Once again I found myself in that windowless room that had once been my prison.
My gaze fell wistfully to one of the Keno exercise machines while the neon light flickered above me and I just couldn't think of the situation to deal with.
I sank into the memory of how he wrapped his thick sweater around my body, carried me back here in his arms and I was slightly over my face. He probably wanted to avoid me seeing what he had done to the girls, but even without seeing it I could visualize it and stood up in shock at the thought.
"Keno!" I shouted a little louder and knocked on the locked door several times, but just like a few hours ago, I got no response. Did he seriously want to punish me? For what anyway?
Just because I ran away? That was my right! After all, I was an adult wolf and not his property, as he was only too happy to have. Besides, I just wanted to go home and wasn't a brutal killer like him.
Frustrated that I couldn't seem to do anything about being locked in here, I was about to sit back down when I heard a key on the door and looked at it with wide eyes, but it wasn't keno, it was Jamal who suddenly stood in the doorway and eyed me blankly.
"Fuck off," I hissed, meeting his gaze, but he didn't react at all, putting a newspaper and a plate of toast and eggs on the small dresser by the door before turning his back on me to leave .
"I hate him," I blurted out, clenching my hands into fists and Jamal pausing at my statement. "And I'll always run away! I'll never bow to beasts like you!"
"Read the newspaper," he said completely calmly and unimpressed, and when he then closed the door from the outside, I stomped to the dresser, took the plate and threw it against the door with all my might, at the same time expressing hatred, crying out in anger and sadness.
It drove me crazy in these narrow four walls. Plus the smell of keno that was in the air everywhere! Luckily he hadn't handed me any cutlery with the meal! I probably would have rammed it down my throat in desperation...or him...
Almost in tears, I let my back slide down the wall next to the door and looked at my bare feet, which still ached slightly from my walk in the woods, and then let my eyes glide over the much too large, red sweater from Keno. that fell to my knees. I wanted to tear it up, but I certainly wouldn't please him and stand here naked the next time he found the time to check on me.
Then hours passed...
Hours that felt like days and after I had already had conversations with myself out of boredom, after I no longer knew what to do with myself, I glanced up and saw a corner of the newspaper sticking out over the edge of the dresser, which I hesitantly put between mine fingers, and then took the newspaper with me.
"Why?" I asked myself questioningly and unfolded the newspaper in front of me on the dark floor... What did he want me to read? Was that another mind game?
I read all kinds of things about the weather, which of course only predicted rain, and I turn to the next page to hold my breath and read the next few lines.
Several children disappeared without a trace.
Mother of three children found attacked by animals in the forest.
And those weren't the only reports. I quickly took the newspaper in my trembling hands and read about the many deaths and also about the fact that people didn't even know whether it was animals or people who had mauled these people like this...
But I knew who could do that... Two hungry little girls I was trying desperately to protect...
"Crap..."
That was all I could get out of my trembling lips as I gazed at the faces of the missing children and listened to the teardrops trickle down onto the paper beneath me.
I felt bad and helpless because I didn't know what was right or wrong anymore.... I didn't know who or what I was anymore. I was so confused that I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe, so I pushed the newspaper away and put my hands on the floor, very slowly and carefully getting my body up.
"Keno!" I tried to call out, but I lost my voice altogether, which made me even more panicky in the cramped space.
I struggled to calm my rapid breathing and body tremors, but no matter what I forced myself to think about, I couldn't forget those pictures I'd seen in the newspaper. Couldn't forget the headlines and also the smell from the forest, pushed itself almost obsessively into my mind again and again...
I was going to go insane now... There were enough stories about werewolves who had turned their backs on their race and had split personalities to end up drooling and lonely...
I had resisted what I was all my life. I'd rather be a human and now I even wanted to help two vampires escape. Basically, that was high treason, after their kind nearly wiped us out...
And then there was keno... He was the one I had to fight the most and I could already feel my wolf pulling away from me more and more... She wasn't there anymore, she was broken, every time I rejected him. Suffered when I fled from him and now she barely made a sound.
"Aria?" I heard someone outside the door and clutched my maddened, burning chest to catch my breath.
"Jamal, I have to get out of here," I whispered, leaning my forehead against the cool wall next to the door to counteract the feeling of bursting into flames.
"Didn't you just say that-"
"Let me out!" I brought out loudly with the last of my strength and hit the wall with my fist lightly, after which, to my relief, the door finally opened.
I turned my face to the side, looking at Jamal for help, whose eyes widened at the sight of me.
"Air, please," I ground out and he immediately wrapped his arm around my back to gently lead me down the hallway and up the stairs.
And then Keno's eyes met mine as he sat at the table watching me closely...