“Emma I’m talking to you,” I speak peering down at her as she munched her apple with no care in the world.
“I can hear you,” she replied rudely and I had to take a deep breath to stop myself from murdering her.
“What is wrong with you?” the calm voice I use is a total contrast to the unfurling ball of anger that is my mind, heck my whole body.
“None of your business.” She spat at me before walking, no stomping out. Making sure to dramatically throw her half eaten apple into the bin.
I stare at her wide eyed until I couldn’t see her as she went out of my sight, the sound of the front door being closed reached me seconds later. I huff deciding whenever she was done with her bitchy act she would come right back to me because who the hell does she have apart from me. We are a package. Right?
My barely there appetite completely disappeared after that and I walk out of the house with my backpack slung over my shoulder carelessly. I’ll be late for my class but I take the risk and walk, I needed to cool my head before those damn fucking chemicals kill the last two cells in my brain.
Who even thought school was good fucking idea? I mean I’m totally fine with being a housewife in the 1800s that all my troubles would just be the ton, who was getting married or wore the latest fabric and most importantly, what to wear to a soiree. I don’t belong in this wacky generation.
The little mental argument kept me busy until I turned the corner to the school gate. I breathe in through my mouth, somehow hoping everything that happened yesterday was just a freaking nightmare and I’ll meet up with Beast and Emerald and they’ll tell me all the crazy things they did last night with their crazy rich parent's money and because they owned their evenings.
Sometimes I have to admit that I do feel jealous when they spoke about all they would do, or choose to do. They don’t know how very lucky they are to even have the option to choose, I never realized the right to pick what you want was a fucking privilege until I lost it.
No one speaks to me as I walk, not that I expected them to, honestly but I still felt the jab and I could have sworn I heard whispers, insults hurled at me, I convince myself I’m just over thinking but a small part of me knows that is what is happening. If not right down then definitely elsewhere some other time, I would be the topic of group discussions and ridicule.
Another reason for me to hate the stupid place called school even though its my only decent getaway, do you see what I deal with every fucking day?
My first class is organic chemistry, I’m not going to lie it almost brought tears to my eyes when I remembered the test I flopped and how I would probably not graduate. I think I deserve a fucking year to just cry my pain and misfortunes out but no, life doesn’t work that way.
It expects you to just keep getting back up after it throws fur balls of fire your way without giving you a breather. I mean you could sit and just cry but then nothing would change and then you’ll hate yourself when you’re done with the pity party and you realize you still have to get your shit back on track and you've wasted so much time crying about how it isn’t fair.
I don’t have the luxury for a breather, heck life throws multiple fucking fireballs at me without a heads up and when I try to shake the first three off, ten more come and I’ll be fully covered until I don’t know what to do with myself again.
But no one is going to clean my shit up for me, I have to do it. It sure is better than crying.
The class is almost full when I finally enter and it's no surprise when i sight Dr. Meeks at the front sharing his boring knowledge, oh I mean quality important education.
I move to the back of the class and sit at the seat looking out the expanse lawn of the school. I stare at the few people milling about with books in hand, though most of them were holding phones or tabs.
I notice Beast walking with someone while he typed furiously on his phone, I almost call out just to see him look around looking like a lost puppy trying to find who was calling him when it hit me that he wasn’t talking to me.
What I’d said was totally unfair and really immature, I don’t even know how the words left my lips but they did and now I’m more or less fucked because I don’t even know how to start apologizing.
I don't know what happened in the whole class but I walk out finally when I saw people heading to the door.
"Cathy. Cathy wait up." I turn to the person calling my name and I think my heart jumped up then dropped back to my chest.
Adrian jogged up to me and smiled, yes Adrian Peterson, the rich, tall and egotistic man I'm in love with, yes him. He is running right up to me, I don't even try to make my heart beat like a normal heart.
"Hey, Cathy how are you?" How does he know my name? Wait that doesn't matter, he fucking knows my name!
Be cool, be cool! I tell myself before smiling like the cool and calm minded person that I am.
"I'm fine, hey....." I know half his history but I pretend to ask just so I don't seem like the stalker that I am.
"Adrian?" He sounds a bit surprised that I don't know his name, trust me almost if not everybody know him.
He is some politicians son and you know how rich people are, they love people rich and so everyone hoards around him. He tries to get them to go away saying he wanted to chat with me without paparazzi. Chat with me? Damn imma be the next Michelle Obama.