trees that marked his home.
“Elijah?”
“Yeah?”
“I need you to say it.”
His fingers itched, desperate to smooth his hair over his ears. Instead, he splayed them out across her back. He wasn’t ready to tell her everything, not yet. But this… Elijah knew it was time. Though he’d wanted to keep parts of him from her in order to show the parts he thought really mattered, the tales of his childhood – the easy parts, the parts that he looked back fondly upon – did not make the man.
The struggles, the torment, and the loss did. His first forced shift at age twelve gave him empathy to young wolves experiencing the change for the first time. His parents’ death had shaped him, making him responsible, making him scared. But it had also given him strength: it had given him power, and compassion, and had made him trust in his own decisions. It had made him a leader.
These things, too, were not all he was, but Lily could not know him without knowing that he was the Alpha. He was the Alpha, and, somehow, he had a second chance at finding his soulmate.
Lily deserved to hear the truth from his lips. Though he was certain that she knew – even more so, now – it was clear that it would fall to him to accept it. They’d danced around their bond since they’d met, just as he’d avoided telling her about his status.
He wasn’t ready to tell her everything yet. His faelen side was too fragile a subject to broach, especially when compiled with the messy pieces of the puzzle they’d built together. He would tell her; he felt it in his bones. Just… not now.
His pack deserved the truth, too; just as much as they deserved a Luna. And, Elijah realised, something imperative inside him shifting, so did he.
The feel of her body reassured him, and, though he did not understand, though it felt too raw, too precious, to share with the world, he was ready to share it with her.
“You’re my mate, Lily, and I am yours.”